>Kanaya: Panic

[chastesaw]

[Phone]

*Kanaya's voice sounds as precise and collected as ever... for the most part. If someone knows her very, very well they might be able to hear that she's speaking slightly faster than normal.* Hello, everybody

Comments

[nolongeralpha]

So how many quadrants did you dance in while intoxicated? I was watching other people be stupid, so you gotta fill me in because you know, it's totally important to me or something.

[He didn't see any cops or dead bodies, so he's just gonna assume it was the usual stupid shit THAT IN NO WAY INVOLVES HUMANS, JUST TROLLS, CLEARLY]

[chastesaw]

I can assure you that I participated in no quadrant dances of any kind whatsoever in the entirety of the night and anyway that really was not even the main point of my missive to the town.

[nolongeralpha]

That's okay, it was the only part that wasn't boring.

I notice you didn't deny getting smashed, you might as well just admit you made out with someone you regret now.

[chastesaw]

I did not "make out" with anybody, so cease those thoughts immediately.

[nolongeralpha]

Nope, that is pretty much what any smashed teenager does unless they get in a fight and maybe even then. And I'm pretty sure I would have seen if you got in a brawl.

[chastesaw]

Is it really that difficult to imagine that I participated in neither of these traditional adolescent activities? Because I did not.

[nolongeralpha]

Why not? Pretty much all your other troll pals were and you totally got drunk.

[chastesaw]

Because I did not care to. It's quite simple.

[nolongeralpha]

Did you not care to, or did no one care to with you? Though, hell, even hipster-douchefuck troll got away with kissing fish-princess, so you would have to have like, 8-levels of hidden fucked-up to fall lower than that on the attractiveness scale.

[chastesaw]

...I'm sorry.

What did you say?

[nolongeralpha]

If you're trying to get me to admit I just implied you appear to be 7 levels higher on the attractiveness scale than a finny hipster douchebag, it ain't gonna happen.

[chastesaw]

No, before that.

About Eridan kissing Feferi. Elaborate, now.

[nolongeralpha]

Huh? Right, that's her name. [He mostly just recognized her as "that girl who was with Kanaya when they tried to kill him as a zombie". And hell if he knows eridan, he only recognized gray-skinned douchebag] She was drunk, he may or may not have been, then he kissed her. I dunno what else to say, I wasn't exactly writing a report on the subject, so if you want to know how much tongue there was and in whose throats then you're gonna have to ask someone else.

[chastesaw]

That dishonest, murderous, two-faced grub of a barkbeast!

[nolongeralpha]

Soooo... I'm guessing this isn't just another cute foray into the quadrants of trollmance?

[chastesaw]

Decidedly not. Or did you happen to miss the part where I described him as "murderous" just now?