free write
this is a free write i did during irodalom class yesterday since i was bored out of my mind. did i care that there were only three of us and he could see me? maybe. but i was going nuts! anywho... im all packed and very excited to be leaving today for Salzburg. The day finally arrived. I didnt think it would ever come! Not only that, we woke up to a winter wonderland outside. Everything is beutifully blanketed in pristine white snow. woot! so here it is:
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I should start diong free writes again, such a good exercise. of course during class is probably a bad time. oh well im dying of boredom ...
what am i going to do with my life? i hope im not as boring as this guy. shit, id shoot myself or expect my friends to if i was. but i guess i already am this boring though - i get excited over poli sci when others think its boring. i miss doing free writes in ryerson. with meggie beside me. writing notes back and forth. throughout the day.
this is not a good free write because my thoughts are interrupted... broken. like a glass painting shattered and the words broken. i feel broken, yet strangely whole. jumping from broken piece to piece trying to understand myself, seeing myself in different lights, new reflections, varying refracting thoughts - conflicting, some overpowering, some stomped out - out of fear. Fear that th new world I create will be one I dont know, wont understand, cant control. I can't see the consequences - ill understand my current self but cant foresee other consequences. How will it change me? affect others?
Like broken glass I dont break evenly along straight lines. I cannot be evenly organized and sorted - by faith, school, career, family. I break unevenly. topics overlapped and broken apart. ovbreroklaenppapedart. creating new words. new topics. reaching into many factes aspects. it is all connected. i am a web. a mirror that shows many colors. fragmented pieces reflecting fragmented colors.
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can i just say how hard that was to retype and not completely rewrite! i need to remember free writes are not about complete thoughts or even complete sentences with punctuation.
just free
free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I should start diong free writes again, such a good exercise. of course during class is probably a bad time. oh well im dying of boredom ...
what am i going to do with my life? i hope im not as boring as this guy. shit, id shoot myself or expect my friends to if i was. but i guess i already am this boring though - i get excited over poli sci when others think its boring. i miss doing free writes in ryerson. with meggie beside me. writing notes back and forth. throughout the day.
this is not a good free write because my thoughts are interrupted... broken. like a glass painting shattered and the words broken. i feel broken, yet strangely whole. jumping from broken piece to piece trying to understand myself, seeing myself in different lights, new reflections, varying refracting thoughts - conflicting, some overpowering, some stomped out - out of fear. Fear that th new world I create will be one I dont know, wont understand, cant control. I can't see the consequences - ill understand my current self but cant foresee other consequences. How will it change me? affect others?
Like broken glass I dont break evenly along straight lines. I cannot be evenly organized and sorted - by faith, school, career, family. I break unevenly. topics overlapped and broken apart. ovbreroklaenppapedart. creating new words. new topics. reaching into many factes aspects. it is all connected. i am a web. a mirror that shows many colors. fragmented pieces reflecting fragmented colors.
~~~~~~
can i just say how hard that was to retype and not completely rewrite! i need to remember free writes are not about complete thoughts or even complete sentences with punctuation.
just free
free