how did the cow jump over the moon?
Two weeks ago over lunch, my colleague started up YouTube and played a couple of melancholic 'musing over a lost love' mandarin songs.
The tunes are evocative and pleasant and can really strike an emo chord with the listener.
It was then he also casually asked a triggering question to our intern about her ex.
We didn't imagine we would strike a raw chord, but so happens, she had 'old times' thoughts running through her mind just the day before (yikes).
Our lunch conversation took a slightly mellow turn to discuss what was weighing on her thoughts.
To sum it up, she was wondering how do you get past a breakup.
My colleagues offered some advice:
- you know both you and ex are better in each your separate lives
- even though the good memories remain, remember the reason why you parted ways and know that it's already been 'tried and tested'
- time will allow you to move on. Sometimes, walking through with the icky feelings are what helps you get over
I gasp and go 'wow!' how is it possible we dish out such 'non-impulsive' and calm pointers as if it were written in a textbook?
I reflect on two incidents that (thank God) set me on a better path (although it did hurt for some time).
The first quote goes like this:
"I don't know how to say this but I just remind myself of what you said then. And, I don't see a future."
The context of this is that even though I had a short-lived 'more-than-friends' try out with someone, we hung on for a few years after as 'hi-bye, shall we meet once-in-awhile' kind of friends.
Being the ever hopeful person I am, I did fictitiously consider a possibility that we might give 'us' another shot in our 'more grown up future' perhaps.
and so I posed that question to him one day we chatted online and the above quote was his direct answer. (ah well the difference between guys and gals)
ouch.
I had an ouch moment. I felt silly and foolish. But thank god we were speaking online so he didn't pick up on my awkwardness and then we talked about something else I suppose.
so one way I snapped out of my day dream was having someone say it directly in my face 'it's not happening'. Loud and clear.
I should thank him for that too. It was swift, clear and direct. No longer need to second guess.
following that incident, I began to distance myself and eventually stopped returning his occasional 'hi, how r u?'.
So that's how I got over the first cow. We have lost contact and are no longer friends today.
The second quote goes like this (loosely quoted):
".. sorry for taking awhile to respond. but let me explain why i take longer to reply you. Firstly, you are not my boyfriend or girlfriend so I can't give you as much of my time and secondly, my bosses have a high expectation of me that I feel so stressed and exhausted everyday that I have withdrawn from all social activities."
this one cut quite abit. because it was phrased like I was nobody's. But it also woke me up henceforth.
As days got busier at my new job, I understood what being busy is like and that it is impossible to reply msges even though you read them.
It also showed me where I stand in society as a single lady. To new friends I met, I knew my place.
Knowing i was on my own and will have to care and lookout for myself.. for awhile, I struggled with that.
It was lonely. But over time, I realise that I am loved, significant and worthy in Christ.
What someone thinks of me is not the be all and end all. What's true is that I am a beloved of God. And so through this second quote, I found new identity in Christ.
It was something I always knew but didn't live out till this reckoning.
Every once in awhile, my colleague will joke and make fun of me being single.. but I am continually assured of who I belong to.. I will laugh along and remember this verse when I laugh - (proverbs 31:25 strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs without fear of the future)
In this second example quoted, it was also clear and direct.
Hard hitting it may be, but sometimes necessary.
But God enables. I picked up and kept going 🐾 (footprints)
I shall end off with snippets of an article I read today (which also made me ponder to write this piece):
"God may not always give us what we want, but we can rest in knowing that He is at work, even, and perhaps especially in the midst of darkness and loss.
God may not restore things exactly like they were before, but He will be there.
There’s beauty even in the midst of loss. There’s hope even in the midst of pain. I can’t guarantee you’ll get a fairy-tale ending, but what I can tell you is this: Jesus will be there. He will sustain you. And He will birth new dreams out of shattered ones."
and that's how the cow jumped over the moon ☁️💫🌝🐄☁️
The tunes are evocative and pleasant and can really strike an emo chord with the listener.
It was then he also casually asked a triggering question to our intern about her ex.
We didn't imagine we would strike a raw chord, but so happens, she had 'old times' thoughts running through her mind just the day before (yikes).
Our lunch conversation took a slightly mellow turn to discuss what was weighing on her thoughts.
To sum it up, she was wondering how do you get past a breakup.
My colleagues offered some advice:
- you know both you and ex are better in each your separate lives
- even though the good memories remain, remember the reason why you parted ways and know that it's already been 'tried and tested'
- time will allow you to move on. Sometimes, walking through with the icky feelings are what helps you get over
I gasp and go 'wow!' how is it possible we dish out such 'non-impulsive' and calm pointers as if it were written in a textbook?
I reflect on two incidents that (thank God) set me on a better path (although it did hurt for some time).
The first quote goes like this:
"I don't know how to say this but I just remind myself of what you said then. And, I don't see a future."
The context of this is that even though I had a short-lived 'more-than-friends' try out with someone, we hung on for a few years after as 'hi-bye, shall we meet once-in-awhile' kind of friends.
Being the ever hopeful person I am, I did fictitiously consider a possibility that we might give 'us' another shot in our 'more grown up future' perhaps.
and so I posed that question to him one day we chatted online and the above quote was his direct answer. (ah well the difference between guys and gals)
ouch.
I had an ouch moment. I felt silly and foolish. But thank god we were speaking online so he didn't pick up on my awkwardness and then we talked about something else I suppose.
so one way I snapped out of my day dream was having someone say it directly in my face 'it's not happening'. Loud and clear.
I should thank him for that too. It was swift, clear and direct. No longer need to second guess.
following that incident, I began to distance myself and eventually stopped returning his occasional 'hi, how r u?'.
So that's how I got over the first cow. We have lost contact and are no longer friends today.
The second quote goes like this (loosely quoted):
".. sorry for taking awhile to respond. but let me explain why i take longer to reply you. Firstly, you are not my boyfriend or girlfriend so I can't give you as much of my time and secondly, my bosses have a high expectation of me that I feel so stressed and exhausted everyday that I have withdrawn from all social activities."
this one cut quite abit. because it was phrased like I was nobody's. But it also woke me up henceforth.
As days got busier at my new job, I understood what being busy is like and that it is impossible to reply msges even though you read them.
It also showed me where I stand in society as a single lady. To new friends I met, I knew my place.
Knowing i was on my own and will have to care and lookout for myself.. for awhile, I struggled with that.
It was lonely. But over time, I realise that I am loved, significant and worthy in Christ.
What someone thinks of me is not the be all and end all. What's true is that I am a beloved of God. And so through this second quote, I found new identity in Christ.
It was something I always knew but didn't live out till this reckoning.
Every once in awhile, my colleague will joke and make fun of me being single.. but I am continually assured of who I belong to.. I will laugh along and remember this verse when I laugh - (proverbs 31:25 strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs without fear of the future)
In this second example quoted, it was also clear and direct.
Hard hitting it may be, but sometimes necessary.
But God enables. I picked up and kept going 🐾 (footprints)
I shall end off with snippets of an article I read today (which also made me ponder to write this piece):
"God may not always give us what we want, but we can rest in knowing that He is at work, even, and perhaps especially in the midst of darkness and loss.
God may not restore things exactly like they were before, but He will be there.
There’s beauty even in the midst of loss. There’s hope even in the midst of pain. I can’t guarantee you’ll get a fairy-tale ending, but what I can tell you is this: Jesus will be there. He will sustain you. And He will birth new dreams out of shattered ones."
and that's how the cow jumped over the moon ☁️💫🌝🐄☁️