Golden Globe Fashion Fêtes
Oh Look! It's Cher at the Golden Globes!
Oh no, wait a minute....
It's Halle Berry PRETENDING to be Cher at the Golden Globes! I see, she is practicing her technique for when she pretends to be Aretha Franklin in her next movie. From Dorothy Dandridge to Aretha Franklin---yep! That's Acting!
And I love Aretha Franklin (and good health to her---what was her medical problem? Gall Bladder? Appendix? Sciatica?) and Miss Franklin is a fine looking lady, but her looks never attracted one's attention the way her magnificent voice did. Miss Berry is Looks---All Looks. Miss Berry is cast to play Miss Franklin? Well, someone dig up Ava Gardner and let her play me.
And "Howdy there Hot James Mason"!
Pandora and the Flying Dutchman is on U Tube, watch it some time. I cannot believe how beautiful Miss Gardner is in Technicolor. Just Unbelievably beautiful.
The movie is sort of bad trash but it is Beautiful. And Miss Gardner is unworldly beautiful in it. She's sort of like Tom Welling on a good hair and not Season 6 Fat day.
It was the Golden Globes, but some ladies wore Green.
Elizabeth Moss of Mad Men wore green. The wrong color green for her skin tone. And her green dress must have gotten wet because it went all crinkly. Oh now I get it. MOSS is green and that shade of green and that is why Miss Moss wore the dress. It is a visual PUN. OK, that's a a Pass, Miss Moss. Well, not that kind of Pass, so don't get your hopes up.
Angelina Jolie wore green, too. It was the wrong green and too much of it for her skin tone. Look at Miss Gardner's earrings, Miss Jolie, if you want to know how to wear that shade of green.
Miss Mila Kunis attempted a green dress. The green became her. She got caught in the same rain storm that Miss Moss did and her dress got all crinkly, too. But Miss Kunis is not clever, unless Kunis means Moss or Seaweed in Russian.
Miss Catherine Zeta Jones wore a wet green dress too. Very Nice. You have good taste, Miss Zeta Jones, in green dresses. The old guy with you is questionable.
Miss Zeta Jones, you should have accessorized with this gentleman. He always looks good on a lady's arm. With or Without Tux.
Pardon me, my attention wandered.
Now it is back on Mr. Bomer.
A good looking, sharp dressed man in a Tux. Mr. Jean Louis looked beguiling. And his Tux had no lapels. Hmmm, gotta reach inside the coat to hang on to him.
Mr. Jon Hamm wore a Blue Tux with lapels, but that is not what a lady would grab to hang on to Mr. Hamm. Hanging and Hamm.
I do feel a mite peckish, yes indeed.
And there is my Pretend Husband, Mr. James Franco. So modest! Don't hide, Honey! My Lover, Mr. Elba, did not attend the Golden Globes.
Some body has to stay home and polish the Golden Globes.
Miss Diane Warren wore a Tux with Lapels. She can't Live Without Them.
Best movie Nicholas Cage was ever in after Valley Girl.
I appreciate a woman who knows what she likes and is comfortable in and wears it. I just wish Miss Temple Grandin would have brought a cow or a horse with her. Or Trigger!
Trigger was a good looking blonde, and a good looking blonde is always welcome on the red carpet in Hollywood. And in one of Kelsey Grammar's marriages. Though, they don't have to be that good looking for Mr. Grammar.
Why the Hell is Miss Natalie Portman dressed like this?
Shouldn't she be wearing this?
Miss Portman has NO sense of Style. Thank God for Bjork.
And Thank God for Miss Helena Bonham Carter.
Oh Wait! I was going to name her Best Dressed for the night, but now I can't. She put her shoes on the wrong feet. I think that one should actually put their clothes on properly to win the Honor of Best Dressed. One must Wear the Clothes and Walk the Walk with the right shoe on the right foot to win the Honor. Sorry, Miss Bonham Carter, so close and yet so Shoe Crossed!
Miss Julianne Moore also lost out on the Best Dressed Honor. Call me Old Fashioned, but I truly believe that the dress that one wears on the red carpet should actually be SEWN, as in cut out material and the use of a sewing machine and/or thread and needle to hold it together. This just-draping a bolt of fabric on a body and then taping and stapling it to the body does not qualify.
Just ask all my Barbies who wore my tissue designed dresses to their balls and lost those dresses at the ball. My Barbies might have lost their Virginity too, but Ken had no balls or a penis, so that was never a worry.
So let us see who is in the running for the Honor of BD:
Miss Krya Sedgewick---great color and great jewelry. The dress cut is fairly ordinary.
I don't give a flying fart about the dress. Miss Amber Riley has the prettiest smile in Hollywood and that is all she needs to wear to be Best Dressed.
Miss Gabourey Sidibe---Good Color and another case of Great Smile.
Miss Olivia Wilde---this dress is a constellation dress. It reminds me of the Planetarium and I love the Planetarium.
Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt---who doesn't look at this dress and think of this?
And she's is there to remind everyone of her two talents, now isn't she?
Here's a Lady with another kind of two talents
Miss Jennifer Lopez---Normally, I would say conventional and therefore boring, but this transcends that. Even with my finely developed taste for unusual, I have to say that this is usual, but nice. Very Nice and Strangely Not Boring.
