*Dream* 006

[charmingpet]

[[OOC: Yes, I'm borrowing Yuki's static~! This assumes that everyone's already moved in.]]

Comments

[charmingmaster]

[What indeed. Jade would like to know that himself. At least he has Dist's attention now.]

...



[The simplest thing to do would be to apologize, but somehow the words refused to leave Jade's lips.]

...



I was wrong.

[It was a start. It wasn't enough, nowhere near enough, but at least it was something damn it. He just needed more than that. He needed to explain himself, the conversation, the past, just something. He had given their situation and history SO much thought, especially in the past year. So why did the answers seem so difficult for him to grasp?]

...



You deserved better.

[charmingpet]

[Dist's expression would have been comical if not for the serious subject matter.]

[This was something he had always wanted to hear, had often dreamed of hearing. It was a personal fantasy of his, to hear Jade apologize to him. Of course, it always seemed like it would remain a fantasy, some impossible situation that'd never come about. So, when it actually did come about, Dist had absolutely no idea how to handle it.]

...What?

[charmingmaster]

[Jade didn't want to repeat himself. Fortunately it wasn't necessary. He knew that Dist was hanging on his very word now. Unfortunately that created immense pressure for him to make sure that each word he chose were the right words.]

...

[Strangely enough something did come to Jade after about a minute's worth of silence. His expression faintly softened, bringing just the hint of humor without amusement to his face.]



I never thanked you for any of it, did I?

[It was a dangerous rhetorical question, one that might give a false sense of approval for their past deeds. But Jade had to admit not long ago that they weren't all in vain. He just had to admit it to Saphir, who likely needed to hear it.]

[charmingpet]

[Is this a trick question? Dist isn't quite sure.]

No. No, you didn't.

[And once again, he oddly feels compelled to defend Jade, even from himself.]

You didn't need to.

[charmingmaster]

You're wrong about that.

[Those words at least came more easily than others, but Jade still needed more. He needed the right words.]



I did nothing to deserve your unquestioning devotion.

[Such truths seemed to come more readily. The dislike he held for the terrible person he was in the past and how that part of him would never truly go away was something he had long since accepted.]



The moments we... I treated you decently do not make what I put you through acceptable, nor do they justify the pursuit of my foolish dream.

[It wasn't like Jade to slip up with his words, if it was only a slight instance. Clearly the conversation was affecting him more than he cared to admit.]

[charmingpet]

[Dist is more than a little bewildered by all of this. He's never heard Jade talk like this before, and admittedly it's everything the fontechnician had ever hoped to hear from the fonist. Naturally, considering the source, it gave Dist more than enough reason to be wary of when the other shoe would drop.]

I...

[And yet, even then, he feels uncomfortable with how Jade's depreciating himself.]

It was only natural. You were under a lot of stress and having to deal with a situation that neither of us were prepared for. We had to learn as we went, and admittedly a lot of mistakes were made.

[charmingmaster]

[Still Dist defended Jade. That fact was strangely endearing and annoying all at once. The fonist wasn't sure how much longer he could deal with such disquieting subject matter. At least they were talking through their Dreamberries rather than in person. Jade wasn't sure how far their conversation would have progressed had they been in the same room.]

Indeed.



[To continue down this venue or try a different approach... Jade found himself uncertain as to which was the better option. Pointing out his flaws to Dist caused the fontechnician to become defensive. The same would happen if Jade chose to talk about Dist's faults. That wouldn't get them very far if he was to make any progress getting through to Dist.]



...Regrettably those mistakes need to be addressed if we expect to improve the current situation.

[charmingpet]

...And what exactly do you have in mind for 'improvement'?

[charmingmaster]

[My, what a loaded question you have there Dist. Even with Jade's emotional difficulties the Colonel could see so many ways he could give an answer that would make Dist react badly. A weary sigh escapes him, and for the moment he is stumped. Unfortunately he just can't remain silent, as Dist will undoubtedly take that wrong as well.]



For starters... I'd prefer not to be on opposing sides.

[charmingpet]

You say that as if I were somehow responsible for that!

[charmingmaster]

[And we're back to Dist being defensive again. How perfectly annoying.]

How else should I phrase it?

[charmingpet]

That depends entirely upon what you're trying to say!

[Dist's rather irritated that it degraded to this, just as much as Jade. But he just couldn't let a perceived slight go. And yet, he doesn't want this to totally go down this well-traveled road.]

I... if you're not trying to say it's my fault, what are you trying to say!?

[charmingmaster]

[There's a pregnant pause, as Jade is trying very hard not to be snarky or insulting. His patience has been worn thin by Dist's antics and the fact that he knows just walking away from this conversation at this point might cause things to backslide is virtually the only reason why he's still talking.]

...



Saphir.

[The name is used to remind both of them that Jade is addressing Dist as his former friend partner and not as the God-General he fought against for so long.]

We both bear responsibility for our actions. You chose to follow me and did everything you could to please me, while I chose to take advantage of your devotion. I also chose to leave you behind along with fomicry when I started to understand...

[Another pause, as it's not something that Jade can easily explain, nor does he really want to explain it, as he's still trying to understand it himself.]



[Jade lets out a sigh as he struggles for a simple explanation before Dist jumps to the wrong conclusions again.]

We should never have tried to revive the professor.

[charmingpet]

[Not that again. He was more than a little tired of hearing that nonsense.]

Need I remind you of all that I... we sacrificed for the professor, and all of the good that has come about due to that sacrifice!?

[charmingmaster]

[Now this was a delicate area to discuss and a bitter pill for Jade to swallow. He had accepted that good had come from fomicry, but saying as such to Dist was dangerously risky. He seriously considered admitting it, but after seeing Dist's dream Jade was concerned that it might be enough of an excuse for the God-General to go back on his promise and resume research.]

Perhaps, but can you honestly say it has done us any good?

[charmingpet]

Can you honestly say it hasn't!?