TM FF: why I hate toasters
Title: Why I hate toasters
Author:T'PeeJ
Characters/Pairing: Cain, DG, Glitch, Raw and Zero
Rating:PG on account of
Summary: Zero is brought in and DG realizes why she didn't like him even before he tried to kill her.
Disclaimer:I don't own Tin Man, other people do and I'm just having some fun with them, I swear.
Word Count:1124
Thanks to
erinm_4600 for beta'ing for me and encouraging me to write.
DG was being lead down to the holding cells by Cain. Glitch and Raw were bring up the rear. The royal guards had brought in Zero. The four were on the way down to see how he liked being on the other side of the cell.
“You guys, the one thing I miss from the Other Side is my TV and DVD player,” commented DG. “I had a great collection of DVD's. I had everything. Sci-Fi, comedies, horror, chick flicks and of course musicals.”
“What is a DVD, doll?” asked Glitch.
“Well,” said DG as she stayed right by Cain's side. “It's this round plastic thing that you can watch movies, TV shows and your own home movies. You can also listen to music.” The Princess started to laugh. “I can see Glitch singing along with 'The Little Mermaid' and '1776'. It would be so much fun.” DG stopped in her tracks, Raw walked right into her.
“DG alright?” asked Raw.
“Toaster!” yelled the Princess. “I can't believe it took me so long to figure it out.”
“To figure what out?” asked Cain.
“When I first came over here and saw Zero for the first time, I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him. I couldn't figure out why. It's beside the point he was trying to kill me.”
“And?” asked Cain. She was off on one her tangents again, but now he had to find out what this was all about.
“Oh sorry,” said DG. “There is this show on TV called Battlestar Galatica. It's a sci-fi show.”
“Sci-Fi show?” commented Glitch. All three men looked like she finally lost them all in her Other Side talk.
“Sorry, it's short cut for Science Fiction. It's normally about people in Outer space. Traveling in the stars,” said DG.
“Why would anyone want to go to outer space?” asked Glitch. “There is no way from the to breath.”
The other looked at the advisor. He hadn't the surgery yet to put his mind back together, but something was kicking into gear with him.
DG started to laugh. “Yes that is true, Glitch, but they would build starship to travel into space.”
“Oh,” said Glitch. That made sense, he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before.
“Any way,” said DG. “there are two groups on the show, humans and Cylons. The Cylons are this mechanical race. Within them there are two groups, the all out mechanical ones and the ones that look humans. Zero looks like one of the human Cylons. It just dawned on me.” Looking up at her three friends. She smiled a bright smile.
DG what is it?” asked Raw.
“I've just realized that I've seen you guys on the other side movies or TV too.” She looked at Cain and Glitch.
“Really?” asked Glitch. “There is someone over there as handsome as me?”
DG laughed and touched Glitches shoulder, “Yes there is. My favorite one is when you are all blue.”
“what made me sad?” asked the Zipperhead.
That made DG laugh even more. “No you weren't sad. You were the color blue and you had a tail.”
The three men looked at DG like she had lost her mind. That made her laugh even more. She started to walk again. She had to see Zero. She was going to give him such a piece of her mind.
“You were Nightcrawler in X-Men movie. You were very German and you could teleported. Never had to walk anywhere! As long as knew where you were going, you would pop there. Nightcrawler is a big damn hero. I think I remember you being a bad guy a couple of times too, in Annie. The second one with Kathy Bates. I know you were a minister in Emma.”
The look on Glitches was priceless. Where was Master card when you needed them to make a commercial?
“DG what about me?” asked Raw.
Well I've seen you playing a Native American. That is a good thing. When I was a kid and we played cowboys and Indians. No one ever wanted to be a cowboy. We all played Indians. So we never got killed off. I've also seen you dancing with a lady in an open field. Just the two of you, listening to the tune in your own heads.”
Cain moved closer to DG and leaned in to whisper, “You are a good friend, but a terrible lier!”
“Well I could have seen someone over there that looked like him if we knew what he looked like under all the fur.”
Cain started to laugh. DG still liked the sound of that.
The four of them stopped in front of Zero's cell.
“There you are you rat bastard,” scolded DG. “Besides trying to kill me, I don't like you cuz you were a toaster on the other side and you played the fake Ray on Due South.” DG raised her hand it started to glow and Zero went flying across the cell.
“The fake Ray,” mumbled Zero. “what the hell are you going on about?” Zero rubbed the back of his head where it hit the wall.
“You, Cain are the coolest one though,” said DG as she turned back to her friends.
“Why is that?” asked Cain and he was pretty sure he would be sorry for asking.
“You were in Starfleet!” answered DG as she bounced on her feet.
“What is Starfleet?” asked Glitch.
“Oh how much time do you have?” Asked DG with a laugh. “Starfleet is an organization set in Star Trek universe. Trust me when I say, nothing cooler in the world then Star Trek! You served on Enterprise E with Captain Jean-Luc Picard! YES!!!! Of course you were the red shirt, but you did get to play with the big boys before you were turned into a Borg.”
“Red Shirt? Turned into Borg? What does that mean?” asked Cain.
“Sorry,” said DG. “In the original series, security wore red shirts. They were the ones to die in the esp. This was the standard for the other four shows to follow even if no one was actually really wearing the red shirts any more. The Borg are bad guys, except for Seven of Nine. They were part machine and part humanoid. You would be brought into the collective kicking and screaming. They didn't really care about that. Don't worry about it. I'll draw you up some pictures, so you see what I'm talking about.”
“Wait,” called out Zero as the group turned to leave. DG stopped and looked at him. “What is a Toaster?”
She smiled at him, “a bad name for a bad person!” The other three just laughed.