(no subject)
arg, brief update: life sucks, break ups suck, dealing with the after math sucks. In conclusion: life sucks and can be a big bitch.
It would probably be difficult, but if anyone wants to know how I am doing or what is going on in my crappy life check out: http://sarachatr.blogspot.com/
but that would be complaining, i guess it is easy to complain with the knowledge that no one will ever read it. eh, whatever.
SLeep Time!!
since i am very lazy, here is the blog i just wrote:
Life is disgusting, it disgusts me. People are cruel, disgusting, perverted and any other word you can think about that will fit what I am talking about. Let's just say that I am not in a people mood today. Let us also say that today is another one of my depressing days. It is so difficult to get him out of my head. I gave him so much of myself, but I did not give him the true me. That part is untainted from his touch. But my heart has been tainted, bruised, and still in pain. When I think about my grandfathers last day, I think about him. That day I was already in a rotten mood. I installed sims and I had to uninstall all of them, all of my saved games were lost. Then my father called, and told me what happened. It was at that point that I knew what the next night would bring. For awhile, I continued to stay quiet and think,then the water began to pour. He came over and held me tight. That night I cried in bed, but not too much. I was nervous. But I knew that I had to stay strong. The next night, I cried myself to sleep. For an hour I cried, I had to calm myself down in order to go to sleep. But while I slept, he held me tight, a feeling that I miss. I felt safe. Even though my grandfather had passed on, I felt that at least I had someone that loved me. Why, why did I fool myself? I miss that feeling of safety. That was the first time I ever truly felt safe. This past year was hard. Every night I came home from a hard day of school only to hear constant yells. So yes, I was happy when I got into a relationship, because I felt safe. I was able to forget about all of my problems at home while with him. I can't forget the many good times we had. Sunset at the beach, staring at the stars, having him at graduation, and spending time with him. I gave him myself but he did not see that. It hurts so much. My friends do not understand. It was only 3 months, why am I so bummed out? Well, I gave him my heart, and I fell, hard.
People can't stand it, I should just get over him, but our case was special. Even today, I went to play WoW, and I saw that he took his character off. That hurt, he went on to my account and took his off. Even without him being here, he still hurts me. Every hurt in unconscious though. Because I am too sensitive. Well that is me, but I guess being me isn't right. I do not know anymore.
I do not know anything anymore. I only know pain, I only know what I feel. Now I feel pain, and lonely. My friend is away, she will be busy, and I will be unable to speak to her. But that's just what I feel. My opinions. And yes, they are depressed.
Such is life, and it stinks. Might as well go to sleep, zonked.
It would probably be difficult, but if anyone wants to know how I am doing or what is going on in my crappy life check out: http://sarachatr.blogspot.com/
but that would be complaining, i guess it is easy to complain with the knowledge that no one will ever read it. eh, whatever.
SLeep Time!!
since i am very lazy, here is the blog i just wrote:
Life is disgusting, it disgusts me. People are cruel, disgusting, perverted and any other word you can think about that will fit what I am talking about. Let's just say that I am not in a people mood today. Let us also say that today is another one of my depressing days. It is so difficult to get him out of my head. I gave him so much of myself, but I did not give him the true me. That part is untainted from his touch. But my heart has been tainted, bruised, and still in pain. When I think about my grandfathers last day, I think about him. That day I was already in a rotten mood. I installed sims and I had to uninstall all of them, all of my saved games were lost. Then my father called, and told me what happened. It was at that point that I knew what the next night would bring. For awhile, I continued to stay quiet and think,then the water began to pour. He came over and held me tight. That night I cried in bed, but not too much. I was nervous. But I knew that I had to stay strong. The next night, I cried myself to sleep. For an hour I cried, I had to calm myself down in order to go to sleep. But while I slept, he held me tight, a feeling that I miss. I felt safe. Even though my grandfather had passed on, I felt that at least I had someone that loved me. Why, why did I fool myself? I miss that feeling of safety. That was the first time I ever truly felt safe. This past year was hard. Every night I came home from a hard day of school only to hear constant yells. So yes, I was happy when I got into a relationship, because I felt safe. I was able to forget about all of my problems at home while with him. I can't forget the many good times we had. Sunset at the beach, staring at the stars, having him at graduation, and spending time with him. I gave him myself but he did not see that. It hurts so much. My friends do not understand. It was only 3 months, why am I so bummed out? Well, I gave him my heart, and I fell, hard.
People can't stand it, I should just get over him, but our case was special. Even today, I went to play WoW, and I saw that he took his character off. That hurt, he went on to my account and took his off. Even without him being here, he still hurts me. Every hurt in unconscious though. Because I am too sensitive. Well that is me, but I guess being me isn't right. I do not know anymore.
I do not know anything anymore. I only know pain, I only know what I feel. Now I feel pain, and lonely. My friend is away, she will be busy, and I will be unable to speak to her. But that's just what I feel. My opinions. And yes, they are depressed.
Such is life, and it stinks. Might as well go to sleep, zonked.