I'm hurting my soul
Today as I slept in every class I realized how much being a senior really means. Being a senior has nothing to do with a last year of all these fun moments in high school.
Yes my high schoolyears were fun but all of thouse moments of fun were out of the school inviroment.
I don't understand my self I want to be a teacher but I can't stand to be in school for more then two seconds. I'm tired. I'm so fucken tired and this school os so cold. I can just feel my wself slowly getting sicker and sicker. I think that this winter cold is going to suck.
I hope things work out for tonight. I really do I really hope that I have the engery to make something out of my self instead of this lazy bumm that I'm been pullin goff for this whole week.
I really want my hair to be straight but I just don't want to take the time or effort in to doing it. I want to look pretty but I just don't think I can. I need like two days of sleep and rest. then maybe I'll be up to this task. I really really like this boy but yet I have my doughts. Right now I feel like I'm letting al;l my doughts take over and that I just don't want to put myself through this. What if he doesn't call me tonight a work. WHat if he doesn't come. What if he does come and he totoally doesn't like it and hasd a horrible time and thinks that I'm gay. Right now I don't even think that Blikn 182 could make me feel better about this. I'm hurting my soul. I really feel like I'm huting my soul. I don't know why but that is how I feel. I feel empty right now. yet my mind is thinking about all this stuff. I feel like tonight will be a lose lose situation. I feel like I'm going to make an ass out myself and that things are just not going to work.
I need to get in a better mood I need to feel better about things all this sadness and iration is bring my down. I don't want to feel like this any more.
Yes my high schoolyears were fun but all of thouse moments of fun were out of the school inviroment.
I don't understand my self I want to be a teacher but I can't stand to be in school for more then two seconds. I'm tired. I'm so fucken tired and this school os so cold. I can just feel my wself slowly getting sicker and sicker. I think that this winter cold is going to suck.
I hope things work out for tonight. I really do I really hope that I have the engery to make something out of my self instead of this lazy bumm that I'm been pullin goff for this whole week.
I really want my hair to be straight but I just don't want to take the time or effort in to doing it. I want to look pretty but I just don't think I can. I need like two days of sleep and rest. then maybe I'll be up to this task. I really really like this boy but yet I have my doughts. Right now I feel like I'm letting al;l my doughts take over and that I just don't want to put myself through this. What if he doesn't call me tonight a work. WHat if he doesn't come. What if he does come and he totoally doesn't like it and hasd a horrible time and thinks that I'm gay. Right now I don't even think that Blikn 182 could make me feel better about this. I'm hurting my soul. I really feel like I'm huting my soul. I don't know why but that is how I feel. I feel empty right now. yet my mind is thinking about all this stuff. I feel like tonight will be a lose lose situation. I feel like I'm going to make an ass out myself and that things are just not going to work.
I need to get in a better mood I need to feel better about things all this sadness and iration is bring my down. I don't want to feel like this any more.