In the wilderness
I've realized recently that without God I am nothing. There is absolutely no good in me if it weren't for Jesus. I've always read about the sinful nature and how the righteous man falls seven times but it seems like that truth has just been revealed to me in a way that I can understand. God is truly everything to me. Lately, that has not been evident in my life but I'm definitely moving forward. We aren't going to the church that we have attended for four years now because, well, they were going in a different direction than we wanted to go. The church seemed to be more of a country club than a place to worship and give honor to Jesus. I don't want to cross any lines when I talk about the church so I'm going to leave it at that. Anyway, we have been attending a couple of churches. One in Monticello and then one in Lafayette. This is definitely a struggle. I've never felt so lost before. My whole family was really involved with that church. My mom was a teacher in the youth class and my sister was a helper there too. My step-dad and I sang on the worship team. I loved singing but maybe I was too dependent on that position. My mom said that those weren't positions but assignments. I know it was right to move on. When I read Acts I think, "Why can't we find a church like that?" A church that is just completely devoted to Jesus Christ. I know that a church isn't about a building, and I'm not looking for a building. God, help me. I've never felt so lost or disoriented. God is good and I know that he hasn't nor will he ever forsake his people.