muse_shuffle: September Disc One
Track 10. My head's like a kite // All my thoughts run astray // And I'm a walking cliché // When such a creature I sight (The Shins - ‘Turn A Square’)
Chase distractedly shoved a whole chocolate éclair into his mouth and used all his effort to chew it. By this point, he was pretty much a walking zombie. The disastrous bachelor party had zapped up a good portion of his remaining energy and he was now starting to wonder if his grandioso wedding plan was even worth it. When he’d told Rogue the venue had called to cancel them, she’d hardly bat an eyelid. In fact, all the reaction he’d gotten was ‘I don’t want our baby to be a bastard’. Since then, he’d thought over and over on the conversation and couldn’t pinpoint where in the whole thing he’d possibly even eluded to a chance they might not get married at all. He hadn’t. He knew he hadn’t. So why had Rogue barely even batted an eyelid when he told them the wedding was going to have to be postponed for a month or two? Did she just not even care?
He was exhausted trying to pull this all off. The past two weeks had been a myriad of running around planning, amending plans, phone calls, emails, faxes, and even more phone calls trying to desperately to pull this off. On top of that, he had to contend with working a full time shift load where he was starting a 7.30am and sometimes not getting home until eight or nine at night. All well and good; he was used to shit like that, but… BUT the sympathetic pregnancy was tearing him a new arsehole. He got overtired and couldn’t sleep, setting him on a whole new round of the vicious cycle.
What ever made him think trying to pull off this wedding surprise had been a good idea? Oh yeah. To surprise Rogue and really try to make the day the best of their lives.
Rogue who didn’t seem the slightest bit phased when he told her the wedding had been pushed back. It left Chase wondering if she even cared. And if she didn’t… well, there were bigger issues than he thought. Was she only marrying him at the end of the day so the baby wouldn’t be a bastard? He started to feel depressed as he swallowed the éclair and followed it up with another one, swiping the cream off the corner of his mouth with his thumb.
He could see his whole careful planning and secret rabbit warren of arrangements being nothing but a big waste of time. He’d worn himself into the ground for what? He’d practically pissed himself from nerves over how to tell her the venue had cancelled because he ultimately didn’t want to hurt her. Which he didn’t. It just led to some comment about not calling the kid Spongebob (why did that odd thing always show up in their conversations, anyway?) and something along the lines of an air of ‘Oh well, no bother the wedding is off’. Actually, he suspected now he would’ve gotten more of a reaction if he told her Spongebob had been cancelled on the TV schedule. That probably would’ve led to outright devastation…
Chase stopped chewing at that thought and found himself frowning deeply. Was a fictional yellow dishtowel in jocks more important on her scale of importance than their wedding? “Bloody fuck…” he cursed with his mouth full, quickly trying to finish off the éclair. He was jealous of a cartoon character. He’d officially stressed himself into craziness. Lack of sleep and too much worry had giving him a one-way ticket to Idiotville. As if getting his penis arrested wasn’t enough.
He closed his eyes for a moment with a deep sigh, trying to drag himself back to rationality. He wasn’t going crazy… he was just hurt, that’s all. Not that there was any rulebook on how she should’ve reacted, but he’d just told her their wedding had been postponed less than a week before it was supposed to go ahead. It just left him wondering what the hell had happened.
He should’ve left it all. It would’ve saved him a lot of stress and exhaustion if he did. It didn’t seem to matter to Rogue where or when they did it, just so long as they did it before the kid was born so it wasn’t a bastard and just so long as they didn’t need to go too long without sex. Chase put his head in his hand as it started to throb. He just wanted it all perfect and now it just didn’t seem to matter. All he needed to do was tell her their kid wouldn’t be a bastard, they could have sex whenever she wanted, and Spongebob would rule world.
Chase stared at the brand new set of keys sitting on his desk with a Spongebob keyring on them as a new, unusual feeling washed over him and he knew immediately what it was…
Cold feet.
- justalilcontact referenced with permission
Words | 816
Chase distractedly shoved a whole chocolate éclair into his mouth and used all his effort to chew it. By this point, he was pretty much a walking zombie. The disastrous bachelor party had zapped up a good portion of his remaining energy and he was now starting to wonder if his grandioso wedding plan was even worth it. When he’d told Rogue the venue had called to cancel them, she’d hardly bat an eyelid. In fact, all the reaction he’d gotten was ‘I don’t want our baby to be a bastard’. Since then, he’d thought over and over on the conversation and couldn’t pinpoint where in the whole thing he’d possibly even eluded to a chance they might not get married at all. He hadn’t. He knew he hadn’t. So why had Rogue barely even batted an eyelid when he told them the wedding was going to have to be postponed for a month or two? Did she just not even care?
He was exhausted trying to pull this all off. The past two weeks had been a myriad of running around planning, amending plans, phone calls, emails, faxes, and even more phone calls trying to desperately to pull this off. On top of that, he had to contend with working a full time shift load where he was starting a 7.30am and sometimes not getting home until eight or nine at night. All well and good; he was used to shit like that, but… BUT the sympathetic pregnancy was tearing him a new arsehole. He got overtired and couldn’t sleep, setting him on a whole new round of the vicious cycle.
What ever made him think trying to pull off this wedding surprise had been a good idea? Oh yeah. To surprise Rogue and really try to make the day the best of their lives.
Rogue who didn’t seem the slightest bit phased when he told her the wedding had been pushed back. It left Chase wondering if she even cared. And if she didn’t… well, there were bigger issues than he thought. Was she only marrying him at the end of the day so the baby wouldn’t be a bastard? He started to feel depressed as he swallowed the éclair and followed it up with another one, swiping the cream off the corner of his mouth with his thumb.
He could see his whole careful planning and secret rabbit warren of arrangements being nothing but a big waste of time. He’d worn himself into the ground for what? He’d practically pissed himself from nerves over how to tell her the venue had cancelled because he ultimately didn’t want to hurt her. Which he didn’t. It just led to some comment about not calling the kid Spongebob (why did that odd thing always show up in their conversations, anyway?) and something along the lines of an air of ‘Oh well, no bother the wedding is off’. Actually, he suspected now he would’ve gotten more of a reaction if he told her Spongebob had been cancelled on the TV schedule. That probably would’ve led to outright devastation…
Chase stopped chewing at that thought and found himself frowning deeply. Was a fictional yellow dishtowel in jocks more important on her scale of importance than their wedding? “Bloody fuck…” he cursed with his mouth full, quickly trying to finish off the éclair. He was jealous of a cartoon character. He’d officially stressed himself into craziness. Lack of sleep and too much worry had giving him a one-way ticket to Idiotville. As if getting his penis arrested wasn’t enough.
He closed his eyes for a moment with a deep sigh, trying to drag himself back to rationality. He wasn’t going crazy… he was just hurt, that’s all. Not that there was any rulebook on how she should’ve reacted, but he’d just told her their wedding had been postponed less than a week before it was supposed to go ahead. It just left him wondering what the hell had happened.
He should’ve left it all. It would’ve saved him a lot of stress and exhaustion if he did. It didn’t seem to matter to Rogue where or when they did it, just so long as they did it before the kid was born so it wasn’t a bastard and just so long as they didn’t need to go too long without sex. Chase put his head in his hand as it started to throb. He just wanted it all perfect and now it just didn’t seem to matter. All he needed to do was tell her their kid wouldn’t be a bastard, they could have sex whenever she wanted, and Spongebob would rule world.
Chase stared at the brand new set of keys sitting on his desk with a Spongebob keyring on them as a new, unusual feeling washed over him and he knew immediately what it was…
Cold feet.
- justalilcontact referenced with permission
Words | 816