Two Hearts, One Soul Chapter One
Title: Two Hearts, One Soul
Rating: Hard R/nc-17 to be safe
Chapter: Two Hearts
Summary: AU Jet survives Lake Laogai and Zuko sides with Team Avatar during the Crossroads of Destiny. But old prejudice and unresolved self hatred and shame are only some of the few obstacles facing these two. Jetko
1.
He honestly had no idea what he was doing.
His thoughts were too jumbled, images from the past twenty-four hours rushing through his brain relentlessly. He could not think, could barely process what had occurred, never mind understand his own feelings. He was hurt, exhausted, and confused. As the wind howled in his ears, he struggled to overcome his overwhelming emotions. But it was hard.
Fire was a passionate element. All his life it was passion that had driven him. Even now in his fatigue he could feel the flames intertwined with his own soul, coursing through his body. It begged for a release, an escape. Desperation and despair simmered just beneath his skin, fighting brutally against his barely maintained self control. He could feel it slipping as his pain escalated. He felt a heavy pressure in his chest, suffocating him, and the fire clawed at his lungs. He took in a deep breath, flames licking at his throat. He knew he couldn’t firebend here. His only solace was his thoughts, which were too turbulent to offer any peace.
He had betrayed his country.
That thought alone was enough to destroy him.
He had lost his Uncle, his honor, and his home. His one chance at redemption laid half-dead just a few feet away from him, taunting every fiber of his being. Across from him lay Jet, his once almost-friend, a peer, who now stared at him with disgust.
A brief white-hot flash of pain shot through him, before they were over taken by a memory. His Uncle’s harsh words, spoken only days ago, ran crystal clear through his mind.
“And then what? You never think these things through! This is exactly what happened at the North Pole! You had the Avatar, and then, You had nowhere to go!”
Now he was on the Avatar’s bison, a traitor to his own country and an enemy to everyone around him.
“I would have figured something out!”
“No! If the Avatar’s friends hadn’t found you, you would have frozen to death!”
Perhaps now the Avatar and his friends could trust him, warm up to him. It was little comfort, however.
And as for Jet…
“I know my own destiny, Uncle!”
“Is it your destiny? Or is it a destiny somebody has already chosen for you?”
Jet wanted to kill him. He had tried once, in Ba Sing Se, when he only had been suspicious of Zuko’s Uncle “Mushi”. Now Jet had seen who he really was. And Zuko knew he had lost him forever.
Zuko closed his eyes, his fire, once a warm comfort to him, a reminder that he was still a Prince, that he still belonged somewhere, now burned alongside his inner turmoil.
“Start asking yourself the big questions. Who are you? And what do you want?”
Uncle, what have I done?
2.
The first time Jet had met Li, he had thought he was funny as hell.
Of course, ten seconds after actually meeting him Jet knew that describing the boy as such was probably incorrect, but that did not really do anything to change Jet’s mind.
There Li was, back turned to Jet, complaining rather loudly about the quality of the food. And while his backside was a nice view, Jet couldn’t help but catch his attention. Conveniently, Jet and his freedom fighters has just been about to “liberate” an evening meal. So it was really no trouble at all to invite along extra help.
It was when Li actually turned to face him that Jet knew he would never forget this boy.
Later, Li would remark how weird it was for Jet to be attracted to him, what with his scar marring half his face. But truthfully, Jet felt no disgust for what he saw. The sight of the mottled skin brought instead a sense of curiosity and pity, as well as recognition. Jet knew what it was like to be hurt by the Fire Nation, and he had his own scars from it. They weren’t visible, not like Li’s, but Jet still felt them, every second
of his life.
So really, it was only natural for Jet to be attracted to this boy. There was something about him, the way he was a walking contradiction to himself. His scowl was his default expression, and yet there was always something repentant and earnest in him. Jet had never asked, because he knew all about past secrets that hurt too much to ever want to think about.
Li carried himself like royalty, but dressed like a commoner.
