Death in the family
My parents oldest son killed himself via hanging off the the hemlock in front of the leach field. Mum wants to cut it down. Not to commit gallows humor, but that tree never hurt nobody. Yes, instead of the living reminder that this is where your son took his life, let's look at the hill containing our fecal waste.
Anyhow, I'm fucked about this. More than I'd thought I'd be (I'd thought I'd be relieved, honestly) (and made the mistake of telling my mother that).
I'm not relieved, there's more bullshit i have to deal with because of my parents oldest son. Like how I didn't drop everything to be by their side (in my defense, I got so blotto drunk it took me three days to resurface --ironic considering). I don't want to see them because I don't want to feel these things. I don't want to deal with "hotel or dead brothers room which was formerly my room". Don't want deal with "you enabled everything but drew the line at actually investing money in therapy and rehab".
Anyhow, I'm fucked about this. More than I'd thought I'd be (I'd thought I'd be relieved, honestly) (and made the mistake of telling my mother that).
I'm not relieved, there's more bullshit i have to deal with because of my parents oldest son. Like how I didn't drop everything to be by their side (in my defense, I got so blotto drunk it took me three days to resurface --ironic considering). I don't want to see them because I don't want to feel these things. I don't want to deal with "hotel or dead brothers room which was formerly my room". Don't want deal with "you enabled everything but drew the line at actually investing money in therapy and rehab".