dreary
I don't even know the meaning between 'weary' and 'dreary' but i am certain i'm feeling both these days. gaaah. so tired.
I keep making mistakes at ballet class these days and i feel so sleepy and i feel i cant give my full concentration. and some days i even have the 'don't feel like going' feeling also.. it's the hot hot weather!
Anyway, each time i conquer that, i'll feel happy i didn't succumb to the fatigue.
But today is one day that i didn't go for ballet in the afternoon. just went home to sleep. and boy it felt good. a sunday afternoon nap. when was the last time i had that luxury? =)
I woke up at about 7pm when my mum came in to on my room light. and she said 'it's time for dinner. get changed!'. This sunday was the monthly gathering over at uncle manny's place again. It starts at 6pm though. when my friends were eating i was still sleeeping. heheh.
I lay on my bed for awhile, and relished that familiar feeling of old. I remember the time when sundays used to be like that - after choir, we'd all go home, take a nice afternoon nap and then in the evening as the sky gets dark, someone would wake me up and we'd go out for family dinner to one of those hawker centres in chinatown area, or queenstown area or bukit timah food centre.
On the car ride to dinner, the radio would be tuned to 97.2 and the oldie chinese classics would be playing, and i would sit in the back of the car and think about my week ahead- 'to -do list' for my assignments, what's my first lesson come monday.. and what was due that week. And slowly feel a lil.. not so good because the weekend was gonna come to an end and it was sunday.
When we finished dinner, we would go home and i would either start some work, or feel tired and surf the internet brainlessly and fall asleep.
Yep, those were the days.
After i woke up today, my mum told us to get ready and we had to buy extra charcoal for the bbq going on at uncle manny's place. Motivated by an adventurous streak, my dad fixed the helmet on his head and decided he would cycle to uncle manny's place. So.. he gave me the car keys to drive to fajar and get charcoal and then get me and my mum across the road.
My mother as usual, started feeling chicken but i think actually secretly she trusts me a little bit more now with the car.
We drove across and the radio was tuned to 97.2 again. The chinese oldie classics were playing. it felt like the old days but small changes have occurred since then.
The change i anticipated in my life in jan/feb did happen!
today, i was in the driver's seat. and well, i wasn't thinking of my school work. i was thinking about work the next day. and the article due tomorrow. i was thinking about how i skipped ballet today. but the dinner thought was still pleasant =) couldn't wait to meet my friends and chitchat and eat big with them :D
I also reflected on how since this year, my sunday's no longer looked like this.
Since my grandma and aunty's return from sydney, sunday's would be church/ballet and then dinner at their house. so i had no time to relish those old feelings nor transport into the 'mould' of that old schedule.. till today..
many changes have taken shape. coupled with that, after church today, we went to cefc for my sister's wedding rehearsal.
She's getting married in a week's time! that too is going to be a significant change in my life.
After next saturday, i'm gonna be an only child in the house again. life is going to be different. i'm gonna have a married sister, a bro-in-law, and a sis-in-law. Don't anticipate any extended gatherings yet though. but it might happen like this in the future.
And after she leaves to start a life with galvin, she will no longer be my 'sister' 'sister'. she'll be somebody's wife.
You know like how we see our mother's and their sibings? in our eyes, they are just 'our aunties'. we only can imagine our mother as..our mum. and our aunty as 'our mum's sister' who's the mum of our cousins and there it ends. but we can't really imagine them as sisters all chummy and friendly like the way we have fun with our own siblings now. the fights, the crazy antics and the silly stuff. how they fight over the toilet and stuff.. small things like these. sure they do tell us those stories.. but in our child's impression, they'l always be mum and aunty XX. not as girl A and girl B as young carefree sisters.
Well, after she leaves, this era of both our lives together will be sealed in history. in the further future, she'll be a mother, and i'll be aunty charlene. and no one else will remember the crazy sister things but us..
We'll just be even more separate from henceforth.
