Eventually 1/1 Kurt/Karofsky
Title: Eventually
Genre: Futurefic AU
Pairing:Kurt/Karofsky, implied Kurt/Blaine
Author: chase65
Rating: PG
Warnings: language
Disclaimer: So not mine. I don't even know how this happened.
Feedback: Always greatly appreciated
Summary: So Kurt didn't tell Blaine about Dave's reappearance in his life. Blaine finds out anyway.
A/N: This kind of a sequel to The Weekend. That was a four part fic, link to Part 1 here http://karofsky-hummel.livejournal.com/288001.html , but this can be read as a standalone. The Weekend/Weekend was predicated on the idea that Kurt didn't tell Blaine about Karofsky kissing him until years later. Goes AU after that. Weekend was Kurt's POV, this is Dave's and Blaine's.
Now that he truly has permission to touch. He does all the time. Kind of can't help it. He might be able to control it a little better if it didn't elicit the coolest blushes. Blushes that he's discovered go all the way down. It's taken a long time, but he is happy. He is totally in love with his first love. He presses against the smaller body in front of him. His hand at his love's back to cushion easily bruised skin against the edge of the bar . Bends low to growl, “You're mine,” like he does at least once anytime they're at a bar or a club. He likes to wait until last call because doing it right before they go home always translates into sheet scorching sex.
It's been a good night, a celebration. As his lips brush his boyfriend's ear, the world suddenly goes sideways. He's going down. He flails to keep his balance, narrowly missing hitting his head on the edge of a bar stool. His head makes contact with the floor.
There's a freaky quiet as the raucous crowd around him suddenly goes silent. Then comes yelling. Lots of it. Because of the throbbing pain in the back of his head, it takes him a moment to realize that some of the yelling is directed at him. He forces his eyes open. And there's Blaine Anderson, Blaine Anderson, standing over him. Fist clenched, yelling son of a bitch. And then there's Kurt grabbing Blaine by the arm. And then, Jimmy, the bouncer grabbing him by the other one. Jimmy drags Blaine away from Kurt toward the bar's entrance. Just like that, shit gets real. More real. A different kind of real.
Guys crowd around as Kurt drops to his knees beside him. “Are you alright?”
“I bumped my head. Took harder hits on the field.”
“Yeah that was with a helmet, five years ago.” David Karofsky grins and takes his boyfriend's hand. A couple of the other bar patrons also offer their hands to help pull him to his feet.
“You let that flyweight knock you over?” Jimmy's at his left handing him some ice wrapped in a towel.
“Element of surprise.”
“Or something. See you bright and early at Gold's tomorrow. Clearly you need the workout.” Jimmy slugs him lightly in the arm. Kurt glancing at the entrance distracts him from responding. This was inevitable. He's been telling Kurt that for at least a month.
“Sorry,” Kurt smiles apologetically as he tries to check the back of David's head.
“Go talk to him.”
“He's probably already gone.”
“Kurt.”
“You're injured. I can't leave you here alone.”
“I'll wait in the truck.”
“You might have a concussion.”
“Baby, I don't have a concussion.”
He has to half drag Kurt outside. And there's Anderson with a couple of guys David assumes are his friends, pacing the parking lot. His friends have him sort of boxed between them. When it looks like he's about to make a bee line for the front of the bar one of them steps in his path. It doesn't look like it's the first time, but this time it's unnecessary. Anderson stops as soon as he spots the two of them.
David would be crumpled in a heap on the sidewalk if looks could kill. It takes everything he has not to indulge the urge to plant one on Kurt in front of the other man. He'd sucker punched him which was a one hundred percent douchebag thing to do, but pains him as it does, David gets it.
“I'll be in the truck.” David gives Kurt's hand a supportive squeeze. They don't really fight. They have disagreements. Sometimes he's barely able to get out of the house for Kurt wanting to 'coordinate his ensemble'. He's made the mistake once of moving one of Kurt's mannequins so he could see the television. He won't make that mistake a second time.
