What am I going to do?

[queen__c]

"That stupid, good looking vampire pissed me off for the last time!" I said while entering my apartment. Slamming the door shut, A lone picture fell from the wall and onto the ground. "Who does he think he is?!" I walked over to the couch, I knew Dennis was going to deal with the fallen picture. A huffle of air came out of my mouth as I plopped

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[mr_angel]

Sitting around in an office doing nothing but staring across the room to at the door. One would think that being CEO of a firm such as Wolfram and Hart that I'd have plenty to do to last me a three lifetimes. The thing was, I had people to do my work for me now.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't get the thought of Cordelia's face and the things she said when she was here earlier. There was nothing more to say than just get her questions confirmed on the reason I'd taken this job. There was no reason - except power and possibly do a little 'good' on the side.

I wanted to come out and tell her was that I took this job for her and my son who I hadn't seen in over a month now.

What was I supposed to do with my time? I was just here, trying to look like I belonged. Or even still, trying to look like I didn't.

Not being able to take it anymore, I pushed a few buttons on the phone and got up with.. someone, or something. Minutes later I had an address and a couple stakes and one sword in my hand as I left the buidling, walking out in the night sky.

The address was the location of a nest of vampires that needed to learn the rules around here. No biting, unless you want a visit from me. With the scrap of paper in my hand with the address, I walked towards the spot where I'd be able to let out some frustration. You see, vampires were good for something now weren't they?

As I got closer, it looked like someone had beaten me to the punch. Had anyone else at the firm found this out yet? I hadn't thought so. Picking up my pace, I felt a sudden sense of familiarity. I frowned but kept going. Whoever was here had gotten in over their head.

Knocking a few of the vampires out of the way, I came to find a woman standing in the middle of them all. I staked a few of them while she started to fight some of the others back. Hey.. wasn't that my crossb-

"Cordelia?"

In my staring, I felt a blow to my back. Growling a bit, I knocked him down bent over to ran a stake through his chest.

[queen__c]

So I managed to get accouple of vampires turned into dust without any back-up. Which was good until the others decided to gang up on me. Hitting one with my crossbow, I turned around and fired the mini stake at another.

"One at a time, boys. There is plenty of me to go around."

Getting my crossbow kicked out of my hand, I guess it was time for hand to hand combat. Sure, I wasnt a slayer but I did have training from a vampire and I also had plenty of years of experience. I punched the vamp in the nose before kicking him in the stomach. Going back to my cheerleading days, I did a cartwheel to get my crossbow. I pulled out a mini stake when I stood up and got it ready to fire at another vampire.

"Cordelia?"

I looked around when I heard my Angel. Ugh. That stupid vampire now decided to be apart of my life? I thought he fought along the bad guys. Getting distracted, A vampire attacked me to the ground. "Oh get off." I said before kneeling him in the groin area. Standing up, I fired the mini stake.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned to Angel while fighting off the vamps.

[mr_angel]

After dusting the vampire that got me in the back, I stood up only to be punched in the face by another. Glaring at him, I swung my fist right back at him.

"What are you doing here?"

What was I doing here? What was *she* doing here? "The firm..-" I felt a blow on the side of my face from the same vampire who wouldn't give up. "They had information on-" Throwing a fist, I punched him hard in the chest a few times. "A nest in the area."

Finally, I pulled out another stake and dusted him. "Looks like you got the memo first."

[queen__c]

Loading another mini stake into the crossbow, I pulled the trigger at one before throwing punches at another. "I thought you guys were evil." Kicking the vamp out of my way, I quickly out my hand in the bag to find out that I had ran out of mini stakes. "Dammit." I whispered while I watched the vamp advance toward me. Come on dennis. Feeling a piece of wood, She smiled.

Before the vampire could get closer, She jammed the stake into his heart. Taking it out, she needed to save it for later. "And if my memory serves me right, Evil guys dont kill other evil guys."

"Looks like you got the memo first."

My half of vamps were still recooperating when I heard him. "Of course, I did. The Powers are a lot faster than Wolfram Hart." I said before getting ambushed by two vamps. The grip I had on my stake was starting to loosen up while my arms were lifted up. Struggling some, I didnt want Angel to come to rescue because I knew I could get out of this.

[mr_angel]

Again with the evil. Well, I guess based on out last conversation, I left her with little else but to think I'd gone power hungry and.. evil.

"And if my memory serves me right, Evil guys dont kill other evil guys."

Grunting, I quickly got caught up in another punchfest. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I just needed something to kill. I couldn't exactly go around killing employees, now could I? Because that would be something good and not evil, right?"

The vampire took advantage of my glance towards her and knocked me backwards. Growling a bit, I kicked him back and picked up a stake that had fallen to the ground. Ramming it through his chest, I saw that I had nothing else to fight.

"Of course, I did. The Powers are a lot faster than Wolfram Hart."

Turning around to Cordy, I opened my mouth to respond, but stopped when I saw her being halfway carried away by two vampires. Panic struck my face and I rushed over to them. I staked one in the back quickly then kicked the other back, releasing Cordelia from their grasp.

"Yeah, because those visions still come in handy, huh?" I said before shoving my stake through the other vampire's heart who came towards us.

[queen__c]

"Yeah, because those visions still come in handy, huh?"

