Archiving: Going UP by Cowardly Lion
Originally posted November 2nd for the jd_commentfic Kinkathon, I'm archiving the story here now.
Going UP is 1,114 words of R-rated humour written to the prompts of accidental frottage in an elevator and sex in a storage closet. The pairing is Jack/Daniel established relationship, but Sam and Teal'c are vital to the story.
Going UP by Cowardly Lion
"Carter? You running away from home?" Frowning, Jack backed farther into the elevator.
In front of him, Daniel barely looked up from his notes as Sam trundled the first extra large alien...doohickey? gadget? whatever the hell that was...into the elevator.
"Sorry guys." She sounded a little breathless from pushing a machine that was almost as tall as she was and several feet wide along each side. Teal'c was pushing what looked like its twin. Both machines were strapped to casters for the move.
Jack reached out and dragged Daniel back to stand directly in front of him, giving Sam and Teal'c the space they needed to wedge into the elevator. Daniel and Jack were both occupying the minute space at left rear of the elevator car while Sam and Teal'c were crushed together at the front right where the control panel was. Sam's machines were crammed up against Daniel, who merely used the nearest one as a platform for his notes and continued reading, seemingly unaware that his ass was mashed up against Jack's crotch.
"The move from storage to my lab would take twice as long if we went over to the service elevators," explained Sam as Teal'c hit the button for her level. "I know it's a little crowded, but it's just for a few minutes." Unable to turn around to face them as she spoke, she tossed an apologetic smile at them over her shoulder.
Crowded? The car was way past crowded, especially in the area around Jack's groin. There was pressure and...jostling. Rubbing, even. The exquisite friction of Daniel's pert ass sliding across Jack's groin was arousing in the extreme. Jack felt his cock swell and thanked his lucky stars that his over-blouse would hide the erection. Trapped as he was between the walls of the elevator, the alien machine and Daniel, there was nowhere Jack could go to avoid that touch and frankly it was taking all his will power not to thrust. He felt himself break out in a sweat as he fought to keep his breathing under control, too.
It was the longest damn elevator ride in the history of ever.
The ding announcing they were at Sam's level was a beautiful sound. Jack managed to eke out a few more minutes of patience as Sam and Teal'c maneuvered the awkward cargo out of the elevator and headed toward her lab, just a couple of doors down the hall. Jack kept his hand on the "open doors" button a few seconds longer than he needed to. Once Sam and Teal'c were well on their way, Jack grabbed Daniel's arm and hauled him out of the elevator.
"Hey!" protested Daniel. "This isn't our - "
Jack clapped his hand over Daniel's mouth and dragged him down the hallway. The other half of SG-1 was still in the corridor, just making the turn into the lab and Jack was trying to be sneaky. He and Daniel were headed toward Sam's lab, but they wouldn't be going that far. There was a storeroom right next to her lab which didn't show up on any security cameras. Quickly, Jack pushed Daniel into the storage room and turned on the light. He locked the door as he slammed Daniel up against it and kissed him. Hard.
Daniel clutched his notebook tightly as he pushed Jack away. "On base?" he hissed in a whisper. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Jesus, Daniel," griped Jack in a low voice as he lifted his shirt to show off the outline of his erection, "have you no shame? Blatantly feeling me up with your ass right in front of Carter and T-man!"
"ME? You rubbed your crotch on my ass," complained Daniel.
"You stuck your ass on my crotch!"
"You're the one who put me there. You pulled me in front of you like that."
"Well, you didn't have to wiggle."
"I was trying to move away from you, to...to...to put as much distance between us I could."
The intense whispers were starting to increase in volume.
"Yeah, well you suck at it," Jack accused.
"Oh god," whimpered Daniel, "don't say suck."
Jack grabbed Daniel's hand and shoved it down his pants where it automatically wrapped around Jack's hard-on. "Fuck, yeah," groaned Jack. "Do me with your hand." His hips pushed forward into Daniel's grip. As Jack reached for Daniel's pants for a little reciprocity, there was a commotion outside.