Kurt made them go to therapy in the early weeks of their relationship He'd resisted, but then Kurt had said, “If we tell everyone we've been to therapy, it should make things easier.”
He could get behind that. The last thing he wanted was to get in a fistfight with Finn Hudson or Burt Hummel. He gave in, which of course ended up being a topic for discussion in therapy. Apparently given their history, he had to be mindful of always letting Kurt have his way as a means of making up for what had happened between them in high school.
There were other things, things it never would have occurred to David could be or needed to be said out loud until he was sitting in the therapist's Echo Park home office.
“I'm not afraid of David.” Those were the first words Kurt had said to the Dr. Avazian when the therapist asked them why they'd come.
“I'm not afraid of David. I know him in a way that my family doesn't. They're okay with my being gay, but David and I have history and my family might try to use that to make a wedge between us. I don't want either of us to get hurt.”
They'd gone together twice a week for a month. It prompted David to think of things he hadn't for a long time. Things he'd buried. He doesn't know why it didn't hit him until his Junior year, but one day he turned the corner and there was Kurt in, David thinks it might have been a poncho, but it had an odd shape and Kurt's head was sticking through a slit in the top. The shade of green and Kurt's auburn hair, his pale flawless skin, the combination hit David in a way it never had before. He'd felt a jolt in his stomach that left him a little disoriented. Then Azimio called his name. As they walked in the opposite direction to the locker room, he let the visceral reaction be washed away, by Azimio's smack talk about the school they were playing in the first game of the season.
But that night, in his dreams, he spread his legs for Kurt Hummel. He'd jolted awake as dream Hummel came inside him. His boxers were sticky against him. The next day in school when he saw Kurt wearing an electric blue jacket, he'd felt that jolt again, but this time it wasn't just because of the way Kurt looked. It was twined with the memory that he'd laid down for Kurt Hummel, gotten off because of it. In the dream it had been so hot, but in the cold light of the McKinley hallway the gap between that dream and the kid at his locker, not even looking at him, was deep and wide. That day was the first time he'd pushed Kurt. He hadn't really understood what was happening to him. He couldn't remember having dreamt so much in his life. At he time, he tried to rationalize it that Hummel was practically a girl. Except in his dreams, the things Kurt did to him, the things that made his sheets sticky, required boy parts. He hadn't known how to bridge the gap between his dreams and reality. In his head it was Kurt's fault. Sometimes in the halls of McKinley he'd been overwhelmed by the desire to touch Kurt. In whatever way that was possible. He'd chosen to cope with it or not cope with it in one of the worst ways he could.
He hadn't thought that he would ever tell any of that out loud. Kurt knew that he'd been fucked up in school, he didn't actually think he'd have to know to the letter. But he's talked about it in Doctor Avazian's office. With Kurt sitting beside him, holding his hand. He'd talked about those dreams, apologized again for the pain he'd caused his boyfriend. On the way back to the apartment after that session, Kurt had been pretty quiet in the truck. It lasted as they stepped through front door. David hadn't been able to stand it anymore.
“Do you want a soda. I think there are still a couple Diet Pepsis in the fridge.” He'd made a bee line to the fridge for something to do. He heard the sound of Kurt putting his bag away and then, “I'd like you to take all your clothes off and get on the bed,” Kurt had said quietly. He'd dropped both Pepsis, scrambled to pick them up off the kitchen floor. The resolve on Kurt's face when David looked at him was a little bit scary. Carefully, he placed the soda on the kitchen counter, then did what Kurt told him to do. His high school dreams paled in comparison.
Therapy had been difficult. He'd learned how to stay a little more evenly keeled in certain situations. He'd learned not to give in so easily to his boyfriend on certain things. So they didn't fight exactly, but sometimes David had to hold his ground a little more firmly. Telling Kurt's ex about them had been one of the things he'd been firm on. Especially, since Kurt had some bizarre notion that he'd ask Anderson to sing at the unveiling of his store's new performance/showing space.
