Father God, I am clay in your hands...
... help me to stay that way through all life's demands 'cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me and every little thing I make up my mind to be, like I'mma be a daddy who's in the mix and I'mma be a husband who stays legit, and I pray that I'm an artist who rises above the road that is wide and filled with self-love... 'Lose My Soul' - TobyMac
It's been a while since I've last written a journal entry. Not much has really happened, just work and me missing Amanda as usual. I was reflecting on how my life would be different if I hadn't met Amanda over four years ago.
If not for Amanda, I wouldn't know about:
There's so much more that I know I didn't include here, not because I didn't want to, but because they've probably slipped my mind in these wee hours.
Bottom line: I still love my wife.
The other day, I received an email from her. It stated that the post office had messed up and returned a package to me that had Amanda's return address on it. How they got that they needed to mail it to California instead of Amanda's address in Arkansas, I don't know. The package was a wedding gift for her friend. It sat in the post office for two weeks, unclaimed.
Continuing on, the email requested a favor of me: mail the package back to her friend. I instantly obliged, going to the post office to pick up the package. I had to wait a couple of days because I didn't have the address, but Amanda finally emailed me back.
Now a lot of people called me a fool, idiot, and other derogatory names for what I did, but it had to be done. You see, I'm not like other people who have been scorned. I could have easily just forgotten about the package and do nothing with it, period. I may not have been right to do so, but their reasoning was 'What favors has she ever done for you? She won't let you speak to your children, she won't speak to you, so why should you do any favors?'
I'll admit: the idea was enticing at first. Do I really want to stick it to her after all these months she's tortured me? I couldn't. Instead, I shelled out $17 to get the tracking number she requested, as well as to mail the package off.
In the first email back to her, I told her she would have to call me to get the tracking number and let me speak to my children. Today, I wrote to her 'I've come to realize that you probably will never give me what I request, so here's your tracking number. Hopefully, you'll find it in your heart to let me speak to the boys.'
Wrong move? Maybe. Should I have kept the package for leverage? Maybe. Do I really believe it would have been the right move to destroy or compromise the package?
No.
Pure and simple. No.
I love her too much to try that.
It's been a while since I've last written a journal entry. Not much has really happened, just work and me missing Amanda as usual. I was reflecting on how my life would be different if I hadn't met Amanda over four years ago.
If not for Amanda, I wouldn't know about:
- Mission Honduras
- The Soup
- Gilmore Girls
- Rent
- August Rush
- Music & Lyrics
- Catholicism
- Best Week Ever
- Arkansas Razorbacks (WOO! PIG SOOOIE!)
- Gluten free diets
- Values of vitamins
- Midwifery
- Cash Cab
- Emeril
- Paul Deen
- Iron Chef America
- Alton Brown
- Guy Pieri
- New York
- Chip
- Cassie
- Spicy foods
- Nurse Practition
- Most of all, true love...
There's so much more that I know I didn't include here, not because I didn't want to, but because they've probably slipped my mind in these wee hours.
Bottom line: I still love my wife.
The other day, I received an email from her. It stated that the post office had messed up and returned a package to me that had Amanda's return address on it. How they got that they needed to mail it to California instead of Amanda's address in Arkansas, I don't know. The package was a wedding gift for her friend. It sat in the post office for two weeks, unclaimed.
Continuing on, the email requested a favor of me: mail the package back to her friend. I instantly obliged, going to the post office to pick up the package. I had to wait a couple of days because I didn't have the address, but Amanda finally emailed me back.
Now a lot of people called me a fool, idiot, and other derogatory names for what I did, but it had to be done. You see, I'm not like other people who have been scorned. I could have easily just forgotten about the package and do nothing with it, period. I may not have been right to do so, but their reasoning was 'What favors has she ever done for you? She won't let you speak to your children, she won't speak to you, so why should you do any favors?'
I'll admit: the idea was enticing at first. Do I really want to stick it to her after all these months she's tortured me? I couldn't. Instead, I shelled out $17 to get the tracking number she requested, as well as to mail the package off.
In the first email back to her, I told her she would have to call me to get the tracking number and let me speak to my children. Today, I wrote to her 'I've come to realize that you probably will never give me what I request, so here's your tracking number. Hopefully, you'll find it in your heart to let me speak to the boys.'
Wrong move? Maybe. Should I have kept the package for leverage? Maybe. Do I really believe it would have been the right move to destroy or compromise the package?
No.
Pure and simple. No.
I love her too much to try that.