Watching TV: Sarah Silverman, Aussie Master Chef, and Xena
When I'm working on the laptop, sometimes I like to have some white noise in the background, so I keep some streaming TV shows playing in a background window. When it sounds interesting and I need some distraction, I will stop and watch the show.
And these are some of the shows that I have seen in the past month or so.
Food Shows
I love food shows, except for anything that has Gordon Ramsay in it. F**k Off Gordon Ramsay. What an abysmally ugly man!
I understand that he supposedly brings DRAMA to a show with his DRAMA QUEEN ways, but he just brings the UGLY. I will not watch or listen to a show with him in it. And what the hell is it with RISOTTO? His obsession with RISOTTO compares to his maggoty language and soul. That is my opinion.
Maggots
RISOTTO
Gordon Ramsay
You see? There is absolutely NO Difference among the three. Same Things.
And now that I have put all of us off our feed, let us move on to some Amuse Bouche Food Shows.
In a total counterpoint to GR, the GRoss Out of Food Stars, there is the Australian Master Chef Program. What lovely, kind and gentle and well wishing people there are on this show! The contestants shout help and instructions and encouragement to other contestants who have fallen short in the Taste and Food Fashion cooking tests and who must cook off to stay in the show. The Hosts come by during the cooking and taste and offer their own advice and encouragement. This show is not about breaking the egg egos of its contestants; it is about making the perfect soufflé of its contestants.
There are jovial Master Classes for the contestants and Field Trips like the ones that you took in school where you looked at cool stuff until you got bored and then hung back and made your own entertainment on how much kiosk candy that you could stuff in your face or in the temple monkey's greedy little hand. This show is a Fun Competitive Show. And no one is being humiliated or degraded no matter how lousy a day that they are having or how badly the food turned out. And when the contestants do break down and cry, one of the hosts or another contestant is there, comforting them in their misery and then exhorting them to gather themselves together and go out there and do their best.
If this is what Australians are like, then I like them. The world should have more of them in it.
The only problem that I have with the show is exactly how long did this show last? They were streaming episodes non-stop for a week when I saw it. Is this show on three times a week for 52 weeks? Some of the contestants had children and families, and that is a long time to be away from them. I thought that we would never get a winner for this show. I liked everyone, but nothing lasts forever. That is unnatural.
What is it with Curries and Thai Food? Granted, I don't care much for either, but everything was a curry or had Fish Sauce in it, even the desserts. My stomach was churning just like it did when I used to eat some Thai Food before I gave it up (it was the feeling of steel tipped boots pummeling my stomach that made me realize that I could never eat Thai Food again, I was beaten into Gordon Ramsay bullied submission). One of my favorite contestants, an ever cheerful Marion, was making Prawn Rice Pudding with Deep Fried Mangos in Scotch Bonnet Beer Batter for dessert. And the Judges LIKED it. Me, I was wondering, what the hell happened to a nice fruit cobbler with vanilla ice cream or some banana bread?
There is some god awful looking fruit that the contestants were dripping around their Pavlovas that looked like boogers. What was that?
Passion Fruit.
How does that fruit pass the Food Fashion Test? Unless they are looking for Grunge Food.
British Food Shows
There is a contrast between the contestants on the Brit Food Shows and the Aussie Food Shows. The Aussies are eager strivers, but they are never lost to human optimism. The Brits all seem to be so beaten down. Their faces go blank with pain when they receive criticism and they have the look of a Buckingham Guard on their faces but with no fur hat on their heads. The Brits seem to expect a kick in the kidneys on these shows.
And speaking of kidneys, the Brits cook and eat them. A little kidney and some broccoli and some eau de ammonia, and there is a treat that brings back memories of a frat house beer binge and the smell of a dark alley pissed against wall.
The Brits are also keen on Curries, even keener than the Aussies. And the Brits call dessert, "Puddings", even when it isn't a Pudding. And where the hell is that most lovely of all British Desserts, excuse me "Puddings", the Trifle on their cooking shows? I love Trifles, even with Fish Sauce Drizzled on it or a Curry Custard in it. Well, I've never tasted a Trifle like that, but I would give it a try. I do love my Trifles.
