New Slash Ficlet: The Greater Good
Apparently, I'm all dark and angsty, or at least I was last night when I wrote this Stargate SG-1 ficlet, wherein Jack finds out what Daniel is willing to do for love.
Title: The Greater Good
Author: Cowardly Lion
Feedback: Hell Yeah!!! Er, I mean, feedback is always appreciated, either here, by email, or at the Alphagate Archive
Category: Established relationship, Angst
Pairing: Jack / Daniel
Rating: PG for mild Swearing
Status: Complete
Series: None
Season/Spoilers: Set late in Season 5. No spoilers.
Archive: The Alphagate, Area 52. Anyone else, please ask first.
Synopsis: How far are you willing to go for love?
Notes: MANY THANKS to my betas AnnO, Mare, and Barb.
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1, the characters and universe are the property of Kawoosh Productions, Showtime/Viacom, Sony/MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement is intended. Sadly, I don’t own the Stargate characters. I just want to play with them for a bit, but I promise to put them back when I’m done. Any original characters are mine, Mine, MINE! Um, I mean, any original characters belong to me, as do the story and the story idea. Please don’t print or archive without my permission. Thanks!
The Greater Good
“Jesus Christ, tell me you’re kidding.” Wide-eyed, Jack grabbed Daniel’s wrist. The tendons under his fingers felt like steel cables from the man’s white knuckled grip on the knob. The smell of wet pavement and the steady susurration of the rain drifted in through the half open door of the house.
“I’m not kidding.” Daniel’s voice was strained. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t love you this much and pretend not to care.”
“But I know you care. And you know I love you just as much.” Where the hell was this coming from?
“But you can’t show it and neither can I. I’m tired of the secrecy, of constantly looking over our shoulders, covering our tracks.” Daniels fair complexion was starting to get blotchy.
“You can’t just resign.” How could he do this? How could the SGC let him? Jack couldn’t imagine the government letting Dr. Jackson just walk away from the program.
“I’ve already talked to Hammond. It was official before I left the base today.”
What the hell was going on? Jack felt his heart racing and subconsciously slowed his breathing to calm himself. “So you tell me now? Now that it’s too late?”
“It was the only way to be sure you couldn’t stop me.” Daniel’s jaw was clenched in that determined look that meant that he was thoroughly committed to a certain course of action.
“You don’t want me to stop you?” Blindsided. He’d been totally blindsided by this.
“So, what, you come here and start a fight?”
Reaching a hand up under his glasses, Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his red-rimmed eyes shut for a second. He used the tips of his fingers to rub to moisture from his wet spiked lashes. “It’s not a fight - it’s the fight, and I didn’t start it. It’s the same fight we’ve been having for almost a year now and nothing is resolved or satisfied or changed in anyway by it. Because we can’t change anything. We can’t change the rules that you have to live by.”
“What does this solve?” Jack spread out his shaking hands, palms up, imploring. “So you leave the SGC. I’m still there. I’m still an officer. How does this help us?”
“It’s not just the SGC I’m leaving.” Daniel stared into Jack’s eyes.
Understanding was like a punch to the stomach. Jack felt the breath blow out of his lungs and the pain in his chest like a fist squeezing the life out of his heart. "You're leaving me?" Even saying it out loud didn't make it seem real.
Daniel inhaled - a deep ragged sigh of a sound. “I signed their agreements and they signed mine. I’m leaving Jack. You won’t see me again after this.”
“What? Why? Where are you going? What are-” So many questions crowded his mind that he couldn’t get them out, couldn’t even think them through. Daniel was leaving him. Leaving him. The lump in his throat was so big he wondered that he had room for the words that tried to come out of his mouth.
“I won’t tell you. Hammond won’t tell you either. He signed an agreement and no one else knows. The last thing you need to do is follow me. How would it look if Colonel O’Neill went blazing off to retrieve “his” archeologist? And I know you’d be tempted to. Hell, you’ve probably already worked out a basic plan as we speak. The only way to keep that from happening is to make sure you don’t know where I am. You have enemies. The SGC has enemies. Even I have enemies. And every one of them would clap their hands in glee if they could get something like this on you. If they could get me on you - literally.”
Dear god, what would he do without Daniel? Daniel was sweet and tender and kind and infuriating and annoying and absolutely necessary to Jack. No wonder he hurt. He was being cut in half. Desperate, Jack tried another tack. “Think - think about me for a minute,” he pleaded.
“I have thought about you Jack. That’s the only thing that’s kept me here the past few months. And it’s the reason I have to go.” Sniffing, Daniel dabbed at his nose with the back of his wrist. “For god’s sake, Jack we can’t even be ourselves in the privacy of our own homes because of the possibility of surveillance. We can never relax. We can never just be Jack and Daniel. No matter where we are, the military and the SGC come with us and every minute of every day I’m terrified of compromising you, of being the reason you're stripped of your rank and your dignity and sent to prison. I don’t want to be your downfall. I can’t…I can’t live like this anymore. Being with you is killing me, Jack. You’re killing me.”
Jack dropped his hands, standing still and straight and tall. He had to breathe through his mouth as he quietly asked, “And leaving me won’t hurt?”
Daniel shook his head slowly, staring off into the distance over Jack’s shoulder. “No. It’ll hurt, probably even more than this. But it’s the only way I can keep you safe.” Turning, he opened the door all the way and walked out into the gentle spring rain.
FINIS