OC Fic: Four Missing Scenes from "The Chrismukk-Huh?"
Title: Four Missing Scenes From The Chrismukk-Huh?
Part 4 of 4
Author: ChaseII
Disclaimer: The OC Universe, with all its assorted characters, belongs to Josh Schwartz, et. al. (even if they no longer seem to want them.) No copyright or trademark infringement is intended, nor is any money being made.
A/N: Unbeta'd -- all mistakes are mine!
Spoilers: Through “The Chrismukk-Huh?”
Warning: Cavities possible. It’s Christmas/Chrismukkuh - ‘Tis the Season to be Sweet.
Summary: Kirsten wasn’t as unaffected by Ryan’s fall as it may have appeared on the show. (Almost) All Kirsten/Ryan, All the Time.
Part 4 - December 25th, 5:45am, at the Hospital
Kirsten heard a small electric whine, opening her eyes to see Ryan’s bed rising so that the boy was propelled up into a sitting position. His light was on low, spilling across his face and highlighting the shy smile he gave her. She lifted her head from the reclining visitor’s chair where she’d been sleeping.
“Merry Christmas, honey,” she said softly, throwing the cotton blanket she’d been huddled under aside and sitting up.
His smile quirked a little, “Uh, Kirsten? Shouldn’t you be at home?”
She ignored his question, asking one of her own instead, “Have you been awake long?”
He shook his head, “A few minutes, maybe.” His voice took on a hint of wonder, “You really stayed all night, didn’t you? I thought I’d just dreamed that you were here - I think I had a lot of dreams…”
She smiled as she stood and crossed to stand beside his bed, fussing with his sheets and plumping his pillows as she explained, “Sandy and I drew straws, and I won.”
Ryan rolled his eyes, “Right. ‘Cause everyone want to spend Christmas Eve in the hospital.”
Shrugging, Kirsten confessed, “Okay - we didn’t draw straws. The truth is, I kicked everyone out so you could get some sleep.”
She brushed her hand along his arm, unable to resist assuring herself he was really there, alive, awake, and in one piece. When he glanced up at her questioningly, she covered, “Would you like something to drink, honey? Some water? Or some juice?”
“Maybe some water,” he allowed, visibly relaxing.
He took the cup from her hands, sipping deeply before handing it back to her. “Tastes good. Hospitals always smell like disinfectant - guess I kinda expect the water to taste like chemicals, too.”
She hated that he mentioned how hospitals smelled so casually, like he’d been inside them too frequently for her liking. She added that slip to the growing list of things she wanted to discuss with him once they got home. His past, their families, their future, Marissa’s letter, her stint at Suriak and her struggle to keep from sliding… the list was getting longer by the hour.
She set the cup on his tray, as she offered, “Sandy tried to talk me into letting him take over for me, but I finally convinced him he seriously needed to take Seth home.”
Ryan frowned a little, rubbing his upper arm, “Was Seth poking me in the arm last night, or did I dream that?”
Kirsten tilted her head, “Afraid that wasn’t a dream. He was convinced you’d drift back into a coma if he didn’t keep you awake. And Sandy was almost as bad - every time you’d close your eyes, he’d start talking to you.”
Ryan’s eyes slid to a half-closed position as he yawned. Shaking his head a little like he was trying to shake off sleep, the boy confessed, “As great as it was to have everyone here last night, at the end I just wanted to get some rest - which is weird considering I guess I was out most of the day. But anyway, thanks for sending people home. Especially Seth and Sandy.”
She reached for his hand, squeezing it a moment before letting go, “Sandy never stood a chance, you know. Like I was ever gonna let him stay instead of me. Ha!”
The boy spoke hesitantly, “But Kirsten, …uh, it is Christmas - I mean, Chrismukkuh. You really should have gone home, too. I would have been okay.”
She couldn’t imagine leaving him here alone when she didn’t have to. And to her surprise and delight, last night he’d seemed genuinely touched by and receptive to most of their attention. He’d let her be a ‘mom’.
