[TW] - Fear no Fate - E/B
Ow, I had wanted to upload this for ages, it's the longest thing I wrote in English for quite some long time, and due to several circumstances, it took me longer than I wanted to upload it. I hope you like it. English is still hard, and this would fail if this hadnt been beta-ed. *hides the original art at her pc so nobody can see it LOL* Anyway, fict!
Fandom: Twilight
Characters: Edward&Bella
Title: Fear no Fate.
Rating: PG (i think, these things confuse me!)
Word Count: 1659 words
Summary: He is going to do it, I know it, I trust him. Everything has been arranged. We haven’t gone this far to go back now. This is our fate.. What is it like, the waiting, the just previous moments when they know everything is going to change?
Note I: Lots of thanks to letxmexlove for beta-ing this.
Note II: Wanted Angsty, but I think there's too much fluff. And of course the poem is not mine, as stated in the fic. o.O
I am full of nerves and I can‘t seem to shake them away. I shift in my seat. I can hear a heart that beats loud and fast. Mine. Thinking everyone in the house is hearing it makes me feel even worse. I shift again, uncomfortable. Edward looks at me with big, concerned eyes. Something shatters inside of me when he moves back a millimetre. Can it be possible that he is even more afraid than me? What if he doesn’t love me afterwards? I have to stop my train of thought. My eyes focus on his golden irises. He is going to do it, I know it, I trust him. Everything has been arranged. We haven’t gone this far to go back now. This is our fate. He must know it. Doesn’t he? I shake my head and his golden eyes smoothen.
“I’m alright,” I mutter as he comes closer. His hands trace along my jaw line. There is doubt. I can feel it going from the tips of his fingers to the bottom of my heart. However, I can not repress the blush that comes to my cheeks when he softly brushes his fingers over them. “I like it,” he mutters. He probably sees the confusion in my eyes, because he explains, “You blushing. I like it.”
The scent of his breath is overwhelming. He shuts his eyes. Silence. Just when I thought I couldn’t handle anything anymore, I find myself still standing. The wait is driving me mad. He loosens his touch and before I notice he‘s moving, he is already by the door. He hurries to shut his eyes again. But unlike before his breathing is fast and his hands clench tightly.
“The fact that you can not bleed,” I mutter, suddenly calmer, while I slowly get closer to him, “doesn’t mean you have to hurt yourself.”
He opens his eyes as I touch his cold hands with my warm fingers. He relaxes, and he wraps me in his arms. My head rests on his chest. Silence overcomes us again. His hands run up and down my back, softly. “I’m sorry, that was so uncalled for.” I don’t need to open my eyes to know that he is smiling. “I am…” Edward never struggles for words. I look up to his eyes, but he avoids them.
“It’s alright, Edward,” my voice cracks as I softly brush the skin on his bare arm. Edward shakes his head in denial. Standing on my tiptoes I catch his lips with mine. Softly. Warmly. He remains still. “It is.” I repeat.
“Stop it, Bella. The more you say it, the more I think it is not.” I become motionless in his arms, which causes me to think that he is not going to do it. However, I find my body shaking with fear. He seems so distant. Time. Time has become such a common word between us. I don’t want to wonder on the if’s. My heart aches just thinking about it. “Do not cry, Bella love, I am being really rude, please don’t cry…”
His hand tenderly wipes the tears that I didn‘t know I had shed. I can’t move. If there is something I can’t deal with it is hesitation. Distrust that everything will turn out bad. Doubt that he won’t love me afterwards. Isn’t it because of me that that he is delaying this so much? His lips trace the path my tears had made and his touch burns me.
“Do you love me, Edward?” The question pops out of my mouth muffled by my sobbing. He raises his eyebrow, confused, but his eyes are blank within a second. He takes his time, wondering, his lips making their way down my collarbone.
“Me loving you is an understatement, Bella” he whispers, his tongue tracing patterns of fire on my skin. “I am nothing without you.”