And this is what being an adult means too. in the year i am 21, i learn so much =)
I keep making mistakes at ballet class these days and i feel so sleepy and i feel i cant give my full concentration. and some days i even have the 'don't feel like going' feeling also.. it's the hot hot weather!
Anyway, each time i conquer that, i'll feel happy i didn't succumb to the fatigue.
But today is one day that i didn't go for ballet in the afternoon. just went home to sleep. and boy it felt good. a sunday afternoon nap. when was the last time i had that luxury? =)
I woke up at about 7pm when my mum came in to on my room light. and she said 'it's time for dinner. get changed!'. This sunday was the monthly gathering over at uncle manny's place again. It starts at 6pm though. when my friends were eating i was still sleeeping. heheh.
I lay on my bed for awhile, and relished that familiar feeling of old. I remember the time when sundays used to be like that - after choir, we'd all go home, take a nice afternoon nap and then in the evening as the sky gets dark, someone would wake me up and we'd go out for family dinner to one of those hawker centres in chinatown area, or queenstown area or bukit timah food centre.
On the car ride to dinner, the radio would be tuned to 97.2 and the oldie chinese classics would be playing, and i would sit in the back of the car and think about my week ahead- 'to -do list' for my assignments, what's my first lesson come monday.. and what was due that week. And slowly feel a lil.. not so good because the weekend was gonna come to an end and it was sunday.
When we finished dinner, we would go home and i would either start some work, or feel tired and surf the internet brainlessly and fall asleep.
Yep, those were the days.
After i woke up today, my mum told us to get ready and we had to buy extra charcoal for the bbq going on at uncle manny's place. Motivated by an adventurous streak, my dad fixed the helmet on his head and decided he would cycle to uncle manny's place. So.. he gave me the car keys to drive to fajar and get charcoal and then get me and my mum across the road.
My mother as usual, started feeling chicken but i think actually secretly she trusts me a little bit more now with the car.
We drove across and the radio was tuned to 97.2 again. The chinese oldie classics were playing. it felt like the old days but small changes have occurred since then.
The change i anticipated in my life in jan/feb did happen!
today, i was in the driver's seat. and well, i wasn't thinking of my school work. i was thinking about work the next day. and the article due tomorrow. i was thinking about how i skipped ballet today. but the dinner thought was still pleasant =) couldn't wait to meet my friends and chitchat and eat big with them :D
I also reflected on how since this year, my sunday's no longer looked like this.
Since my grandma and aunty's return from sydney, sunday's would be church/ballet and then dinner at their house. so i had no time to relish those old feelings nor transport into the 'mould' of that old schedule.. till today..
many changes have taken shape. coupled with that, after church today, we went to cefc for my sister's wedding rehearsal.
She's getting married in a week's time! that too is going to be a significant change in my life.
After next saturday, i'm gonna be an only child in the house again. life is going to be different. i'm gonna have a married sister, a bro-in-law, and a sis-in-law. Don't anticipate any extended gatherings yet though. but it might happen like this in the future.
And after she leaves to start a life with galvin, she will no longer be my 'sister' 'sister'. she'll be somebody's wife.
You know like how we see our mother's and their sibings? in our eyes, they are just 'our aunties'. we only can imagine our mother as..our mum. and our aunty as 'our mum's sister' who's the mum of our cousins and there it ends. but we can't really imagine them as sisters all chummy and friendly like the way we have fun with our own siblings now. the fights, the crazy antics and the silly stuff. how they fight over the toilet and stuff.. small things like these. sure they do tell us those stories.. but in our child's impression, they'l always be mum and aunty XX. not as girl A and girl B as young carefree sisters.
Well, after she leaves, this era of both our lives together will be sealed in history. in the further future, she'll be a mother, and i'll be aunty charlene. and no one else will remember the crazy sister things but us..
We'll just be even more separate from henceforth.
And this is what being an adult means too. in the year i am 21, i learn so much =)