Tilting her head, she responded, “I wanted to be with you.”
“They woke me up every couple of hours, asking stupid questions. You must not have gotten much sleep.”
Kirsten remembered each time the nurses woke her son, checking his pupil response, vital signs, and short-term memory. She’d celebrated silently each time he’d responded correctly with his name, his birthday, the month, the place, and/or the year.
“You were out so much longer than Taylor - Dr. Hartford just wanted to watch you overnight.” She shrugged, “As for your nurses waking me up? I was just thankful I didn’t have anyone shining a light in my eyes, or asking me my age.”
Ryan chuckled. “It wasn’t much fun.” He bit his lip before adding softly, “I’m… I’m glad you stayed with me.”
“Me, too,” she whispered, turning to the side so he wouldn’t see her swipe at her eyes.
She turned back to him, her smile back on her face, “Sandy’s coming soon - Dr. Hartford promised they’d cut you loose as soon as she sees you this morning, and Sandy promised he’d be here to drive us home. We’ve got lots of Chrismukkuh presents at the house that won’t open themselves, you know.”
The relief etched across the boy’s face was genuine, “Home sounds great.”
“And Chrismukkuh? Are you ready for your presents?” She tilted her head, arching her eyebrows expectantly.
He didn’t answer right away, ducking his head instead. He brought one hand up to his mouth, his thumb and forefinger rubbing against his lips. When he did look up, he looked at her through his eyelashes first, his hand frozen at his mouth. When he raised his head fully, his eyes were deep blue pools, unmasked and guileless.
His hand fell slowly to his lap while he spoke, “Honestly, Kirsten? Being with you guys? It’s all I want.”
He sucked his lips between his teeth as he finished speaking, looking up at her uncertainly.
She felt tears gathering as she absorbed such unexpected words. She blinked rapidly, determined she wouldn’t embarrass him by crying.
“Back at you,” she whispered, leaning across the bedrail and kissing him gently on the forehead.
Ryan’s eyes closed tight, and stayed that way, while a soft flush filtered its way across his cheeks.
“Honey?”
“I’m… I’m kind of sleepy,” the boy said unconvincingly, keeping his eyes shut.
She took the opportunity to dry her eyes with her fingers. Ryan nestled back into his pillows, unable to get comfortable, keeping his eyes closed all the while.
Clearly, the teenager had ventured into uncharted waters, and needed an escape. Luckily, she had a life-preserver handy.
She schooled her face into a mock-stern expression, “That’s too bad, Ryan, because there’s something else I want to talk about - a behavior that’s gonna have to change.”
The teenager’s eyes opened and his eyebrows shot up, but he looked far more relieved to be leaving choppy emotional waters than worried about what she might say to him.
She continued, realizing as she spoke that she was only half-joking, “From now on, there will be no climbing on high ladders for you, young man. Is that clear?”
Ryan appeared to be aiming for a contrite expression, but gave up on the effort, grinning and snorting softly instead.
“Yes, ma’am,” he scoffed, his eyes twinkling. “I’ve learned my lesson, ‘Mom’.”
She knew he was mocking her, but she liked the way ‘Mom’ sounded coming from his lips. She liked it a lot.
Taking her own chance, she waded right back into the water, “Do you have any idea how much I love you, Ryan Atwood?”
His ears turned a little rosy, but he still managed to look at her as he responded, “Enough to spend the night in a hospital chair?”
Kirsten laughed, “And then some. Face it, Ryan - you’re stuck with me for the long haul. It’s part of my ‘Mom’ shtick.”
One corner of his mouth turned up, “Good shtick.”
She tilted her head, “Really? You mean that?”
Ryan ducked his head, looking up at her through his eyelashes. “It kinda works for me.”
Kirsten felt her eyes watering again as she whispered, “Yeah?”
He raised his face, a warm smile spreading all the way to his eyes as he nodded. “Yeah.”