I am scared to ruin the moment, his words echoing inside me like waves of electricity. I melt under his touch. His lips caress my shoulders, move back to my neck, and finally conclude at my own impatient mouth. He kisses me. Softly and carefully, like every other time. He takes my face into his hands, bringing me even closer, if possible.
“Make me yours,” I gasp when he retires to let me breath. He crooks a smile while giving soft, short kisses around my hands.
“There is no need to exaggerate,” he states. His tongue circles my right palm, making me shiver to the very core of my being. Edward’s lips walk their way up my arm, and back to my mouth. They leave the moment I am ready to catch them and I can’t hold back the need to moan and complain. “Patient is a virtue,” he adds, teasing me.
Excitement flows inside me. There’s something about the way he is touching me, the way he is looking at me. We tried before, and though we succeeded, his touches, his kisses, his eyes are nothing like what they are now. He is trying to kill me, for sure, my heart can’t take anymore anticipation. As he kisses my neck again and I softly murmur his name, a bit of my consciousness seeps through my haze and though I like the place this is heading to, this is not what we are suppose to be doing.
“You are trying to distract me, Edward Cullen.” My voice doesn’t sound as angry as it should, and his smile widens in awe.
“Actually, Mrs. Cullen, I am not.” I stare blankly at him. His eyes are full of an emotion I had never seen in him. Wonder, desire, surrender and even fear all mixed in those light charming eyes.
“Then what?” I regret the moment that the words slip from my mouth.. His hands fall to his side, as his eyes dart to the window and his lips leave my skin, aching me. I grip his hands in mine, and I kiss them softly as he did to mine moments before. He awkwardly bring his eyes back to mine, they are hurt and the guilt kills me, but it’s the lost spark in them that makes me want to hug him forever. “What‘s wrong, Edward?”
He hesitates. I see his golden eyes dart from side to side, desperately searching for words he can‘t find. It is strangely sad and sweet to see him like this. For a moment I wonder if the Edward I know and love is standing in front me. He comes closer to me, his eyes finally focusing on mine, pleading for something I can‘t understand.
“Right now, Bella, I am memorizing every blush, every smell, and every single movement you make… I never want to forget them,” he whispers. His eyes burning into my soul.
“I’m sorry.” My voice vanishes into the air. I feel him hugging me softly while his hands caress my back calmly.
“There is nothing you have to be sorry about, love,” he whispers in my ear. He’s confident again and against my better judgment a smile spreads over my face. “I am the one to be sorry here.” He whispers.
“Kiss me,” I plead. I don’t want those thoughts to keep invading his mind. I need him with me now, in this moment.
Edward’s mouth reaches mine in an instant. My lips part wanting for more and for the first time in my life he allows it. Edward kisses me like he has never before. His sweet tongue searching, exploring and wanting every inch of me. My hands are around his neck right away, bringing him closer, wanting to never break apart. My breathing quickens, and I slip away just long enough to breath in air. My hearts wants to explode from my chest. I’m his and he is mine.
“Make me yours forever, Edward.” I insist. He stops, licking my lower lip, eyes full of lust and desire. “It’s time.”
“I love you, Bella Cullen.” He smiles, parting away, but keeping me close to his body. Edward’s hands search for my own. His eyes land on the white scar on my palm. He brings my palm to his lips, kissing it softly. Shivers run through my body, his touch intoxicating my blood. “And I’ll love you forever. I carry your heart with me. I am never without it (anywhere I go. you go, my dear; and whatever is done by me is your doing, my darling).”
“I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet.” He smiles, while happy tears stroll down my cheeks. Sadness mixes with the anxiety and happiness inside of me.
“I want no world, you are the beauty of my world, my love,” he continues the poem, kissing my scar tenderly
“You are everything a moon has ever meant. Wherever you go a sun will always sing to you,” He finishes the first part of the poem, but I don’t expect him to go on. Edward hasn’t lifted his lips from my hand, watching me carefully. I nodded at his silent question. I was more prepared than ever.
His free hand caresses my cheek. His eyes are shut when he bends his head to my hands once again. I feel his teeth puncture my flesh. Tears continue to fall from my eyes as pains begins to rush over my body. Blankness strikes me as he continued his task; he softly murmurs words while he bites. Through the pain I can remember his words and I know that I’ll be his forever.