Blaine tries desperately to get his breathing under control. He doesn't think that he's ever been this angry before. And he's never felt this kind of anger toward someone he loved, loves. In he bar he'd thought that maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him. He and his friends, two other actors he was onstage with at a non-equity on Santa Monica, were just going to duck into the bar and grab a couple of drinks before last call. He hadn't seen or talked to Kurt in three months. Their breakup had been amicable. He still wanted Kurt in his life, but they were both going about one hundred miles an hour in different directions. He thought maybe the illusion was some weird combination of fatigue and Kurt being on his mind. But someone jostled him and the image didn't dissolve. Didn't become two other guys built like Kurt and Dave Karofsky. He blinked and the image stayed the same. Dave Karofsky looming over Kurt. No one else in the bar understood the threat like he did. White noise replaced all thought in his head. He'd just reacted.
He's the kind of guy that brings down the house, not gets thrown out of the house so he'd been more than a little shocked to find himself in the tight grip of the bouncer, then pushed onto the sidewalk. Of course that was right on the heels of the biggest shock, Kurt kneeling beside Karofsky. He doesn't think there's enough time in the world for that to make sense in his head. And certainly the time between getting kicked out of the bar and the time Kurt shows up on the sidewalk with Karofsky. He knows the body language, so even if he'd been able to rationalize Kurt kneeling beside Karfosky, he can't rationalize what he sees on the sidewalk. Karofsky is too much in Kurt's personal space. And the body language. It's obvious Karofsky wants to kiss Kurt. Because Blaine has had a lot of experience reading Kurt's body language, he knows that if Karofsky were to try Kurt would let him. His friend Mark steps in front of him, presses his palms firmly against Blaine's chest.
“Blaine look at me. Look at me.” It takes Blaine a moment to refocus his attention away from Kurt.
“I'm as into drama as the next boy. But that dude looks like he can seriously kick your ass. And even if you hold your own, you don't want to be bruised while the show's still up.” Blaine's gaze flicks over Mark's shoulder. He watches as Karofsky squeezes Kurt's arm, smiles at him and walks away. Without kissing him. Blaine's breathing feels a little more normal.
“It's not a problem. I just want to talk to Kurt for a minute.” Before Mark can make another objection, he gracefully sidesteps him. Meets Kurt's eyes as they stop trailing Karofsky and turn in his direction. Having spent the last few minutes trying to get his breathing under control, trying to ignore his stinging knuckles, Blaine hadn't actually considered what he was going to say to Kurt. Suddenly opposite him, Blaine blurts out the thing that's been swirling in his head since he saw Kurt and Karofsky step onto the sidewalk together.
“What the hell are you doing here with Karofsky?” Blaine can hear the anger in his own voice. The sneer on Karofsky's name. Kurt's eyes widen and he takes a step back, which Blaine finds ridiculous. Between him and Karofsky, he's not the one Kurt should fear.
“I didn't mean for you to find out this way.” Which is not what Blaine was expecting exactly. Kurt is honest. It's one of the things he loved about him. But he didn't expect him to own up to it so quickly. Unless it wasn't really quickly at all. The intimacy on the sidewalk, given Kurt's history with Karofsky, that's something that couldn't have have happened overnight. And what the hell is Karofsky doing in Los Angeles to begin with. This has history.
“When did it start Kurt? Before you left me?”
“I didn't leave you. We grew apart. That's what you said.”
The matter of factness in his ex's tone, his own words thrown back at him cause the anger to flare up again. He takes his own step back, away.
“We broke up with each other,” Kurt says quietly behind him.
“Congratulations. You wanted a jock, you got a jock.” Blaine turns in time to see the hurt.
“Blaine, please I didn't -”
“Why didn't you, when we were in school, why didn't you tell me that he kissed you? A first kiss is pretty special. The kind of thing you tell people. You always let me believe...”