She smiled back for a long second while she fought internally. Did she dare act on her instinct?
Or did she hold back, maintaining distance like she had yesterday when she’d found him? Or more fairly, when he’d finally awakened? When all reason for caution had passed?
Wasn’t daring nothing perhaps the biggest risk of all?
Impulsively, she motioned for Ryan to scoot over a little while she lowered the bedrail nearest her. His eyebrows wrinkled in surprise, but he obeyed. When he inched over, she perched next to him, sliding an arm around his waist.
When he looked sideways at her, curiosity camped out on his face, she smiled reassuringly back at him. Hugging him lightly, she leaned her head toward his, asking softly, “So, is this a good time to mention I’d really like for you to stay in one of the guest rooms for a few days?”
She could feel him suck in his breath. He looked away from her, toying with his wrist band as he questioned warily, “I thought everything was good - is there some reason to worry? Something you haven’t mentioned?”
Kirsten shook her head, knowing that her uncharacteristic contact had probably set off all of his alarms. And in all honesty, there was no justification for asking Ryan to leave the pool house - except that she wanted him inside their house. She’d feel better just sharing the same roof with him for awhile.
She took his hand into hers, pressing her fingers between his and rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. She focused on his hand, her eyes studying his fingers as she spoke.
“Nothing’s wrong, Ryan. It’s just… I was so frightened yesterday - I could have lost you.”
She turned toward him, hoping to catch his eyes, but his face was still averted.
She continued speaking, “For right now, I just want you closer. It doesn’t make sense, I know, but I can’t help it. It’s simply how I feel. Could you humor me - just for the next few days? Please?”
She squeezed his hand until he turned back toward her, his eyes conflicted. After only a moment, he ducked his head.
She prompted, “Ryan?”
He looked back up, the barest hint of a smile touching his lips. He leaned into her, “Okay, but then I get to go back to the pool house, right?”
Sure she must be glowing, Kirsten nodded happily, “I promise.”
He rewarded her with one of his little half-smiles - the kind that always made her melt.
She touched his head with her own, cajoling softly, “Unless you’d like to claim one of the suites inside as your own…”
She laughed out loud when he shot her a death glare similar to the ones he usually reserved for Seth. She unwound her arm from his waist, bumping him in mock-indignation with her elbow.
“Don’t push it,” he warned dryly, before his glare dissolved into a rueful grin.
Standing up and holding up her hands in surrender, she capitulated, “Okay! Stay inside for the next few days, and then it’s back to the pool house, I promise.”
Ryan snorted, sinking back against his pillows, one hand unsuccessfully stifling a wide yawn. His eyelids drooped as he asked a little sleepily, “And you swear there’ll be no blowing up air mattresses involved?”
Kirsten grinned at the fast-slumping teenager, “Absolutely no air mattress, guaranteed. You’ll get a fully functional guest suite.”
“’Kay,” he mumbled, his eyes slowly closing as he allowed his head to sink back further into the pillows.
She straightened the sheets across his waist, running her fingers through his hair a final time before stepping back a half step and watching the tiny smile that played across his lips.
Kirsten listened as Ryan’s breathing slowed and deepened, sitting back down in her chair when she was certain he was sleeping. The hospital noises were picking up outside their door - she was certain that their remaining respite would be brief.
She closed her own eyes, savoring every moment of the pre-dawn conversation with her son. She promised herself it was just the beginning of a future filled with Kirsten/Ryan time.
She then made another promise, to a God she’d abandoned long ago, but who (thank that same God) had not abandoned her.
She promised she’d make the most of this new chance. That she’d dare to stop holding back. That she’d dare to love openly. That she’d dare to ask questions and demand answers and say ‘no’. That she’d dare to be unreasonable. That she’d dare to let her weaknesses be exposed.
She’d just experienced the power of such daring…
“Merry Chrismukkuh,” she whispered, faith in things miraculous restored.
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fin