Jet saw Li’s grace when they raided the officer’s cabin for food, the way the boy handled the dual swords like they were his own limbs. And yet, for all that he was completely awkward, a trait Jet found endearing to no end, even though he had only known the boy for a couple of hours.
3.
Zuko startled awake when Appa landed, unaware that he had fallen asleep. Looking around, he caught the grim faces the other passengers as they began to dismount. Katara and her brother (Sokka, was it?) left last, supporting the unconscious body of the Avatar. Zuko was struck by how young the boy was. He knew he was just a kid, but it was a fact that was hard to remember after constantly facing him in battle as an equal, a superior, even. But now, Zuko felt an uneasy stir in his stomach as he gazed at the still, childlike face.
Zuko watched as a group of what looked like Water Tribe warriors rushed towards them. He stood apart along with the Freedom Fighters, who also separated themselves from the banished prince. Zuko glanced at them warily, but they were huddled together, discussing some issue or another. His own gaze flickered back to the Avatar’s friends chatting excitedly, while Katara frowned at the boy she held in her arms. Zuko coughed, shifted his weight, and leaned against Appa, not quite sure about his place.
He quickly tuned back in at the sound of his name, and then realized everyone’s attention was focused on him. He felt himself flush and rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to do with the onslaught of his sudden audience.
“Um, Hi,” Zuko said, voice rusty from fatigue. He tried to smile but he was horribly out of practice. “…Zuko…here.” He gave a stunted wave before glaring at the ground and waited for it to swallow him whole. Another uncomfortable moment passed before a man, the leader Zuko assumed, asked:
“So it is true? You are now on our side?”
Zuko swallowed nervously. “Well I-um…yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I couldn’t just let my sister…and my Uncle gave me a talk about finding my own path, and I-yeah. Yeah. I guess.”
“You guess?” The man asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.
Zuko felt sick. Really, he had no idea of what he was doing. “Yes. I mean yes. I am on your side.”
The man nodded silently, regarding Zuko for a moment before he turned to address the others. Zuko sighed in relief and returned to trying to
focus his thoughts. He had little success.
3.
Jet really wasn’t sure if he was cut out for this hero shit, but he and his Freedom Fighters had nowhere else to go, and following the Avatar’s group seemed like the best idea for now.
So when the Water Tribe warriors revealed they had captured a Fire Nation ship and intended to sail on it, he grit his teeth and bit back his disgust. He did not want to set foot on that ship, but he really had no choice. At least they seemed to be headed towards the Fire Nation, where once they landed Jet planned on going in and taking out any and all Fire Nation scum he could reach.
He was not quite sure, as the plans had not been revealed to him, but from what he could gather from snippets of conversation he guessed that the others did have some sort of plan for taking the enemy down. And that was fine with Jet, as long as he could partake in it. He was sure they would allow it, it would just take time for the group to adjust.
Still, Jet wished he didn’t have to be here.
A Fire Nation prince? Fuck, he had not thought that Li could possibly get any worse. Disgusting Fire Bender. Jet hated him, he practically vibrated in anger when he had to walk anywhere near him while everyone boarded the ship.
Really, they were just going to allow him to walk freely around a Fire Nation ship?
Given, Li proved useful in his knowledge of the ship, but that did not mean anything. For all they knew Li was just biding his time, setting a trap for everyone aboard before some back up could swoop in and capture them all.
Jet was furious for the Avatar’s friends allowing this to happen.
He wanted to punch the bastard in the face.
To think he had once found him attractive. He should have seen it, what with Li’s eyes and his pale skin and fuck, his scar, but it did not matter. Li had lied to him. And Jet would never forgive him.
4.
After Jet made sure that Li and His Uncle had eaten their share of food from the raid, Jet had requested that Zuko come with him for a “talk”. He could tell Li was apprehensive and almost unwilling, but his Uncle had brightened up and forced him along. Jet had contained his smile and led the boy away.
They had walked in silence, shoulders brushing every now and then, as Jet led them down a narrow hall and down a flight of steps. He had discovered this place earlier while exploring the ship. After all, it paid to know your surroundings, even if they were not permanent.
