Hello... from the troughs of happiness
And out of the blue, fun Monday night it was: 2 beers later and this is where I'm at - Happy. High. Flighty. Dreamy. Laughy. Introspective.
If I let my jokes go, my imagination and fantastical mind takes over and crafts a magical world of jokes, rainbows and the surreal. Everything becomes funny with a little bit of crazy in the funny.
Am I still here? Well it's another of those flighty times that I've never written about before.
Here goes!
It all began with a celebration for my girl pal to mark the end of exams. We're all home and happy now. But between this fun and relaxed state and reality, she needs to wake up early tomorrow for a field trip. Another friend went home to settle some nasty neighbour dispute and here I am, typing happy.
In these happy high times, I feel like a million bucks without a care in the world.
But somewhere between this surreal state, I know reality beckons and I scramble to set my alarm for tomorrow.
Somewhere between this flighty high and tomorrow's reality, i groggily mentally prepare for tomorrow.
But in the right here and now. I always am reminded of two things:
My happy relaxed state versus the worshipful devoted state I've witnessed from others at church.
There's always the nagging feeling at the back of every high episode that my happy high state is the total opposite of what's required at worship and devotion.
Of course, I thank God for all the fun times and good company im with at various happy hours. And I'm always careful to be a good steward even when I'm high.
Right now, I know these are the things I can still do.
But in the future.. for all the ways I have learnt and lessons I was brought up with, I always wonder how will I ever give this up for good? How do I grow and become surrendered to a life of constant devotion and reverence for the Higher being who loved me before all these earthly pleasures?
One day, maybe it'll all pan out.
But for now in my rash, high state, I get carried away with song lyrics when I reach these troughs of happy:
'In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world...'
I sing along and hope with my heart, still believing that nothing is impossible and all is made right with happy.
What am i thankful for today? Friendship, company, light-hearted sharing and a good two pints of beer.
Bottoms up and thank you good Lord.
If I let my jokes go, my imagination and fantastical mind takes over and crafts a magical world of jokes, rainbows and the surreal. Everything becomes funny with a little bit of crazy in the funny.
Am I still here? Well it's another of those flighty times that I've never written about before.
Here goes!
It all began with a celebration for my girl pal to mark the end of exams. We're all home and happy now. But between this fun and relaxed state and reality, she needs to wake up early tomorrow for a field trip. Another friend went home to settle some nasty neighbour dispute and here I am, typing happy.
In these happy high times, I feel like a million bucks without a care in the world.
But somewhere between this surreal state, I know reality beckons and I scramble to set my alarm for tomorrow.
Somewhere between this flighty high and tomorrow's reality, i groggily mentally prepare for tomorrow.
But in the right here and now. I always am reminded of two things:
My happy relaxed state versus the worshipful devoted state I've witnessed from others at church.
There's always the nagging feeling at the back of every high episode that my happy high state is the total opposite of what's required at worship and devotion.
Of course, I thank God for all the fun times and good company im with at various happy hours. And I'm always careful to be a good steward even when I'm high.
Right now, I know these are the things I can still do.
But in the future.. for all the ways I have learnt and lessons I was brought up with, I always wonder how will I ever give this up for good? How do I grow and become surrendered to a life of constant devotion and reverence for the Higher being who loved me before all these earthly pleasures?
One day, maybe it'll all pan out.
But for now in my rash, high state, I get carried away with song lyrics when I reach these troughs of happy:
'In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world...'
I sing along and hope with my heart, still believing that nothing is impossible and all is made right with happy.
What am i thankful for today? Friendship, company, light-hearted sharing and a good two pints of beer.
Bottoms up and thank you good Lord.