Once my feet got to the ground, I looked at Angel. I just knew it I wouldnt of been to get out that without his help. It was time to put of a bitchy front and get the hell out of there.

"They are a hell of a lot better than evil memos." Picking up my crossbow, I adjusted the messenger bag. "Atleast they come from the good guys." I walked away from him. Sure, he had just helpped take out a nest but I wasnt going to be all 'Oh Angel! Thank you ever so much!' Pfft. That wasnt my thing. Stopping, I turned around and walked back to him.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You're not suppose to be helping me. And dont say it was just because of that info you got that you ended up here."

The Powers better not have been screwing with me because if they were, This vision girl would be pretty pissed off at them.

[mr_angel]

"They are a hell of a lot better than evil memos. Atleast they come from the good guys."

When she was free and she regained her ground again, I watched as she picked up the crossbow and simply walked right past me. What? No big hug for the manpire who helped her out this time? Shaking my head, I was about to just yead out in the opposite direction when she decided to turn around.

Who the hell do I think *I* am?

"Well, the reason that I'm here is because of the information that I got from whoever the guy was I called to get the address. As for helping you? Look, I'm sorry if you were looking to become a tastey treat tonight, but I'm not about to let you or anyone else become food for any vampire or anything else. Whether you like it or not, Cordelia, this is what I do now. This is what I still do. Sorry if that disappoints you."

Now, I was starting to get upset.. again. Huffing, I felt just like storming out of there right this second. But I wasn't doing that now was I? No, I was the one having her get angry at me and letting her be the one to storm out if anyone was going to storm.

What a gentleman I am.

[queen__c]

"You just dont get it, do you?!" I raised my hands up. "You work for Wolfram Hart, The most powerful and most evil law firm in the world. You cant just work on both sides. Its either, Work for the lawyers or work for the Powers."

I looked at him. "Its not fair for you and its not fair for me." My eyes moved down to the ground. "I can't have a small knowing that you will one day walk through that door wanting to work the good guys again." My gaze went back to Angel before finishing. "You have to choose."

There I said it. If Angel wanted to save the day, it couldnt be working for wolfram hart. His silence gave me a hint that he was thinking about it.

"Give me a call when you decide." With that said, I walked away. Hopefully he would have a decision then because I didnt know how much I could deal if he didnt call or stop me.

[mr_angel]

Actually? Though she didn't know it, she was the one who didn't get it. She didn't know the reason why I took the job at Wolfram and Hart. She didn't know that I had a son and he'd been the reason I'd taken the job.

I guess it was time to put back on my unfriendly Angel face with her again.

"The Powers stopped helping me or telling me what to do a long time ago, Cordelia. Do you remember any of last year?" Well, she remembered parts of it anyway. "Where were the Powers then? No where. Did they help us out when we had a pseudo-peace god walking around eating people? No. A warning? Not even."

"I know it's not fair. It's not fair to anyone." I pressed my lips together as I looked at her angrily. I wanted so much to tell her all about why I took over Wolfram and Hart. The thought of her thinking I'd just taken it at a whim was almost unbearable. The others seemed to trust my decision. Why couldn't she do the same? After all we'd been through together.. didn't she know me well enough to know that I wouldn't just take the job because I liked the perks?

Before I could answer with my 'choice' she turned a heel and started walking away.

"Give me a call when you decide."

As far as I was concerned, I was the good guy. She couldn't expect me to walk through those doors anytime soon. I couldn't, even if I wanted - I couldn't. So, if she was expecting me to choose? Then I guess I already have.

And as for a call? I wondered if she really expected one of those out of me. I couldn't just call the hotel and tell her that I couldn't leave. No, before I did that she'd probably make another visit to the office.

I'd made a choice and I couldn't go back on that. Even though I wanted to so badly at times after seeing the way she looked at me now.

[queen__c]

I wasnt just stupid but I was beyond stupid. How could I possibly give him that choice? Its like he wouldnt choose me over that damn place. That place had power and money whereas I didnt even have either one of those. Maybe if I had told him my real feelings towards him, It would of been a whole hell of a lot easier for him to decide. He could go back to the hell worshipping place and leave me heart broken or be with me and help the helpless again.

"You are so stupid for thinking that!" I said to myself while continuing to walk away. I was a somewhat of a dreamer and I was dreaming big at this point. "Why couldnt this be easy? Why can't i just tell him and it would be done and over it." I stopped walking when I realized he still had that stupid vampire hearing. "Crap."

[mr_angel]

I stood there, watching her walk away. Watching the woman I-.. watching her walk away and despising me at the same time. Despising me for being at Wolfram and Hart and for not telling her what the real reason was for taking the job. That was something I couldn't tell her. Not now anyway.

She spoke a few things as she walked away, and I caught a few of the words. I was stupid. I knew that. I was stupid for a lot of things.

Sighing, I hung my head but froze when I heard her again. Looking up, I saw her stopped. "Just tell me." I whispered to myself.

I just stood there, not moving and didn't say anything else. If she was going to tell me anything, she would've turned around by now and told me whatever she wanted to tell me.

So, I didn't. I didn't go after her. I didn't turn her around and yell into her face why I did what I did. I couldn't.

[mr_angel]

[Continued here]