Not wanting to scare the boy off, Jet had leaned in to Li’s good ear and whispered, “Do you trust me?”
Li was still surprised and didn’t really give an answer, but Jet had figured he’d given enough warning and shoved Li through the next door, which turned out to be a storage closet.
“What are you doing?” Li had hissed, but Jet had noticed that he had kept quiet, rather than shouting, which was a good, if somewhat subconscious, sign.
“What do you think?” Jet had countered, placing his arms on the wall on either side of Li’s shoulders. It boxed him in, but gave him enough room to push Jet away, if this wasn’t what he wanted.
Li had glared (it was dark, but Jet could practically feel it), but otherwise made no move to leave. Jet took it as an opening, and quickly claimed the boy’s mouth.
Despite what Jet felt had been ample warning; Li still drew in a surprised gasp and tensed everywhere, his spine going so rigid Jet was sure it would snap. Just as he was about to pull off, ready to face disappointment, he felt a light hand on his shoulder. He waited for a push, but instead the fingers curled slightly, the fabric clung to Li’s palm and drew Jet in closer.
Jet hid his grin by licking along Li’s jaw, lips sliding down to the crook of the other boy’s neck as he inhaled his scent. He could barely make out Li’s panting, but when he pressed closer Li cut off a strangled groan. Jet pushed a thigh against the hardness he had found, and felt an intense satisfaction that shot straight to his groin when he felt the other boy grind against it.
“Yeah,” Jet had hissed in his ear. “Let go, come on…”
“I-“ Li had let out a barely perceptible whimper.
“Shhh….relax.” Jet had pressed harder.
“Y-y…n-no,” Li panted. “No, stop.” And he withdrew, his hands flattening against Jet’s chest and pushing him away. “Stop.”
Frustration mounted in his chest, But Jet finally pulled away.
Li detangled their bodies and pushed to the other side of the room. “I’m sorry,” He had said after a couple of moments. “I can’t.”
And the he was gone, leaving Jet with the echoes of Li’s voice and the ghost of his body as the real boy slipped out into the night and lost himself amongst the other refugees on the ship.
prolouge
Rating: Hard R/nc-17 to be safe
Chapter: Two Hearts
Summary: AU Jet survives Lake Laogai and Zuko sides with Team Avatar during the Crossroads of Destiny. But old prejudice and unresolved self hatred and shame are only some of the few obstacles facing these two. Jetko
1.
He honestly had no idea what he was doing.
His thoughts were too jumbled, images from the past twenty-four hours rushing through his brain relentlessly. He could not think, could barely process what had occurred, never mind understand his own feelings. He was hurt, exhausted, and confused. As the wind howled in his ears, he struggled to overcome his overwhelming emotions. But it was hard.
Fire was a passionate element. All his life it was passion that had driven him. Even now in his fatigue he could feel the flames intertwined with his own soul, coursing through his body. It begged for a release, an escape. Desperation and despair simmered just beneath his skin, fighting brutally against his barely maintained self control. He could feel it slipping as his pain escalated. He felt a heavy pressure in his chest, suffocating him, and the fire clawed at his lungs. He took in a deep breath, flames licking at his throat. He knew he couldn’t firebend here. His only solace was his thoughts, which were too turbulent to offer any peace.
He had betrayed his country.
That thought alone was enough to destroy him.
He had lost his Uncle, his honor, and his home. His one chance at redemption laid half-dead just a few feet away from him, taunting every fiber of his being. Across from him lay Jet, his once almost-friend, a peer, who now stared at him with disgust.
A brief white-hot flash of pain shot through him, before they were over taken by a memory. His Uncle’s harsh words, spoken only days ago, ran crystal clear through his mind.
“And then what? You never think these things through! This is exactly what happened at the North Pole! You had the Avatar, and then, You had nowhere to go!”
Now he was on the Avatar’s bison, a traitor to his own country and an enemy to everyone around him.
“I would have figured something out!”
“No! If the Avatar’s friends hadn’t found you, you would have frozen to death!”
Perhaps now the Avatar and his friends could trust him, warm up to him. It was little comfort, however.
