hazzard pay...
There are dreams I've had. There are dreams my dreams have had. And then...there's this piece o' news.
It's like my personal John Connor has been sent from the future, guided my hands to the website and said, "Looketh at this...eth."
I don't get excited for a lot of things. OK, hell, I get excited for tons of shat. But, for this, I would fill my own Ark with endangered species aplenty and steer it straight into a volcano. Of course, I'd have to have some kind of jet-propelled Rocketeer pack or a hoverboard like Marty Mc Fly to escape. Goodbye bald eagle. So long three-toed sloth.
Seriously, besides personal caretaker of the Playboy Mansion grounds, I don't know of a job I'm simultaneously qualified for AND stoked to start tomorrow. I was a young kid gettting up at the crack-ass of dawn every Saturday morning to watch the Duke Brothers get into shenanigans. Do you remember shenanigans?? I do. And they were glorious.
The best part about this gig?? It friggin' pays:
* "The Vice President, CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute will be paid $4,167 semi-monthly -- not to exceed $100,000."
AKA..."And while you're busy fulfilling your childhood dream job, here's more money then you've ever seen. K, thanks."
I just took a vitamin. It might has well have been coke.