"General Hammond!" Sam chirped loudly in the hallway near their door. "Hi! Hello, sir, General Hammond, sir!"
"Major." Hammond spoke slowly and Jack could visualize the assessing look the general must be giving Sam. "Have you seen Colonel O'Neill?"
"He's not in the storage closet with Daniel, that's for sure!" Sam's voice was overly cheerful and just this side of deranged.
There was a long pause then Teal'c's deep voice, slow and measured, suggested, "Earlier today, O'Neill spoke of a desire to visit the weapons range. It is possible he is there."
Another pause. Sam, bless her heart, was the world's crappiest liar which probably had the General's bullshit meter twanging like a guywire in a windstorm. On the other end of the spectrum was Teal'c who could tell you day was night which such sincerity you'd look at the sun and remark how bright the moon was. Finally, Hammond said, "Thank you, Teal'c. I'll look for him there. If you should happen to see him, please remind him that he was to meet with me in the armory to discuss that new weapons system."
After Hammond's footsteps faded into the distance there was a brisk knock on the door followed by Teal'c's voice. "I would advise you to make haste. General Hammond will not be deterred for long."
Daniel looked too mortified to speak, so Jack gave it a shot. He had to clear his throat and start over. "Uh, yeah, thanks big guy. We'll, um, we'll be right out." Jack pulled away from Daniel's lax hand and started putting himself back together. Daniel did the same.
As he buttoned his fly, Jack asked, "What's that fancy chocolate Carter likes?"
"Godiva." Daniel tried to smooth out the notebook pages he had crumpled.
"Right." Jack straightened his blouse. "Let's get her the biggest box they have."
"And for Teal'c?" Daniel no longer looked like he was about to be debauched, but was his usual self again.
"Dinner at that new place with the mechanical bull riding." Jack unlocked the door to the closet. "Let this be a lesson to you about starting things on base."
A slight breeze was the only warning Jack got as Daniel smacked him in back of the head with the notebook.
FINIS
Going UP is 1,114 words of R-rated humour written to the prompts of accidental frottage in an elevator and sex in a storage closet. The pairing is Jack/Daniel established relationship, but Sam and Teal'c are vital to the story.
Going UP by Cowardly Lion
"Carter? You running away from home?" Frowning, Jack backed farther into the elevator.
In front of him, Daniel barely looked up from his notes as Sam trundled the first extra large alien...doohickey? gadget? whatever the hell that was...into the elevator.
"Sorry guys." She sounded a little breathless from pushing a machine that was almost as tall as she was and several feet wide along each side. Teal'c was pushing what looked like its twin. Both machines were strapped to casters for the move.
Jack reached out and dragged Daniel back to stand directly in front of him, giving Sam and Teal'c the space they needed to wedge into the elevator. Daniel and Jack were both occupying the minute space at left rear of the elevator car while Sam and Teal'c were crushed together at the front right where the control panel was. Sam's machines were crammed up against Daniel, who merely used the nearest one as a platform for his notes and continued reading, seemingly unaware that his ass was mashed up against Jack's crotch.
"The move from storage to my lab would take twice as long if we went over to the service elevators," explained Sam as Teal'c hit the button for her level. "I know it's a little crowded, but it's just for a few minutes." Unable to turn around to face them as she spoke, she tossed an apologetic smile at them over her shoulder.
Crowded? The car was way past crowded, especially in the area around Jack's groin. There was pressure and...jostling. Rubbing, even. The exquisite friction of Daniel's pert ass sliding across Jack's groin was arousing in the extreme. Jack felt his cock swell and thanked his lucky stars that his over-blouse would hide the erection. Trapped as he was between the walls of the elevator, the alien machine and Daniel, there was nowhere Jack could go to avoid that touch and frankly it was taking all his will power not to thrust. He felt himself break out in a sweat as he fought to keep his breathing under control, too.