And as for Jet…
“I know my own destiny, Uncle!”
“Is it your destiny? Or is it a destiny somebody has already chosen for you?”
Jet wanted to kill him. He had tried once, in Ba Sing Se, when he only had been suspicious of Zuko’s Uncle “Mushi”. Now Jet had seen who he really was. And Zuko knew he had lost him forever.
Zuko closed his eyes, his fire, once a warm comfort to him, a reminder that he was still a Prince, that he still belonged somewhere, now burned alongside his inner turmoil.
“Start asking yourself the big questions. Who are you? And what do you want?”
Uncle, what have I done?
2.
The first time Jet had met Li, he had thought he was funny as hell.
Of course, ten seconds after actually meeting him Jet knew that describing the boy as such was probably incorrect, but that did not really do anything to change Jet’s mind.
There Li was, back turned to Jet, complaining rather loudly about the quality of the food. And while his backside was a nice view, Jet couldn’t help but catch his attention. Conveniently, Jet and his freedom fighters has just been about to “liberate” an evening meal. So it was really no trouble at all to invite along extra help.
It was when Li actually turned to face him that Jet knew he would never forget this boy.
Later, Li would remark how weird it was for Jet to be attracted to him, what with his scar marring half his face. But truthfully, Jet felt no disgust for what he saw. The sight of the mottled skin brought instead a sense of curiosity and pity, as well as recognition. Jet knew what it was like to be hurt by the Fire Nation, and he had his own scars from it. They weren’t visible, not like Li’s, but Jet still felt them, every second
of his life.
So really, it was only natural for Jet to be attracted to this boy. There was something about him, the way he was a walking contradiction to himself. His scowl was his default expression, and yet there was always something repentant and earnest in him. Jet had never asked, because he knew all about past secrets that hurt too much to ever want to think about.
Li carried himself like royalty, but dressed like a commoner.
Jet saw Li’s grace when they raided the officer’s cabin for food, the way the boy handled the dual swords like they were his own limbs. And yet, for all that he was completely awkward, a trait Jet found endearing to no end, even though he had only known the boy for a couple of hours.
3.
Zuko startled awake when Appa landed, unaware that he had fallen asleep. Looking around, he caught the grim faces the other passengers as they began to dismount. Katara and her brother (Sokka, was it?) left last, supporting the unconscious body of the Avatar. Zuko was struck by how young the boy was. He knew he was just a kid, but it was a fact that was hard to remember after constantly facing him in battle as an equal, a superior, even. But now, Zuko felt an uneasy stir in his stomach as he gazed at the still, childlike face.
Zuko watched as a group of what looked like Water Tribe warriors rushed towards them. He stood apart along with the Freedom Fighters, who also separated themselves from the banished prince. Zuko glanced at them warily, but they were huddled together, discussing some issue or another. His own gaze flickered back to the Avatar’s friends chatting excitedly, while Katara frowned at the boy she held in her arms. Zuko coughed, shifted his weight, and leaned against Appa, not quite sure about his place.
He quickly tuned back in at the sound of his name, and then realized everyone’s attention was focused on him. He felt himself flush and rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to do with the onslaught of his sudden audience.
“Um, Hi,” Zuko said, voice rusty from fatigue. He tried to smile but he was horribly out of practice. “…Zuko…here.” He gave a stunted wave before glaring at the ground and waited for it to swallow him whole. Another uncomfortable moment passed before a man, the leader Zuko assumed, asked:
“So it is true? You are now on our side?”
Zuko swallowed nervously. “Well I-um…yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I couldn’t just let my sister…and my Uncle gave me a talk about finding my own path, and I-yeah. Yeah. I guess.”
“You guess?” The man asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.
Zuko felt sick. Really, he had no idea of what he was doing. “Yes. I mean yes. I am on your side.”
The man nodded silently, regarding Zuko for a moment before he turned to address the others. Zuko sighed in relief and returned to trying to
focus his thoughts. He had little success.
3.