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)
-E. E. Cummings
Fandom: Twilight
Characters: Edward&Bella
Title: Fear no Fate.
Rating: PG (i think, these things confuse me!)
Word Count: 1659 words
Summary: He is going to do it, I know it, I trust him. Everything has been arranged. We haven’t gone this far to go back now. This is our fate.. What is it like, the waiting, the just previous moments when they know everything is going to change?
Note I: Lots of thanks to letxmexlove for beta-ing this.
Note II: Wanted Angsty, but I think there's too much fluff. And of course the poem is not mine, as stated in the fic. o.O
I am full of nerves and I can‘t seem to shake them away. I shift in my seat. I can hear a heart that beats loud and fast. Mine. Thinking everyone in the house is hearing it makes me feel even worse. I shift again, uncomfortable. Edward looks at me with big, concerned eyes. Something shatters inside of me when he moves back a millimetre. Can it be possible that he is even more afraid than me? What if he doesn’t love me afterwards? I have to stop my train of thought. My eyes focus on his golden irises. He is going to do it, I know it, I trust him. Everything has been arranged. We haven’t gone this far to go back now. This is our fate. He must know it. Doesn’t he? I shake my head and his golden eyes smoothen.
“I’m alright,” I mutter as he comes closer. His hands trace along my jaw line. There is doubt. I can feel it going from the tips of his fingers to the bottom of my heart. However, I can not repress the blush that comes to my cheeks when he softly brushes his fingers over them. “I like it,” he mutters. He probably sees the confusion in my eyes, because he explains, “You blushing. I like it.”
The scent of his breath is overwhelming. He shuts his eyes. Silence. Just when I thought I couldn’t handle anything anymore, I find myself still standing. The wait is driving me mad. He loosens his touch and before I notice he‘s moving, he is already by the door. He hurries to shut his eyes again. But unlike before his breathing is fast and his hands clench tightly.
“The fact that you can not bleed,” I mutter, suddenly calmer, while I slowly get closer to him, “doesn’t mean you have to hurt yourself.”
He opens his eyes as I touch his cold hands with my warm fingers. He relaxes, and he wraps me in his arms. My head rests on his chest. Silence overcomes us again. His hands run up and down my back, softly. “I’m sorry, that was so uncalled for.” I don’t need to open my eyes to know that he is smiling. “I am…” Edward never struggles for words. I look up to his eyes, but he avoids them.
“It’s alright, Edward,” my voice cracks as I softly brush the skin on his bare arm. Edward shakes his head in denial. Standing on my tiptoes I catch his lips with mine. Softly. Warmly. He remains still. “It is.” I repeat.
“Stop it, Bella. The more you say it, the more I think it is not.” I become motionless in his arms, which causes me to think that he is not going to do it. However, I find my body shaking with fear. He seems so distant. Time. Time has become such a common word between us. I don’t want to wonder on the if’s. My heart aches just thinking about it. “Do not cry, Bella love, I am being really rude, please don’t cry…”
His hand tenderly wipes the tears that I didn‘t know I had shed. I can’t move. If there is something I can’t deal with it is hesitation. Distrust that everything will turn out bad. Doubt that he won’t love me afterwards. Isn’t it because of me that that he is delaying this so much? His lips trace the path my tears had made and his touch burns me.
“Do you love me, Edward?” The question pops out of my mouth muffled by my sobbing. He raises his eyebrow, confused, but his eyes are blank within a second. He takes his time, wondering, his lips making their way down my collarbone.
“Me loving you is an understatement, Bella” he whispers, his tongue tracing patterns of fire on my skin. “I am nothing without you.”
I am scared to ruin the moment, his words echoing inside me like waves of electricity. I melt under his touch. His lips caress my shoulders, move back to my neck, and finally conclude at my own impatient mouth. He kisses me. Softly and carefully, like every other time. He takes my face into his hands, bringing me even closer, if possible.
