Smallville: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Luthor
Well, we know that Tess Mercer is a Luthor.
Tess was born of one Lionel Luthor and some breed which makes her a half-breed. Lionel Luthor said so. Lionel also called her a whore. Lionel knows a lot of whores and some of those whores aren't selling sex for money. They sell other things for money.
Tess is the only Luthor left standing, if you don't count LX15 or Alexander who escaped Cadmus Labs and is standing around somewhere, I suppose. The Traveller is all hers when Lois lets her have him.
All Your Veritas Base Are Belong to Tess.
She received one of those turning cylinder puzzle things from Lex's estate. It looks like that turning puzzle cylinder thing that Lionel left for Clark in his safe after his unfortunate fall from his office on the 66th floor of the Luthor Corp building in Metropolis.
Lionel and his turning puzzle things and Jor El and his phallic crystals. Both men liked a good hand job, they just preferred different techniques and implements.
And there you go, proof positive that Clark is Jor El's genetic son. He likes those hand jobs too. Hey, why did Clark twist the cock the cylinder? Did Clark Luthor make him do it?
That cylinder puzzle thing of Tess's reminds me of that orb that Tess found and used to release Zod.
Tess likes a good hand job too.
And speaking of Tess's preferences, have I not said before, that Tess is using Watchtower to keep track of her Secret Lady Love, Lois Lane?
I Knew It! I was right! I am always right.
My next prediction? Menage à Trois! You heard that from me.
Once again, I am proven Right!
Tess can't stop spying on Lois and Clark. And Lois can't keep her hands to herself.
Or out of the Karma Cookie Jar. And now we know why Clark just has to have her for his main squeeze.
You Can't Keep a Bad Man Down
Lionel Luthor is Back!
Sure Lex tossed him out of the window Lionel had an unfortunate accident in this world. But Lionel was alive in the Black and White World and running things just like he always did.
You can't kidnap a girl and leave her on a roof top without the Luthor name staring you in the face.
You can't fly over Metropolis without being informed of whose town it is. Hey, I just wondered, could Clark Luthor fly? He did jump through the sun window of Watchtower.
You can't friggin' root through garbage in the slums of Metropolis without acknowledging whose garbage you are rootin' through.
Even Clark Luthor has Lionel Luthor's brand on him.
If I didn't know better, I would think that Lionel Luthor was a megalomanic, self-aggrandizing sociopath with a narcissistic personality disorder.
Nah, that's not my Lionel Luthor. He is just misunderstood.
Like Lex.
Lionel in the Black and White World was standing a little too close to that 66th office window for my comfort.
I just knew something was going to happen.
And it did. Only Tess didn't push Lionel out of the window. She slapped him.
Not the same thing, but Lionel did have the same look on his face when he rushed to meet the pavement after his little disagreement with Lex.
But this time, Tess Luthor, his Prodigal Daughter (where's Lucas?), gets carted off by men with a wagon. Lionel lives another day to upbraid his other son, Clark Luthor.
Lionel upbraids Clark and then he beats upbraids him some more.
Who was scarier? Lionel Luthor? Or Titan?
I don't think that Titan had a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Clark is thinking that this is like Excelsior School when Ollie gave up kicking the shit out of Lex by day to take up snuggling with Clark Luthor by night in the dark dorm room.
Whose Love Bite is that on Ollie's cheek? Lex's or Clark's?
Those are nice hydrangeas behind Clark. You do know, that depending upon the acidity of the soil in which hydrangeas are raised, that they can be either blue or pink?
Hey, are those flowers on Clark Luthor's shirt?
Wait for Lionel, he is coming!
Clark and Tess's Relationship
Clark and Tess have always had a sort of masochistic/sadist thing going on.
Clark manhandles Tess, and she likes it.
She might even want a little more.
But she gives it back. Nice whip, Tess. Do you always keep it by the bed?
And in addition to the horseplay between Tess and Clark, there is gun play, too.
Do you notice? Lois's Green Kryptonite is in the shape of a heart. But Her Heart is not in it.
The Two Metropolises
Here is Bad Metropolis.
It has Luthor Graffiti all over it.
Here is Good Metropolis.
No Luthor Graffiti. They have got the Real Thing, Lionel Luthor. It will be Dark Days ahead.
Les Parapluies de Metropolis.
Most Screen Caps by Me
A Few Screen Caps from homeofthenutty