There is a British Chef named Heston Blumenthal who cooks or freezes with Liquid Nitrogen and a wild imagination.
He makes Theme Feasts such as a Fairy Tale Feast where dessert is a life sized Candy House that his guest can eat and sit in. One course is a magic egg that evaporates to leave three magic beans that are kidneys coated in chocolate (I told you, Brits and Kidneys, it's almost an metonymy). He had a Willy Wonka Feast with a real chocolate fountain and river with creek pebbles that the guest could eat. Mr. Blumenthal needs to invite me for dinner, just no Curries when I come.
Sarah Sliverman Surprises Me
I never much cared one way or the other for Sarah Silverman. I saw her Jesus Is Magic Show and enjoyed some of it. Some of it, I just found tiring and clichéd.
I thought that Miss Silverman was a pretty and more pleasant version of Sandra Bernhard, but minus the nasty edge of overwhelming ego and spite that makes Miss Bernhard so difficult to watch and appreciate. This is an interview with Miss Bernhard on the Howard Stern show where she proclaims herself to be so much better and more intellectual than the likes of her similar comediennes such as Kathy Griffin and Joan Rivers. But she isn't. She is just more pretentious and full of herself than either of those funnier ladies. Though I give her credit for avoiding those ladies' plastic surgeons.
I recently saw the second season of Miss Silverman's recently cancelled show, The Sarah Silverman Program, and I enjoyed it. The grating edge from her movie is off her TV show. She goes with the typical Sitcom situation where the heroine learns a Great Life Lesson and then goes back to the Same Old Same Old so that she can learn another Great Life Lesson that doesn't matter in the long run of Existential Absurdities and Life. The Plots and Themes are taken to Monty Python and Kentucky Fried Chicken Stretches of Idiocy and Arrested Development convolutions.
Sarah dates God and takes him to her High School Reunion so that she can impress the Cheerleaders and the Kool Kids. But you know God, he can be controlling, so they break up.
Sarah gets into an argument with a Black Guy in a diner about who had it worse, the Blacks or the Jews, and they change places for a day. Sarah paints her face blackface (just the face) and faces rejection by everyone, those who are offended by her blackface routine and those who approve of it. She ends up in the Hospital after being rightfully shot for her attempt to generate more pity for herself (there was never a chance that she was actually trying to empathize with any African Americans) and looking and sounding like Hitler. It is as if Buster Bluth had stopped trying to fade into the background of his perilous family and tried to out muscle and out offend Lucille Bluth, his mother.
I hope to catch Seasons 1 and 3 of this show. I might even buy the DVD if it ever comes out.
Xena!
I really didn't watch much of Xena when it was on its first TV run. It was too cheesy for me (and I like Gladiator movies and TV) and Lucy Lawless's clenched teeth style of acting made me laugh and then irritated me. But I've seen a few episodes of various seasons, the person streaming them calls them SUBTEXT episodes of Xena, I don't know what that means. I like the Ares episodes of Xena. Kevin Smith is or was as good looking as Tom Welling.
Kevin Smith. Ignore Imaginary Me in this picture. I'm just fixing his hair.
Tom Welling. Everyone wants to fix his hair.
After watching the SUBTEXT episodes, I begin to see a similarity between Xena and Supernatural.
Xena walks around with her Palomino Horse. Dean from SPN rides around in his Impala. Palomino⇔ Impala, Close enough.
Xena has Gabrielle and Joxer for her companions.
Dean has Sam and Castiel. Sam is the blonde. Castiel has wings but he doesn't wear them on his Face cheeks. They are more situated near his Butt cheeks.
Xena can kill the Gods. Dean can kill Gods and Angels.
Xena and Dean both were crucified.
Some things for me to think about as I don't look forward to Season 6 of SPN.
Tom Welling Pic by jeannev