Nothing so mundane...

[chas_kitty]

I feel like I need to write, but I don't know what to say. I haven't updated in so long I think I forgot how... Well, I'm just gonna list wants bothering me/on my mind...

• I went to the doc Wednesday... they had to biopsy my left hand... I have a bad feeling it's cancer again.
• Tuesday was my Birthday... "Happy Birthday, you have cancer."
• What I got for my birthday: flat screen 27" TV; "The Darkest Faerie" PS2 game; yoga mat & book; Victoria's Secret white robe (super soft); Bath & Body Works cinnamon candle.
• The guild is pretty much back on it's feet.
• My hand hurts. Ya.
• I haven't been reading, practicing yoga [oh yeah, which I started if you didn't gather], or working on my website like I should.
  
• OMG Jason is so needy sometimes I wanna strangle him. I love you, get it through your head and stop saying it so much.
  
• My cat is cuter than your cat -
  
  
  
• I'm gonna run out of pain med soon, before the refill comes - here comes detox.
  
• Music nowadays SUCKS.
  
• Neopets has me by my non-existant balls again. I had a dream of it last night.
  
• I have heartburn
  
• I have no engery
  
• My "friend" Deanna and I are no longer friends after, well,
  Me:
  You've never treated me like a true friend anywho... all you've done is cause problems for Jason and I. This was the last straw. Maybe it would have been different if he TOLD me he was giving you flowers, but he didn't. Instead, he bought them and brought them over while he was out buying my Birthday presents, while I was at home waiting on him. I had to read it in your blog to even know. What kind of person gives a friend flowers for no reason but to "cheer her up" but never does anything like that for the girlfriend? When's the last time he bought me a present for no occation? He probably knows more of what you like than me. I practically have to tell him exactly what I want even when he does get me things. Really loving, oozing with consideration. So then after he knows I am already uneasy about y'alls relationship he buys you flowers? What the hell would others think of that? "Oh my long term BF gave some chick flowers." How would you have felt if Marcus gave a girl he only met though you flowers cuz she got dumped? Not to good I bet. Not to mention you and he were always talking ect, without me. You were MY friend first, not his, yet I felt like the third wheel. I felt ignored no matter how hard I tried. At Luna, I made a concious effort to include you, to ask you about your day, your school, your sister issues, Marcus ect, I tried not to bring up my problems, yet I still felt like you were talking to Jason and never to me. WE were friends Deanna. I should have come first. It was completely innapropriate what Jason did. So I got tired of the arguements, the fights and the distrust. If you want to be mad at me, fine. We were never gonna get along anyway. I don't like spoiled princesses.
  Chas
  Deanna:
  it's not like i'm fucking the guy... and it's not like you're sending your consideration... i had no one. i went to houston to actually find someone to talk to. HOUSTON! at 3 in the morning because i couldn't handle it alone. jason is the only one who even thought to do anything!! ANYTHING!!! he didn't even see me, just put them in my mail box! and no it's not innapropriate because i needed someone to showed they care and you obviouslly didn't do anything!!!! if you want him to be all loveing and affectionate then be it back and stop complaining all the time. if he was going to leave you... don't you think he would have left you by now?!! insecurities is ..1 reason for breakups. so get over yours! and we WERE friends until you started with your bullshit and bashing me on your blogs. i'm sorry i had no time. i'm sorry i was sick for like 4 weeks. no. i'm not sorry. you should be sorry for being so damn self centered! we were never going to get along because of you.
  
  Note: If that doesn't make sense, sorry, but I don't have all day to explain...
  
  

My hand - the little part sticking out on the end where my knuckles should be is the cancer...




My knee, right after surgery.




My knee, a few weeks ago.

Oh, anyone wanna make me a header image? Pwease?