24 hours ago exactly from right this second, my life changed.
So basically yesterday I lost my job because I trusted the girl I work with. I'm pretty sure that she told me boss that i am planning on leaving to Montana so she could have my job. They said they choose "maria". I could not believe it. I could barely hold back the tears of shock and betrayal. They could barely hold back theirs too. so anyways dave and i will be getting married probably within the next month. no one really knows except for sara, we went to taco bell today for lunch so we got a chance to talk. it'll probably be in colorado and our honeymoon will probably be in ouray. it probably wont be too big of a wedding but i hope my family shows up. not many people are showing any compassion or sympathy for the day i had yesterday. ie my mom and kind of lauren. i never want to tell my kid when they're upset that "shit happens" or "thats life" i feel as if my mom has become somewhat bitter in her journey in life. because when i was a kid she would always say "thats life". i dont think people need that kind of attitude towards life. I want my kids to know I feel for them and I will be there for them forever. I want them to know that they can do whatever they want. They have control in their lives. In my moms point of view the world fucks you and well..."thats life". fuck that. I am not going to have to make anyone feel that way when you hear those godawful words. I cant wait to go to montana and start up my brain and soul and emotions and body. I feel as if i will rejuvenate again. not because of the location but because of the circumstance. this month is way to hectic to be doing the extreme that i want to do. and when i was talking to lauren she just kept on saying"what? thats weird" she didnt offer anything to me/for me. she seems like she is also becoming a little bit bitter too. but shes not near as deep as my mom is. she may seem like an optimistic person but since i can remember she always has had that view on life. and whenever she visited she made a comment like "well it aint gettin any better" and heather was like "yes it is, you dont think we've improved? if you look back into history we have improved alot!" i was really happy that she had mentioned that. go heather! well anyways i ought (haah) to go now and smoke the stress away. because i am dumb. but oh well, my roommate is a dick and i cant trust the people i thought i could...but i believe that this whole thing is honestly a blessing in disguise. PEACE__