A step away from the railing
A second CG mate is getting married this Ocotober, 11 months after the first wedding within the CG.
I was at the wedding rehearsal this past Monday evening. The worship team was rehearsing their song set, couple was marking places with pastor, wedding co-ordinator was busy jotting down notes on the programme outline, and I was practicing hard for another thing.
In the midst of it, I just sat back and took a third-person perspective on the scene unfolding before me.
Toward the end of the evening, my friend and her groom were practising how they would march in as husband and wife at the end of the ceremony. They held hands and traipsed leisurely, with mini skips down the aisle.
Weddings have a funny effect on me. It's a reminder that another pair have decided to pledge their love and make a life promise to each other.
It's always easy to ignore everyone's courtship. I laugh along and have fun with them.. but at weddings, I realise all those fun times i had with them were actually leading to something bigger for the couple. It wasn't just laughter and child's play like it seemed to me from the day-to-day.
Suddenly, the commitment and expectation of adulthood rains on me. My mind unwittingly takes a double check on my own state and I have no answers to this seemingly common milestone in life.
Then I quickly tell myself 'it's just one or two friends.'
By my character, I've developed a tendency to allow others to go first, while I wait on the sidewalk and watch others for example. This wastes a lot of time, but I like learning from example.
'There's still time,' I tell myself.
But as I tell myself that, the logical me quickly runs through a scenario that it might come a day where it's my turn too.
I imagine how mine might be.. from having a rehearsal with many groups of supportive people gathered with me to help run the big day, to being sure the one I have beside me at the rehearsal is my right choice. And also to be sure that amid the people around us, and the jokes, the deeper tougher issues have also been ironed out between my partner and I.
My busy bee practical self snaps back and realise that so much -work- needs to be done.
Butterflies and lovely dates aside, the serious issues of -life- need working on, in anticipation of a lifetime ahead together.
I was about to snap out of my daydream, but just before that, I had a little inkling that it needn't be so -hard-.
Afterall, a lifetime partnership is not just my project. It'll be a project fit for two.
In that moment, I learned that maybe all I'm looking for is someone who will confidently take my hand and lead me down the aisle, and I'll happily follow. Weddings are fun too aren't they?( Fun is a big thing for me.)
So while I observe my friends get married 'one by one' from the sidewalk, and although my hand is placed firmly on the side railing to prove my own independence (or security), I am hopeful that somebody will come along one day. I'll boldly step away from the railing. He can take my hand and embark on life's unknown exciting path. #bettertogether
In short, and in case anyone is wondering, yes: 'my hand is up for grabs👋'😙
I was at the wedding rehearsal this past Monday evening. The worship team was rehearsing their song set, couple was marking places with pastor, wedding co-ordinator was busy jotting down notes on the programme outline, and I was practicing hard for another thing.
In the midst of it, I just sat back and took a third-person perspective on the scene unfolding before me.
Toward the end of the evening, my friend and her groom were practising how they would march in as husband and wife at the end of the ceremony. They held hands and traipsed leisurely, with mini skips down the aisle.
Weddings have a funny effect on me. It's a reminder that another pair have decided to pledge their love and make a life promise to each other.
It's always easy to ignore everyone's courtship. I laugh along and have fun with them.. but at weddings, I realise all those fun times i had with them were actually leading to something bigger for the couple. It wasn't just laughter and child's play like it seemed to me from the day-to-day.
Suddenly, the commitment and expectation of adulthood rains on me. My mind unwittingly takes a double check on my own state and I have no answers to this seemingly common milestone in life.
Then I quickly tell myself 'it's just one or two friends.'
By my character, I've developed a tendency to allow others to go first, while I wait on the sidewalk and watch others for example. This wastes a lot of time, but I like learning from example.
'There's still time,' I tell myself.
But as I tell myself that, the logical me quickly runs through a scenario that it might come a day where it's my turn too.
I imagine how mine might be.. from having a rehearsal with many groups of supportive people gathered with me to help run the big day, to being sure the one I have beside me at the rehearsal is my right choice. And also to be sure that amid the people around us, and the jokes, the deeper tougher issues have also been ironed out between my partner and I.
My busy bee practical self snaps back and realise that so much -work- needs to be done.
Butterflies and lovely dates aside, the serious issues of -life- need working on, in anticipation of a lifetime ahead together.
I was about to snap out of my daydream, but just before that, I had a little inkling that it needn't be so -hard-.
Afterall, a lifetime partnership is not just my project. It'll be a project fit for two.
In that moment, I learned that maybe all I'm looking for is someone who will confidently take my hand and lead me down the aisle, and I'll happily follow. Weddings are fun too aren't they?( Fun is a big thing for me.)
So while I observe my friends get married 'one by one' from the sidewalk, and although my hand is placed firmly on the side railing to prove my own independence (or security), I am hopeful that somebody will come along one day. I'll boldly step away from the railing. He can take my hand and embark on life's unknown exciting path. #bettertogether
In short, and in case anyone is wondering, yes: 'my hand is up for grabs👋'😙