Jet really wasn’t sure if he was cut out for this hero shit, but he and his Freedom Fighters had nowhere else to go, and following the Avatar’s group seemed like the best idea for now.
So when the Water Tribe warriors revealed they had captured a Fire Nation ship and intended to sail on it, he grit his teeth and bit back his disgust. He did not want to set foot on that ship, but he really had no choice. At least they seemed to be headed towards the Fire Nation, where once they landed Jet planned on going in and taking out any and all Fire Nation scum he could reach.
He was not quite sure, as the plans had not been revealed to him, but from what he could gather from snippets of conversation he guessed that the others did have some sort of plan for taking the enemy down. And that was fine with Jet, as long as he could partake in it. He was sure they would allow it, it would just take time for the group to adjust.
Still, Jet wished he didn’t have to be here.
A Fire Nation prince? Fuck, he had not thought that Li could possibly get any worse. Disgusting Fire Bender. Jet hated him, he practically vibrated in anger when he had to walk anywhere near him while everyone boarded the ship.
Really, they were just going to allow him to walk freely around a Fire Nation ship?
Given, Li proved useful in his knowledge of the ship, but that did not mean anything. For all they knew Li was just biding his time, setting a trap for everyone aboard before some back up could swoop in and capture them all.
Jet was furious for the Avatar’s friends allowing this to happen.
He wanted to punch the bastard in the face.
To think he had once found him attractive. He should have seen it, what with Li’s eyes and his pale skin and fuck, his scar, but it did not matter. Li had lied to him. And Jet would never forgive him.
4.
After Jet made sure that Li and His Uncle had eaten their share of food from the raid, Jet had requested that Zuko come with him for a “talk”. He could tell Li was apprehensive and almost unwilling, but his Uncle had brightened up and forced him along. Jet had contained his smile and led the boy away.
They had walked in silence, shoulders brushing every now and then, as Jet led them down a narrow hall and down a flight of steps. He had discovered this place earlier while exploring the ship. After all, it paid to know your surroundings, even if they were not permanent.
Not wanting to scare the boy off, Jet had leaned in to Li’s good ear and whispered, “Do you trust me?”
Li was still surprised and didn’t really give an answer, but Jet had figured he’d given enough warning and shoved Li through the next door, which turned out to be a storage closet.
“What are you doing?” Li had hissed, but Jet had noticed that he had kept quiet, rather than shouting, which was a good, if somewhat subconscious, sign.
“What do you think?” Jet had countered, placing his arms on the wall on either side of Li’s shoulders. It boxed him in, but gave him enough room to push Jet away, if this wasn’t what he wanted.
Li had glared (it was dark, but Jet could practically feel it), but otherwise made no move to leave. Jet took it as an opening, and quickly claimed the boy’s mouth.
Despite what Jet felt had been ample warning; Li still drew in a surprised gasp and tensed everywhere, his spine going so rigid Jet was sure it would snap. Just as he was about to pull off, ready to face disappointment, he felt a light hand on his shoulder. He waited for a push, but instead the fingers curled slightly, the fabric clung to Li’s palm and drew Jet in closer.
Jet hid his grin by licking along Li’s jaw, lips sliding down to the crook of the other boy’s neck as he inhaled his scent. He could barely make out Li’s panting, but when he pressed closer Li cut off a strangled groan. Jet pushed a thigh against the hardness he had found, and felt an intense satisfaction that shot straight to his groin when he felt the other boy grind against it.
“Yeah,” Jet had hissed in his ear. “Let go, come on…”
“I-“ Li had let out a barely perceptible whimper.
“Shhh….relax.” Jet had pressed harder.
“Y-y…n-no,” Li panted. “No, stop.” And he withdrew, his hands flattening against Jet’s chest and pushing him away. “Stop.”
Frustration mounted in his chest, But Jet finally pulled away.
Li detangled their bodies and pushed to the other side of the room. “I’m sorry,” He had said after a couple of moments. “I can’t.”
And the he was gone, leaving Jet with the echoes of Li’s voice and the ghost of his body as the real boy slipped out into the night and lost himself amongst the other refugees on the ship.
prolouge