wierd random wonderful weekend
After being out to 5 at a party john wasn't at, he picked me up and brought me home so he knew I got home okay.
He won my grandma over doing that.
Then at 12 yesturday morning john picked me up and we drove all the way to fort bragg.
it was the most beautiful drive i've ever seen
and the most fun i've ever had.
When we finally got back to the motel room,
I let john lay next to me and told him
Despite my thoughts that he could never do it again since i knew where his lips had been
that he could kiss me.
The weekend was romantic
fuck
it was perfect
it was absolutely perfect
i love him
but we talked everything over yet again
and I told him none of this means its okay yet,
that i'm still bothered by the whole thing and still don't trust him
he said he knows and swears he's not going to stop till he proves its okay
So we're still appart
just more affectionate apart