Warning... Im venting!!!!
Why… why would one still sit and listen to a song… a song which memories are connected to directly. Memories, that’s all they are. Sweet sweet moments frozen in time. Sayings, comments, looks, glances, the feeling, the smell. A song can bring it all back, no matter how hard you try to push it to the depths of your mind. Even a song not directly connected, just a simple song whose lyrics bring you to that state of mind, that refresh those same thoughts you are mustering all your strength to forget. They say that it just takes time? But who has time to spend. Such a precious commodity cannot, or rather shouldn’t, be spent so easily and squandered on any one given thing. What makes a song so addicting, that you can’t stop listening to it despite how sad it makes you feel. What makes a song so intriguing that it compels you, to the point where you yearn to hear the lyrics constantly, you hum it in your mind, to yourself, out loud, whichever… even if the aftermath of how you feel is worse then which you began…. Why?
And how can someone mean so much to you that it brings you to tears simply thinking of them. Do you tell them over and over and over and over again that they truly mean so much to them. Or does the repetition of those words give it less meaning the next time you happen to say it. Or does it get sickening and old. But if you don’t tell, how could you live with yourself knowing that you had the chance, didn’t take it, and can never get that chance back again. Do you pretend like it doesn’t mean anything to you, or doesn’t mean as much as it really does, or do you give way to traditional and popular standards of what to and what not to do.
And when hurt, by someone who really meant a great deal to you, is it wrong to quickly catch an attitude with him or her, easily get mad at him or her, and not talk to him or her as much. It seems so wrong, yet, it is so easy to do, especially if you can find a way to stay mad at them long enough--long enough to the point where your truly not mad, but merely acting, and not that you even get off on being upset, or mad at them, or mean, but that it seems easier to stay mad, then to forgive them for what they really haven’t done and just chalk it up to fate and life’s destination for you. That maybe, you might stop hurting, or at the very least hurt less when your not being your sweetest, sweet, or simply pleasant. You think that maybe, maybe if you protect yourself with a façade of emotions, replace being hurt for anger, that you might get back at them. That maybe your spiteful words or actions, or lack thereof, might affect them so much to the point where they start hurting. And their hurt, though not as deep, is just as bad, because they too are just asking Why?
And how can someone mean so much to you that it brings you to tears simply thinking of them. Do you tell them over and over and over and over again that they truly mean so much to them. Or does the repetition of those words give it less meaning the next time you happen to say it. Or does it get sickening and old. But if you don’t tell, how could you live with yourself knowing that you had the chance, didn’t take it, and can never get that chance back again. Do you pretend like it doesn’t mean anything to you, or doesn’t mean as much as it really does, or do you give way to traditional and popular standards of what to and what not to do.
And when hurt, by someone who really meant a great deal to you, is it wrong to quickly catch an attitude with him or her, easily get mad at him or her, and not talk to him or her as much. It seems so wrong, yet, it is so easy to do, especially if you can find a way to stay mad at them long enough--long enough to the point where your truly not mad, but merely acting, and not that you even get off on being upset, or mad at them, or mean, but that it seems easier to stay mad, then to forgive them for what they really haven’t done and just chalk it up to fate and life’s destination for you. That maybe, you might stop hurting, or at the very least hurt less when your not being your sweetest, sweet, or simply pleasant. You think that maybe, maybe if you protect yourself with a façade of emotions, replace being hurt for anger, that you might get back at them. That maybe your spiteful words or actions, or lack thereof, might affect them so much to the point where they start hurting. And their hurt, though not as deep, is just as bad, because they too are just asking Why?