Entry 238, Surwich
Dear Diary,
I awoke this morning with a clear head and no husband. The row Sandor and I had last night was... was probably one of our biggest, and I've sent him away. He told me he had no bastards, and then one comes all apologetic to our door step.
My age, and looks like him. Looks too damnably like Sandor to be anyone else's son. My fury, diary, could not be measured in words alone.
"If I'd known about the lad," he said, "I would've married her!" Well, good on you, chap, but you didn't marry her, you married me, and you lied! You lied to me about your bastards, and claim you didn't know! How couldn't you!?
This morning I woke and hoped it was all a terrible dream, turned to my left as is usual... and he wasn't there. His sheets were cold, his pillow unsullied.
I'm sure half of Surwich heard us shouting at each other. The children slept through it only because I made them. Because Jerald and Daniel needn't hear their mother having the row to end all rows with their former father.
I do not need him. I am a Kinsey. I can do anything I bloody well please and I will do it well, come hell or high water. I will not sob about where I will go, nor what I will do; the Light will provide me the strength I need to care for my children.
I do not think I will tell my father. Not yet. I... I know what he will say. He'll tell me I've made this bed and must lie in it. That marrying Sandor was wrong, all wrong. Of course, that's what he'll say.
Mother, watch over me. I need you.
I need him.
-S.
I awoke this morning with a clear head and no husband. The row Sandor and I had last night was... was probably one of our biggest, and I've sent him away. He told me he had no bastards, and then one comes all apologetic to our door step.
My age, and looks like him. Looks too damnably like Sandor to be anyone else's son. My fury, diary, could not be measured in words alone.
"If I'd known about the lad," he said, "I would've married her!" Well, good on you, chap, but you didn't marry her, you married me, and you lied! You lied to me about your bastards, and claim you didn't know! How couldn't you!?
This morning I woke and hoped it was all a terrible dream, turned to my left as is usual... and he wasn't there. His sheets were cold, his pillow unsullied.
I'm sure half of Surwich heard us shouting at each other. The children slept through it only because I made them. Because Jerald and Daniel needn't hear their mother having the row to end all rows with their former father.
I do not need him. I am a Kinsey. I can do anything I bloody well please and I will do it well, come hell or high water. I will not sob about where I will go, nor what I will do; the Light will provide me the strength I need to care for my children.
I do not think I will tell my father. Not yet. I... I know what he will say. He'll tell me I've made this bed and must lie in it. That marrying Sandor was wrong, all wrong. Of course, that's what he'll say.
Mother, watch over me. I need you.
I need him.
-S.