“Make me yours,” I gasp when he retires to let me breath. He crooks a smile while giving soft, short kisses around my hands.
“There is no need to exaggerate,” he states. His tongue circles my right palm, making me shiver to the very core of my being. Edward’s lips walk their way up my arm, and back to my mouth. They leave the moment I am ready to catch them and I can’t hold back the need to moan and complain. “Patient is a virtue,” he adds, teasing me.
Excitement flows inside me. There’s something about the way he is touching me, the way he is looking at me. We tried before, and though we succeeded, his touches, his kisses, his eyes are nothing like what they are now. He is trying to kill me, for sure, my heart can’t take anymore anticipation. As he kisses my neck again and I softly murmur his name, a bit of my consciousness seeps through my haze and though I like the place this is heading to, this is not what we are suppose to be doing.
“You are trying to distract me, Edward Cullen.” My voice doesn’t sound as angry as it should, and his smile widens in awe.
“Actually, Mrs. Cullen, I am not.” I stare blankly at him. His eyes are full of an emotion I had never seen in him. Wonder, desire, surrender and even fear all mixed in those light charming eyes.
“Then what?” I regret the moment that the words slip from my mouth.. His hands fall to his side, as his eyes dart to the window and his lips leave my skin, aching me. I grip his hands in mine, and I kiss them softly as he did to mine moments before. He awkwardly bring his eyes back to mine, they are hurt and the guilt kills me, but it’s the lost spark in them that makes me want to hug him forever. “What‘s wrong, Edward?”
He hesitates. I see his golden eyes dart from side to side, desperately searching for words he can‘t find. It is strangely sad and sweet to see him like this. For a moment I wonder if the Edward I know and love is standing in front me. He comes closer to me, his eyes finally focusing on mine, pleading for something I can‘t understand.
“Right now, Bella, I am memorizing every blush, every smell, and every single movement you make… I never want to forget them,” he whispers. His eyes burning into my soul.
“I’m sorry.” My voice vanishes into the air. I feel him hugging me softly while his hands caress my back calmly.
“There is nothing you have to be sorry about, love,” he whispers in my ear. He’s confident again and against my better judgment a smile spreads over my face. “I am the one to be sorry here.” He whispers.
“Kiss me,” I plead. I don’t want those thoughts to keep invading his mind. I need him with me now, in this moment.
Edward’s mouth reaches mine in an instant. My lips part wanting for more and for the first time in my life he allows it. Edward kisses me like he has never before. His sweet tongue searching, exploring and wanting every inch of me. My hands are around his neck right away, bringing him closer, wanting to never break apart. My breathing quickens, and I slip away just long enough to breath in air. My hearts wants to explode from my chest. I’m his and he is mine.
“Make me yours forever, Edward.” I insist. He stops, licking my lower lip, eyes full of lust and desire. “It’s time.”
“I love you, Bella Cullen.” He smiles, parting away, but keeping me close to his body. Edward’s hands search for my own. His eyes land on the white scar on my palm. He brings my palm to his lips, kissing it softly. Shivers run through my body, his touch intoxicating my blood. “And I’ll love you forever. I carry your heart with me. I am never without it (anywhere I go. you go, my dear; and whatever is done by me is your doing, my darling).”
“I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet.” He smiles, while happy tears stroll down my cheeks. Sadness mixes with the anxiety and happiness inside of me.
“I want no world, you are the beauty of my world, my love,” he continues the poem, kissing my scar tenderly
“You are everything a moon has ever meant. Wherever you go a sun will always sing to you,” He finishes the first part of the poem, but I don’t expect him to go on. Edward hasn’t lifted his lips from my hand, watching me carefully. I nodded at his silent question. I was more prepared than ever.
His free hand caresses my cheek. His eyes are shut when he bends his head to my hands once again. I feel his teeth puncture my flesh. Tears continue to fall from my eyes as pains begins to rush over my body. Blankness strikes me as he continued his task; he softly murmurs words while he bites. Through the pain I can remember his words and I know that I’ll be his forever.
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)
-E. E. Cummings