I don't separate out demonic and angelic possession in the same manner that you do, but I think it's an interesting (if ultimately depressing) concept to consider. However, I only can contemplate possession as a metaphor for rape as one form of sexual violence among the several varieties used within the show.
Supernatural has never really pulled its punches in referring to sexual violence, even male on male sexual violence. I've no doubt that TPTB knew exactly what they were doing when demon!John pressed Dean to the wall and then invaded his personal space with a long, lingering stare. You also had Nick the Siren, who was extremely sexualized himself. He slipped Dean a drug via his drink that caused him to lose his inhibitions, spat in Sam's mouth, and then forced them into a duel to the death to win his affections. Alistair practically personified a creepy stalker ex, complete with sexually charged references to non-consensual past actions. He sang about dancing "cheek to cheek" and mused on how "daddy's little girl" would want revenge for "all those pokes and prods." There was also the guy from Croatoan with the Stepford smile who tried to force Dean to leave the Impala, the one that Dean called a handsome devil but declined on account of not swinging that way.
Point being, the act of possession, whether from an angelic or a demonic source, is scarcely the only form of male on male sexual violence on the show. That said, possession itself is referred to in incredibly sexualized terms - Dean's "you full on had a girl in you for a week - that's pretty naughty" implies it, Zachariah's choice of wording here very much is indicative of it (and as you mention in your other meta, out of context sounds like nothing so much as demanding consent for a sexual act), Meg Masters claims that the demon who possessed her "cut my hair and dressed me like a slut" (this despite the fact that demon!Meg did not particularly dress in a provocative fashion) and so on.
I can't think that all of this has been accidental and that TPTB weren't aware of all of the unfortunate implications. However, I don't think the writers are really separating out angelic vs. demonic possession with the in the manner you're referring to.
They're both pretty horrifying, after all. Demonic possession is done completely by force and often kills the human; I think Ruby even refers to demonic hosts as being "ridden hard and put away wet". Angelic hosts, however, DO have to consent - even if it's a mostly uninformed consent - and they are generally fully healed when injured in the line of duty and kept alive throughout the entire process.
I think the concept of consent is important because there's no way a human really can know what they're getting into ahead of time. It's significant, therefore, that angels have to ask for permission at all. The consent isn't fully uninformed either, from the four angelic possessions we've seen thus far. Castiel seemed to speak to Jimmy for a matter of days before taking possession (though this is perhaps something of a retcon, along with Castiel's claim that Jimmy had prayed for it in 4x01), Lucifer is upfront and honest with Nick that it will likely be an unpleasant experience for him, despite the severe amounts of mental manipulation that go with the explanation. Dean obviously had some time to hang around the angels before Zachariah put the deal out there (which, on an offtopic really makes me wonder why Dean was allowed to wander off to begin with. He could have been resurrected and then kept in the green room until Sam got around to killing Lilith, which frankly would likely have been faster had Dean not been there. So why was Dean allowed to return anyway? They'd likely have gotten his consent had he been more ignorant of what his consent would actually have enabled). The only one who didn't much much opportunity to consider the offer was Claire and she at least had seen demons and knew how dangerous they were, which was more than Nick had the chance for.
Supernatural has never really pulled its punches in referring to sexual violence, even male on male sexual violence. I've no doubt that TPTB knew exactly what they were doing when demon!John pressed Dean to the wall and then invaded his personal space with a long, lingering stare. You also had Nick the Siren, who was extremely sexualized himself. He slipped Dean a drug via his drink that caused him to lose his inhibitions, spat in Sam's mouth, and then forced them into a duel to the death to win his affections. Alistair practically personified a creepy stalker ex, complete with sexually charged references to non-consensual past actions. He sang about dancing "cheek to cheek" and mused on how "daddy's little girl" would want revenge for "all those pokes and prods." There was also the guy from Croatoan with the Stepford smile who tried to force Dean to leave the Impala, the one that Dean called a handsome devil but declined on account of not swinging that way.
Point being, the act of possession, whether from an angelic or a demonic source, is scarcely the only form of male on male sexual violence on the show. That said, possession itself is referred to in incredibly sexualized terms - Dean's "you full on had a girl in you for a week - that's pretty naughty" implies it, Zachariah's choice of wording here very much is indicative of it (and as you mention in your other meta, out of context sounds like nothing so much as demanding consent for a sexual act), Meg Masters claims that the demon who possessed her "cut my hair and dressed me like a slut" (this despite the fact that demon!Meg did not particularly dress in a provocative fashion) and so on.
I can't think that all of this has been accidental and that TPTB weren't aware of all of the unfortunate implications. However, I don't think the writers are really separating out angelic vs. demonic possession with the in the manner you're referring to.
They're both pretty horrifying, after all. Demonic possession is done completely by force and often kills the human; I think Ruby even refers to demonic hosts as being "ridden hard and put away wet". Angelic hosts, however, DO have to consent - even if it's a mostly uninformed consent - and they are generally fully healed when injured in the line of duty and kept alive throughout the entire process.
I think the concept of consent is important because there's no way a human really can know what they're getting into ahead of time. It's significant, therefore, that angels have to ask for permission at all. The consent isn't fully uninformed either, from the four angelic possessions we've seen thus far. Castiel seemed to speak to Jimmy for a matter of days before taking possession (though this is perhaps something of a retcon, along with Castiel's claim that Jimmy had prayed for it in 4x01), Lucifer is upfront and honest with Nick that it will likely be an unpleasant experience for him, despite the severe amounts of mental manipulation that go with the explanation. Dean obviously had some time to hang around the angels before Zachariah put the deal out there (which, on an offtopic really makes me wonder why Dean was allowed to wander off to begin with. He could have been resurrected and then kept in the green room until Sam got around to killing Lilith, which frankly would likely have been faster had Dean not been there. So why was Dean allowed to return anyway? They'd likely have gotten his consent had he been more ignorant of what his consent would actually have enabled). The only one who didn't much much opportunity to consider the offer was Claire and she at least had seen demons and knew how dangerous they were, which was more than Nick had the chance for.
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