Awesome Review for Paying for his Pedestal
I had to just gush over this review I received on AFF. I soooo loved this story, writing this story, and shocked by the responses I received from it (even the blasted plagiarism - grrr!). I received so many great reviews, but since it's been awhile, I had to share this one:
Dominitia 2010-05-24id # 3001331389Brilliant story, it was recommended to me during a discussion about the psychology of a rape-love relationship, and I came into this very skeptically. I use to read fan fiction a lot, until I realized the wonders of a library and read stories with proper grammar for a while. I find it virtually impossible to read a vast majority now, and in fact only read it at all when I'm asked to.
I must say, my only regret is that I didn't know of this story years ago, so that I could review as you were writing this story. I usually find it hard to read and relate to female characters, either because the female psychology is wrong, the story becomes horribly entangled with romance, or the female lead is someone important in a predominately male society, to list the three most recent reasons for me to not like a book with a lead female. There are a few with a main female that I quite liked, however. This is being added to my list, simply because of the superb characterization of Cho. Not only did you make me enjoy reading a story in which the female is raped then begins to like the rapist, you made it believable. Perhaps not entirely realistic, but I could see, and even recall a real case somewhat similar happening.
I'm going to especially have to compliment you in regards to the suicide attempt. Normally I not only don't care if people want to commit suicide (cruel, I know) I encourage it, because if they want to commit suicide it'll save the rest of us from having to put up with them, and having to put out money for their well-being if they crack and go mental, or lose their job because of it. I not only completely sympathized with Cho, I didn't want her to commit suicide, which usually makes me stop reading. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't going to happen, but it was so believable that I was arguing with myself over whether or not it would happen. Needless to say, I got a new dynamic on the whole suicide thing. I realized I was kind of stereotyping suicide, but reading such a realistic account of the thoughts and feelings that lead up to it, I really begun to feel sorry for people who feel the need to end their lives. Of course, it goes without saying that I felt sorry for Cho, too.
I know I'm rambling at this point, there's just so much good to talk about in this story, it's kind of overwhelming. I'll just thank you for also making me accept Harry/Cho as a possible, realistic, and likable couple. I never liked her in the books, but this changed my view completely.
Just to reiterate, and because I'm still blown away by the quality of the plot in what I came into believing to be entirely smut (the first chapter didn't do much to alleviate these fears,) I'll list the major points that I liked about the story:
Realistic psychology
Amazing characterization, I don't feel anybody noticeably fell out of character throughout the whole story
Believable scenario had Harry lost control during the books, I really felt that this could have been possible, which leads into...
Characters are noticeably similar to canon. Not only could I see the original characters in your writing, I felt I was reading the actual characters.
The writing itself. I've read books that had far, far worse writing than this. I could almost compare your writing to other such popular authors as Anthony Horowitz.
Now, there aren't any bad points that come to mind as of the writing of this, which I'm genuinely surprised over, I've found significant fault in a lot of fiction I've read, published or not. Either due to repetition and lack of original ideas (I don't read this type of story much, might be why,) or word choice, or a variety of other reasons. The only thing that stands out is your grammar. Your grammar itself is above average, and I was genuinely surprised to read what I thought to pure smut with actually noticeable grammar usage.
That being said, you nearly constantly misused or confused 'too' and 'to' leading me to believe English may be your second language. (I can't remember, but I believe you said you aren't English, which I didn't know to mean English, American, or just plain not a native speaker.) If you are a native speaker, I'm sorry if I insulted you, it is just a very common mistake I see in people that have learned English as their second language. T be fair, it is very common even in native English speakers. I'd put it up there with 'effect' and 'affect' for native speakers, and 'a' versus 'an' for secondary.
Other than those small but consistent errors, you only have a few spots where you used the wrong tense ('handled' instead of 'handling' and so on) or used an improper word for the situation, left a word out, or seemed to have left over relics from a first draft in which you deleted a sentence or word. Remarkably, there are very few spelling errors, even in words that are in the wrong tense or spot.
I don't know if the offer still stands from the last chapter in which you offered to let someone go through and correct any errors for future readers, but I'd be more than happy to do so, and quite possibly for the sequels once I have read those. It shouldn't take me too long to read them, I read this huge story in...I believe two days, in between work and everything else.
If you're interested, you can email me at (****I removed it for their sake******), or contact me on here.
P.S. Don't know whether or not this a pro or not, but I felt like I was intruding on an actual couple a few times throughout the story. I actually felt bad.
May I say the most awesome part of this review is this line:
I'll just thank you for also making me accept Harry/Cho as a possible, realistic, and likable couple. I never liked her in the books, but this changed my view completely.
Yeah, baby! Got another one! The revolution will NOT be televised!lolol
Pity they had to read the unbeta'd version instead of this one beta'd by pisceskp_4 on unknowableroom.org. AFF wouldn't allow me to replace the chapters with the beta'd ones without losing all my formatting. I do love, however, when people can easily identify the psychological aspects of the story: how and why the characters minds deterioted, how that guided their actions, how they got to the end and still kept walking upright while managing not to drool on themselves from insanity.
I must suck as a writing, however, if they thought English was my second language!LOL Wow! Still an AWESOME review!
Twocanz