What I Saw: Game of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 3, Stop the Insanity Sansa!
We hear the sad, sad, commonplace story that Brienne was a Wall Flower at her own Prom.
Well, Brienne, Pod is always a squire, never a knight.
And some of us never even went to the Prom. Cry me a River.
And another Sad Sad story of the parting of a girl and her sword. But she doesn't part with it. She lies to the authorities and hides it from harm. Can't part a Girl and her Gun Sword, or so the NRA Westeros Sword Wielders (WSW) would have you believe.
Or was Arya thinking of Jon Snow who gave her that sword? Does he ever think of her? Between beheadings and fights at the Wall and beyond? I don't think so.
IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!
Dr. Frank's Monster is alive! Or maybe there is just a big rat under that sheet. A Big Rat called THE MOUNTAIN!
And now for the Really Sad Story of Sansa
Sansa Stark
Sansa Stark
Riding through the Moops Moors!
Sansa Stark
Sansa Stark
Kicking down the Doors
Of Winterfell!
Rescuing the Weak!
Ignoring the Reek!
Sansa Stark
Sansa Stark
On a White Horse!
Or is it a pale horse and a impaled Rider?
Let us pause and compare Queen Margaery and Lady Sansa:
- Margaery has been married three times. Once to Renly who didn't make her a Queen. Once to King Joffery who made her a Queen but then died conveniently at the Wedding fete. And now to King Tommen who made her a Queen again. A twice crowned Queen.
- Lady Stark has almost been married three times. Once to Joffery who was engaged to her and then abused her. Once to Tyrion who ignored her. And now to Ramsay Bolton who, I don't even want to think about it.
- Queen Margaery wants to get rid of her Mother-in-Law, Old Queen Cersei.
- Lady Stark wants to get rid of Roose Bolton who killed her brother (and her mother, does no one remember that?)
Queen Margaery is happy! She got what she wanted! To Be Queen! The King part doesn't really matter much to her.
Lady Sansa is back home! At Winterfell! Where she doesn't want to be. She acts happy but she isn't. Why would she be happy? She is marrying Moe of the Three Stooges.
Oh come on! Like you didn't notice the resemblance?
And then there are the other Stooges,
Both of the Curlys are included.
Oh boy! Is Sansa going to have fun. With all the pokings and slappings and proddings of her new family, the Bolton Stooges! They will just flay slay her.
This was all foreshadowed. Winterfell becomes Wuthering Heights and Sansa becomes Cathy. I don't know who the hell is Heathcliff. Jon Snow does the best Heathcliff type brooding, but he is at the wall asserting his authority.
So now the Lady Sansa Death Watch begins. Which episode will bring her death by the Stooges?
- Episode 4: Sansa falls off her horsie and Ramsay flays the horsie. Will this change the Bolton crest? Has Ramsay Finally gone too far?
- Episode 5: Sansa is done in by the Reek of Reek.
- Episode 6: Sansa goes hunting flowers in the Keep's backyard and becomes THE HUNTED! But Winterfell is Haunted! So who knows what really happens?
- Episode 7: Sansa has always lived in the castle. She goes picking mushrooms for dinner. And everyone gets high! And some of them go tripping and fall off the tower that crippled Bran! Some of them just drool at the table and say inane things to each other. This is another episode of "Who Knows What Really Happened?"
- Episode 8: Sansa isn't in this episode, so we expect the worse.
- Episode 9: Some one is scalping the inhabitants of Winterfell! Sansa decides to change her hair back to RED! Roose Bolton becomes Lady Macbeth and tries to make the green one, RED! The Stooges make leis out of the red leaves of the old trees in the Winterfell tree garden. Bran maybe shows up or it could be Hodor. Who knows? Some headless guy roams the Keep's grounds. "Ned? Is that You?"
- Episode 10: Sansa is still alive? How the hell did that happen?
Can't keep Tyrion from Pissing off any available wall.
I am watching the show to see Danys' boyfriends' butts, not hers.
Screen caps by moi.