It was the longest damn elevator ride in the history of ever.
The ding announcing they were at Sam's level was a beautiful sound. Jack managed to eke out a few more minutes of patience as Sam and Teal'c maneuvered the awkward cargo out of the elevator and headed toward her lab, just a couple of doors down the hall. Jack kept his hand on the "open doors" button a few seconds longer than he needed to. Once Sam and Teal'c were well on their way, Jack grabbed Daniel's arm and hauled him out of the elevator.
"Hey!" protested Daniel. "This isn't our - "
Jack clapped his hand over Daniel's mouth and dragged him down the hallway. The other half of SG-1 was still in the corridor, just making the turn into the lab and Jack was trying to be sneaky. He and Daniel were headed toward Sam's lab, but they wouldn't be going that far. There was a storeroom right next to her lab which didn't show up on any security cameras. Quickly, Jack pushed Daniel into the storage room and turned on the light. He locked the door as he slammed Daniel up against it and kissed him. Hard.
Daniel clutched his notebook tightly as he pushed Jack away. "On base?" he hissed in a whisper. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Jesus, Daniel," griped Jack in a low voice as he lifted his shirt to show off the outline of his erection, "have you no shame? Blatantly feeling me up with your ass right in front of Carter and T-man!"
"ME? You rubbed your crotch on my ass," complained Daniel.
"You stuck your ass on my crotch!"
"You're the one who put me there. You pulled me in front of you like that."
"Well, you didn't have to wiggle."
"I was trying to move away from you, to...to...to put as much distance between us I could."
The intense whispers were starting to increase in volume.
"Yeah, well you suck at it," Jack accused.
"Oh god," whimpered Daniel, "don't say suck."
Jack grabbed Daniel's hand and shoved it down his pants where it automatically wrapped around Jack's hard-on. "Fuck, yeah," groaned Jack. "Do me with your hand." His hips pushed forward into Daniel's grip. As Jack reached for Daniel's pants for a little reciprocity, there was a commotion outside.
"General Hammond!" Sam chirped loudly in the hallway near their door. "Hi! Hello, sir, General Hammond, sir!"
"Major." Hammond spoke slowly and Jack could visualize the assessing look the general must be giving Sam. "Have you seen Colonel O'Neill?"
"He's not in the storage closet with Daniel, that's for sure!" Sam's voice was overly cheerful and just this side of deranged.
There was a long pause then Teal'c's deep voice, slow and measured, suggested, "Earlier today, O'Neill spoke of a desire to visit the weapons range. It is possible he is there."
Another pause. Sam, bless her heart, was the world's crappiest liar which probably had the General's bullshit meter twanging like a guywire in a windstorm. On the other end of the spectrum was Teal'c who could tell you day was night which such sincerity you'd look at the sun and remark how bright the moon was. Finally, Hammond said, "Thank you, Teal'c. I'll look for him there. If you should happen to see him, please remind him that he was to meet with me in the armory to discuss that new weapons system."
After Hammond's footsteps faded into the distance there was a brisk knock on the door followed by Teal'c's voice. "I would advise you to make haste. General Hammond will not be deterred for long."
Daniel looked too mortified to speak, so Jack gave it a shot. He had to clear his throat and start over. "Uh, yeah, thanks big guy. We'll, um, we'll be right out." Jack pulled away from Daniel's lax hand and started putting himself back together. Daniel did the same.
As he buttoned his fly, Jack asked, "What's that fancy chocolate Carter likes?"
"Godiva." Daniel tried to smooth out the notebook pages he had crumpled.
"Right." Jack straightened his blouse. "Let's get her the biggest box they have."
"And for Teal'c?" Daniel no longer looked like he was about to be debauched, but was his usual self again.
"Dinner at that new place with the mechanical bull riding." Jack unlocked the door to the closet. "Let this be a lesson to you about starting things on base."
A slight breeze was the only warning Jack got as Daniel smacked him in back of the head with the notebook.
FINIS