Summer comes to a close
Last day volunteering at the hospital. I'll miss it, I know that much. But not terribly. Some people I'll remember: Colleen & Gina (of course), Ermina, Octavia, Josh, Gage, Sierra, and that kid with Prader-Willi. The memories of spending time with them will stay with me. I love kids. They're so innocent, so unaware of the insincerity & insecurities & prejudices adults have. I wish I never had to lose that.
I wasn't in a very happy place (metaphorically) a few weeks ago. My mother, bless her, said I needed some friends, maybe even a boyfriend. Is she right? Do I really need a boyfriend? I consider myself a pretty romantic person, but only in the idyllic sort of way. Meaning, I'm in love with the notion of being in love. I know, I know I KNOW this is naive and not at all realistic, which is what I believe in being at all times, but I also know that I have to love myself enough first before getting involved in that way. I can't just jump into a relationship blindly. I've been building up, building up the idea of the perfect first relationship for years & am terrified that the real thing will fall way short of that ideal, as it most often does. (Again, that's the realist speaking, not the pessimist.)
But anyway, I think getting more in touch with people outside my family really helped me get out of the unhappy place.
I keep reminding myself to separate the ideal from the reality. My heart is very stubborn.
Addn (8/16): the Prader-Willi kid's name is Christian. Other people I forgot to mention: Keywan, & Nick.
I wasn't in a very happy place (metaphorically) a few weeks ago. My mother, bless her, said I needed some friends, maybe even a boyfriend. Is she right? Do I really need a boyfriend? I consider myself a pretty romantic person, but only in the idyllic sort of way. Meaning, I'm in love with the notion of being in love. I know, I know I KNOW this is naive and not at all realistic, which is what I believe in being at all times, but I also know that I have to love myself enough first before getting involved in that way. I can't just jump into a relationship blindly. I've been building up, building up the idea of the perfect first relationship for years & am terrified that the real thing will fall way short of that ideal, as it most often does. (Again, that's the realist speaking, not the pessimist.)
But anyway, I think getting more in touch with people outside my family really helped me get out of the unhappy place.
I keep reminding myself to separate the ideal from the reality. My heart is very stubborn.
Addn (8/16): the Prader-Willi kid's name is Christian. Other people I forgot to mention: Keywan, & Nick.