Kurt's eyes dart in the direction Karofsky walked in, Blaine's hands tighten into fists involuntarily.
“I didn't think it meant anything. I couldn't let it mean anything. I couldn't even admit to myself that what I felt when he kissed me wasn't revulsion. After dreaming about my first kiss for so long only to be hit with a kind of down and dirty reality. And I loved you.”
“But you wanted him? All this time?”
“I didn't. Or I didn't know. Not at sixteen. When it happened I mostly wanted to hide. He kissed me in the locker room and it burned all the way through me. Left a kind of a hole. He tried to do it again while we were still standing there. I wanted to. There was this pull, but I couldn't understand how he could make me feel like that. It was like he pushed me, but this time I couldn't really right myself. So I ignored it. Until -”
Kurt's eyes flicks to the parking lot again.
“Did you cheat on me?”
“Blaine-”
“Did you cheat on me?”
Blaine knows the answer. Being able to read Kurt's expressive face, his body so easily was always a plus in their relationship. Not tonight. Not in this moment.
“How long Kurt?”
At least Kurt does him the courtesy of looking him in the eye.
“He came into the store three months ago with his boyfriend. I hadn't seen him since graduation.”
“Wow, Kurt. I, wow.” Blaine paces away from his ex, letting the words wash over him. Trying to let it sink in, trying to let it go. Trying in some way to reconcile what Kurt is saying now with the stories of how Karofsky treated him when they were in school. There isn't any way for it to make sense in his head. He wishes he'd had a chance to get drunk first. The news might go down a little easier.”
“Does your family know?” The silence that greets the question is almost deafening.
“Kurt?”
“I need to tell them in person. I want them to see -”
“That's a great way to start a relationship.”
“You tried to take his head off. What do you think my dad will do? We have to do it right. He's a good guy Blaine.”
“Really? You get off on him shoving you into the furniture. Maybe I was too nice for you. Did you want me to be rough?”
“You and I had issues of our own. They don't have anything to do with David. We did grow apart. We were leading almost completely separate lives before we broke up. And you know that wasn't going to change. Professionally we're in our prime. Neither of us was, is prepared to walk away from that. I understand you can't hear the stuff about me and David right now. I should have been upfront with you.”
“I should call your dad, or Finn. I should call Finn.” Blaine reaches in his back pocket for his cell. Panic skitters across Kurt's face. The touch on Blaine's wrist is light, delicate. A shiver runs through him. The gentleness is one of the things that Blaine cherished about being with Kurt. He can't imagine Karofsky doing anything other than taking advantage of it. He can't imagine Karofsky doing anything other than ruining it.
“I love you Kurt. You can't expect me to enable you in this.”
“I am sorry for not being more open about what happened, was happening with David. As soon as I knew he was in Los Angeles, I should have said something. We've been to counseling, David and I -”
Blaine can't. He feels the anger trying to turn a deeper shade. He can't listen to sentences that start David and I. It's like he's falling into a hole in the universe.
“He's going to hurt you. Hell, he already has and you just don't know it yet.”
Blaine walks away before Kurt can say anything else to him.
**************
David's been watching for Kurt in the rearview mirror since he got in the car. As soon as Kurt comes into view, he knows that it didn't go well. It's not really like Kurt could have expected it to. The keys are in the ignition, but when Kurt slides into the passenger seat David doesn't start the truck.
“How bad was it?”
Kurt's head tips back against the headrest. “It wasn't great. He's hurt and so angry.”
“So he won't be singing at the re-opening?” He can't help but laugh at the glare he gets.
“You know the dude better than I do. There was a possibility, though slim. Ow.” Kurt pinches him on the arm.
“What about Jaime?”
“What about him?”
“Those first couple of weeks I didn't really ask about him. I didn't want to make it worse for you. Or me I guess. Never thought I'd be the 'other man'. Or make someone else the other man. And with Dr. Avazian, there was so much of our own stuff to get through.”
