Chauntelle, Sherri, Weston, Stacy, Christie, Colin, Kayla
Yesterday, I spent a lot of time with Kayla in my lap people watching. Usually that puts me in a position to be very judgemental, but things just seemed to slow down for me and i took note of all the details. Christie kept her arm close to her body when anyone walked within a yard of her, as if they were going to break it again. Sherri seemed to be the only one going full speed, going from conversation to conversation, making sure the weather was an interesting topic. Weston and Jessie sat in two fold out chairs half the time, holding their hands between them, her ankle crossing his. He would look at her and smile while she'd bite her lip and keep her eyes in her lap, smiling all the same. Stacy spent a lot of time near Colin, making sure he didn't direct his friends into one of the tables that carried punch bowls or the big cake.
Mom was so beautiful; I don't even see a difference in my mother from her wedding photo twenty-five years ago to the woman she is now. Dad was looking at her much in the same way that Weston looks at Jessie. Love keeps you youn and beautiful, no matter what ordeals you've been put through. It's almost trite to hear that coming from me, even though it's obvious that that sort of love is no different from what I share with my daughter. I watched her closely too, and saw parts of me in her expression. She seemed to be paying close attention to the same things I was, and I don't know if she was doing it because she'd seen me doing it, or if she really recognized how perfect everything was. Children are so forgiving and innocent because their minds aren't yet filled with the horrible realities that adults have faced. I envied her, then, because I would sometimes like to be as forgiving, when grudges only last a few minutes after saying no to the extended bedtime or the extra cookie before dinner.
Someday, I think I will find the bond that my mother and father have. Now, the extra variable makes it a little difficult for me to let any man into Kayla's life because I'm more worried about they way he is with children than he is with me. She needs a father figure in her life and it's hard because people my age are still looking for low-maintenance girls that don't have the baggage. I can't let just anyone charm me into his life before making sure that Kayla won't be brushed aside, and sometimes I meet wonderful men that just wouldn't cut it as fathers. In a way, I'm lucky to have the ability to see these things right away because some women get so swept up in love and later find out that they have good lovers, but they don't have adequate fathers. A man that isn't good with children just doesn't seem to hold the compassion to keep longevity. My parents are the perfect example.
Mom was so beautiful; I don't even see a difference in my mother from her wedding photo twenty-five years ago to the woman she is now. Dad was looking at her much in the same way that Weston looks at Jessie. Love keeps you youn and beautiful, no matter what ordeals you've been put through. It's almost trite to hear that coming from me, even though it's obvious that that sort of love is no different from what I share with my daughter. I watched her closely too, and saw parts of me in her expression. She seemed to be paying close attention to the same things I was, and I don't know if she was doing it because she'd seen me doing it, or if she really recognized how perfect everything was. Children are so forgiving and innocent because their minds aren't yet filled with the horrible realities that adults have faced. I envied her, then, because I would sometimes like to be as forgiving, when grudges only last a few minutes after saying no to the extended bedtime or the extra cookie before dinner.
Someday, I think I will find the bond that my mother and father have. Now, the extra variable makes it a little difficult for me to let any man into Kayla's life because I'm more worried about they way he is with children than he is with me. She needs a father figure in her life and it's hard because people my age are still looking for low-maintenance girls that don't have the baggage. I can't let just anyone charm me into his life before making sure that Kayla won't be brushed aside, and sometimes I meet wonderful men that just wouldn't cut it as fathers. In a way, I'm lucky to have the ability to see these things right away because some women get so swept up in love and later find out that they have good lovers, but they don't have adequate fathers. A man that isn't good with children just doesn't seem to hold the compassion to keep longevity. My parents are the perfect example.