Oh no, wait a minute....
It's Halle Berry PRETENDING to be Cher at the Golden Globes! I see, she is practicing her technique for when she pretends to be Aretha Franklin in her next movie. From Dorothy Dandridge to Aretha Franklin---yep! That's Acting!
And I love Aretha Franklin (and good health to her---what was her medical problem? Gall Bladder? Appendix? Sciatica?) and Miss Franklin is a fine looking lady, but her looks never attracted one's attention the way her magnificent voice did. Miss Berry is Looks---All Looks. Miss Berry is cast to play Miss Franklin? Well, someone dig up Ava Gardner and let her play me.
And "Howdy there Hot James Mason"!
Pandora and the Flying Dutchman is on U Tube, watch it some time. I cannot believe how beautiful Miss Gardner is in Technicolor. Just Unbelievably beautiful.
Click to viewThe movie is sort of bad trash but it is Beautiful. And Miss Gardner is unworldly beautiful in it. She's sort of like Tom Welling on a good hair and not Season 6 Fat day.
It was the Golden Globes, but some ladies wore Green.
Elizabeth Moss of Mad Men wore green. The wrong color green for her skin tone. And her green dress must have gotten wet because it went all crinkly. Oh now I get it. MOSS is green and that shade of green and that is why Miss Moss wore the dress. It is a visual PUN. OK, that's a a Pass, Miss Moss. Well, not that kind of Pass, so don't get your hopes up.
Angelina Jolie wore green, too. It was the wrong green and too much of it for her skin tone. Look at Miss Gardner's earrings, Miss Jolie, if you want to know how to wear that shade of green.
Miss Mila Kunis attempted a green dress. The green became her. She got caught in the same rain storm that Miss Moss did and her dress got all crinkly, too. But Miss Kunis is not clever, unless Kunis means Moss or Seaweed in Russian.
Miss Catherine Zeta Jones wore a wet green dress too. Very Nice. You have good taste, Miss Zeta Jones, in green dresses. The old guy with you is questionable.
Miss Zeta Jones, you should have accessorized with this gentleman. He always looks good on a lady's arm. With or Without Tux.
Pardon me, my attention wandered.
Now it is back on Mr. Bomer.
A good looking, sharp dressed man in a Tux. Mr. Jean Louis looked beguiling. And his Tux had no lapels. Hmmm, gotta reach inside the coat to hang on to him.
Mr. Jon Hamm wore a Blue Tux with lapels, but that is not what a lady would grab to hang on to Mr. Hamm. Hanging and Hamm.
I do feel a mite peckish, yes indeed.
And there is my Pretend Husband, Mr. James Franco. So modest! Don't hide, Honey! My Lover, Mr. Elba, did not attend the Golden Globes.
Some body has to stay home and polish the Golden Globes.
Miss Diane Warren wore a Tux with Lapels. She can't Live Without Them.
Best movie Nicholas Cage was ever in after Valley Girl.
I appreciate a woman who knows what she likes and is comfortable in and wears it. I just wish Miss Temple Grandin would have brought a cow or a horse with her. Or Trigger!
Trigger was a good looking blonde, and a good looking blonde is always welcome on the red carpet in Hollywood. And in one of Kelsey Grammar's marriages. Though, they don't have to be that good looking for Mr. Grammar.
Why the Hell is Miss Natalie Portman dressed like this?
Shouldn't she be wearing this?
Miss Portman has NO sense of Style. Thank God for Bjork.
And Thank God for Miss Helena Bonham Carter.
Oh Wait! I was going to name her Best Dressed for the night, but now I can't. She put her shoes on the wrong feet. I think that one should actually put their clothes on properly to win the Honor of Best Dressed. One must Wear the Clothes and Walk the Walk with the right shoe on the right foot to win the Honor. Sorry, Miss Bonham Carter, so close and yet so Shoe Crossed!
Miss Julianne Moore also lost out on the Best Dressed Honor. Call me Old Fashioned, but I truly believe that the dress that one wears on the red carpet should actually be SEWN, as in cut out material and the use of a sewing machine and/or thread and needle to hold it together. This just-draping a bolt of fabric on a body and then taping and stapling it to the body does not qualify.
Just ask all my Barbies who wore my tissue designed dresses to their balls and lost those dresses at the ball. My Barbies might have lost their Virginity too, but Ken had no balls or a penis, so that was never a worry.
So let us see who is in the running for the Honor of BD:
Miss Krya Sedgewick---great color and great jewelry. The dress cut is fairly ordinary.
I don't give a flying fart about the dress. Miss Amber Riley has the prettiest smile in Hollywood and that is all she needs to wear to be Best Dressed.
Miss Gabourey Sidibe---Good Color and another case of Great Smile.
Miss Olivia Wilde---this dress is a constellation dress. It reminds me of the Planetarium and I love the Planetarium.
Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt---who doesn't look at this dress and think of this?
And she's is there to remind everyone of her two talents, now isn't she?
Here's a Lady with another kind of two talents
Miss Jennifer Lopez---Normally, I would say conventional and therefore boring, but this transcends that. Even with my finely developed taste for unusual, I have to say that this is usual, but nice. Very Nice and Strangely Not Boring.