This pain David recognizes, understands. He has an abundance of experience in hurting people he cares about. He reaches for his boyfriend. Kurt comes to him without hesitation. David doesn't think that this trust will ever not make his heart flutter a little bit. Kurt settles beneath his arm. His cheek pressed against David's chest. David can feel him shaking. It mostly quiet in the parking lot except for the occasional horn. “Jaime never answered any of my texts. I think he put all my stuff up for sale on Ebay.” That has the desired effect. Kurt's laugh fills the cab. “Is that why I can't get you to get rid of those awful baggy jeans.”
“Those jeans are comfortable.”
“Those jeans are a true offense against humankind.” And now David laughs. He can imagine having this 'discussion' for the rest of his life. “I love you,” he whispers against auburn hair. He doesn't expect Kurt to say it back. Another issue discussed in their counseling. Kurt pulls away from him enough so that he can look at David, but not far enough that they aren't touching. Kurt's thigh rests gently over his. Fine boned fingers stroke through his curls. David lets his hair grow long for Kurt because of this. Because he likes to go to sleep with his boyfriend's fingers tangled in his hair.
“I'm sorry,” Kurt murmurs. The only thing that he thinks Kurt could be apologizing for is not responding in kind. The therapist's vehement reminder that he should never accept less in the relationship as penance for the past rattled in the back of David's mind. But he understands the thing with the I love you. He doesn't need to hear it back. He'd been waking up with Kurt beside him for almost three months. That's enough. What the therapist never finds out he never finds out. Before he can reassure Kurt,
“I should have kissed you back that day in the locker room.” As much as he wanted it at the time, even David understands now what a disaster that would have been.
“We would have been a disaster,” he murmurs as he leans into Kurt's hand.
“Yeah, I know. But Blaine and Jaime wouldn't have been caught in the crossfire. If we could have figured it out then,” Kurt has a point, but there isn't anything either of them can do to change a past they didn't have the tools to handle. They've done the best that they could.
“I'm sorry for not listening to you. I should have told Blaine what was going on sooner. I'm sorry I got you punched in the face.” Kurt brushes his lips against the tender skin of David's cheek, travels the short distance to his mouth. “Oh yeah,” David thinks as he opens his mouth for Kurt's tongue, this is where they left off. The rest of Kurt's body follows his tongue and David finds himself with a lap full of boyfriend. It's a little bit awkward. David braces his hands against the steering wheel to shield Kurt's back. Not that it's really necessary as Kurt is plastered as close to him as he can get with their clothes still on. They've done it in the truck before. It's not really the way David wants to do it it tonight. He wants to be in their bed. That's where they'd been headed and he doesn't want to let Blaine Anderson ruin it. It's hard to resist a hot, eager Kurt Hummel in his lap though. With some effort David pulls away. “Baby, I like what you're thinking, but I was imagining it with more naked.”
It startles a giggle and a wholly unexpected “I love you,” out of Kurt. The words hang there. David tightens his hands on the steering wheel. He doesn't want to make more it than Kurt wants to make of it, but his heart starts beating a little faster. Everything that's happened tonight before this moment recedes. He tries to keep breathing normally. Kurt's hands trail out David's hair, lightly down his cheeks to brush against his mouth. They're still close enough that he can feel the tremble as it through Kurt's body, through the hands on his face.
“We're okay like this,” David says softly. He hears the slight desperation in his own voice, but there isn't anything he can do about that. “I don't need -” Kurt shuts him up by sliding a trembling hand over his mouth. “I love you,” Kurt whispers. “I'm in love with you. It's not fair of me to withhold the words because they weren't as true as I thought they were when I was with Blaine. It's true now. Completely.” Kurt's hand slides away from David's mouth to be replaced again by his lips as he murmurs against David's mouth, “If this more naked involves you under me, I'm all for it.”
David can't help it if he breaks the speed limit getting them home.
Fin