Oscar Films for 2016: Mad Max: Fury Road
In the beginning, there was some hairy white guy in a canyon, muttering to himself and meditating on the voices in his head. And why wouldn't he be seeking solace in the belly of the canyon (does this canyon look like the inside of a person's colon to you too?). The voices in his head are ranting about oil and Oil and OIL and then there is a nuclear accident going off in a forest (maybe that turned everything into the insides of a person's colon). About that nuclear accident in the forest---didn't the nuclear accident at Chernobyl turn a forest RED? But there are no red trees in the hairy guy's canyon, just red sand.
Our muttering, meditating guy is not really meditating, he is eating lizards---ALIVE AND RAW! The lizards don't look red to me. Even when he is eating them---no red blood. Do lizards have red blood? I had a little lizard once. It was bound to me by its tail tied with string and the string was tied to a safety pin that was pinned on my shirt. But that sneaky lizard threw off its tail and ran away from me! No blood on my shirt, just a discarded tail. I was rejected by a lizard which is much worse than being haunted by a strange little girl with pale blue eyes. Let's just say, that I did not regret the lizard-eating by our Hero: Mad Muttering Meditating Hippie Max.
Mad Max gets run down by a bunch of wild and crazy white (and I do mean White, as in white lead paint and make up White) guys who resent his hippie life and hair and fix him up just fine. They drag him to their Lair, and that is one big White Guy Worm Lair where they live. The White Worm Guys cut off that Hippie Hair and tatoo him up with their own lifestyle definitions: he is O type Negative blood that means that he is a Universal Blood Donor and they add further tatoo'ed instructions about his body parts. I think that Mad Max is going to become a Universal Donor of Blood and Body Parts (kind of like my lizard).
The Weird Little Girl and Mad (a Hippie No More) Max object to this new direction in his life and Mad Max escapes from the Lair of the White Worm Guys and their leader who might be a White Leper Worm, who knows?
Meanwhile, Charlize Theron is a Oil Truck Driver for the White Worms Guys and she is readying up her tanker to head for, I was going to say the hills, but there are no hill and no eyes in them. Charlize is missing a left arm. I am thinking that like my lizard, she woke up one morning or night with her left arm under one of these White Worm Guys, or their leader, and chewed off her arm to get away from them. She has since eschewed sex with White Worm Guys or any Guys.
Charlize has not only loaded up her tanker with the evil OIL, but she has also secreted away four or five young ladies who are the Haram (or let's call it what it is) the Brood Mare Herd of the White Worm Leper Oligarch. Charlize and the ladies are making their run for Freedom!!! from Religious Fundamentalism, Misgyony, Creepy Stalker Guys, and filmsy white polyester clothing in one hell hot desert canyon.
Max didn't really escape the White Worm Leper Guy and his Maggots, they caught him and put him on the front of one of their chase vehicles as a car hood ornament (take that BMW) as they pursue Charlize and the Ladies.
There are a bunch of chases and crashes and cars going where they don't fit in (like people) and Max escapes the White Worm Guys, he has a tan after all, and joins up with Charlize and the Freedom Riding Ladies, because what else is he going to do? Walk the Canyon?
And the Chase which was on before all this happened is back on again.
This movie is a Chase movie, but it is a fun chase movie. We all know what is going to happen in the end, we just don't know how many people are going to die before we get to the end of the road. Plus, it is an adventure chase movie that is Green (environmental), Feminist, Anti-OIL, Anti-Oligarch, and Anti-Fascist. A spoonful of good trash car chase makes the progressive agenda go down in a rip-roaring way.
Recommended. And worth a nomination for Best Picture.
Our muttering, meditating guy is not really meditating, he is eating lizards---ALIVE AND RAW! The lizards don't look red to me. Even when he is eating them---no red blood. Do lizards have red blood? I had a little lizard once. It was bound to me by its tail tied with string and the string was tied to a safety pin that was pinned on my shirt. But that sneaky lizard threw off its tail and ran away from me! No blood on my shirt, just a discarded tail. I was rejected by a lizard which is much worse than being haunted by a strange little girl with pale blue eyes. Let's just say, that I did not regret the lizard-eating by our Hero: Mad Muttering Meditating Hippie Max.
Mad Max gets run down by a bunch of wild and crazy white (and I do mean White, as in white lead paint and make up White) guys who resent his hippie life and hair and fix him up just fine. They drag him to their Lair, and that is one big White Guy Worm Lair where they live. The White Worm Guys cut off that Hippie Hair and tatoo him up with their own lifestyle definitions: he is O type Negative blood that means that he is a Universal Blood Donor and they add further tatoo'ed instructions about his body parts. I think that Mad Max is going to become a Universal Donor of Blood and Body Parts (kind of like my lizard).
The Weird Little Girl and Mad (a Hippie No More) Max object to this new direction in his life and Mad Max escapes from the Lair of the White Worm Guys and their leader who might be a White Leper Worm, who knows?
Meanwhile, Charlize Theron is a Oil Truck Driver for the White Worms Guys and she is readying up her tanker to head for, I was going to say the hills, but there are no hill and no eyes in them. Charlize is missing a left arm. I am thinking that like my lizard, she woke up one morning or night with her left arm under one of these White Worm Guys, or their leader, and chewed off her arm to get away from them. She has since eschewed sex with White Worm Guys or any Guys.
Charlize has not only loaded up her tanker with the evil OIL, but she has also secreted away four or five young ladies who are the Haram (or let's call it what it is) the Brood Mare Herd of the White Worm Leper Oligarch. Charlize and the ladies are making their run for Freedom!!! from Religious Fundamentalism, Misgyony, Creepy Stalker Guys, and filmsy white polyester clothing in one hell hot desert canyon.
Max didn't really escape the White Worm Leper Guy and his Maggots, they caught him and put him on the front of one of their chase vehicles as a car hood ornament (take that BMW) as they pursue Charlize and the Ladies.
There are a bunch of chases and crashes and cars going where they don't fit in (like people) and Max escapes the White Worm Guys, he has a tan after all, and joins up with Charlize and the Freedom Riding Ladies, because what else is he going to do? Walk the Canyon?
And the Chase which was on before all this happened is back on again.
This movie is a Chase movie, but it is a fun chase movie. We all know what is going to happen in the end, we just don't know how many people are going to die before we get to the end of the road. Plus, it is an adventure chase movie that is Green (environmental), Feminist, Anti-OIL, Anti-Oligarch, and Anti-Fascist. A spoonful of good trash car chase makes the progressive agenda go down in a rip-roaring way.
Recommended. And worth a nomination for Best Picture.