FAN FIC: X-Men: Sorry Go 'Round [UNVEILED] 1/?

[charming_syrai]

TITLE: SORRY GO 'ROUND
FANDOM: X-Men (post X3)
SERIES: UNVEILED (1/?)
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RATING: Rish
WORD COUNT: about 5868
WARNINGS: some language and violence
PAIRING: implied Rogue/Pyro
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SUMMARY: "Look, Rogue, let me be honest with you," the woman speaks bluntly and Shelby can only barely swallow the pained sound, a yelp, trying to climb up her throat, "

Comments

[spfizz]

Psh. Dude. DUDE. Not cool.

. . . okay, well the whole sequel thing is kinda cool. Maybe. Sorta. Who am I kidding? I nearly fell off my chair when I saw this. *titters*

But the cliffhanger thing? Totally not cool. Like, rawr. Hmph.

*pulls out whiny puppy dog eyes*

Hurry uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup. . .

*places eyes back in pickle jar and pokes insistently*

[charming_syrai]

Oh, man, thanks for making me giggle once again.

... don't worry. I'm writing the next damn thing as we speak, er, type. It should be done in a few days... cause I'm kinda obsessed right now. Unless block kicks my ass, of course, but I'm confident about this.

[spfizz]

Giggles and larfs, that's all I'm good for, isn't it? *upturns nose* Hmph.

I feel so used.

. . . *smirks*

I'm actually rather glad you're obsessed, because I'm addicted - and together, I think we make a fine team. . . .y'know, if you cut out the creepy factor. *chucks a pom-pom at you* Woohoo!

[charming_syrai]

*cathes a pom-pom* WOHOOOO!

I actually totally agree with you whacko. We do make a good team, mwuahahah.

I think it's because of the, um, what were they again... squinty eyes?

[smartasschef14]

I got to beta this!! I got to beta this!! :-D

[charming_syrai]

Is it the bat or did you hit your head on something else while making my dinner?

[smartasschef14]

Neither. I banged my head against the wall just after I made your dessert, because it won't let me send emails now because someone characterized my email as spam. Stupid ip address.

But it was really good dessert.
there are leftovers, if my email decides to work.

[smartasschef14]

P.S.

Please say you have an instant messanger of some kind, for until my email is better.

[infiticus]

Hey there

[charming_syrai]

Hee, thanks for the feedback!

Okay, let's see--

I think it would be interesting to have a better feel for how long the time difference is between this and the Marie/John confrontation.
Um, I'm not sure what means.

One criticism - the change in PoV between Shelby and Marie is kind of abrupt; which is ok; but it is also not communicated well. It took me a paragraph or more to realise that I was in Marie's thoughts instead of Shelby's.
Okay, I shall look into it - it's meant to be abrupt because at that point, Shelby kind of shuts down, but it is supposed to be clear the pov switches, SO, therefore as said, I shall look into it.

Thanks for taking my, um, subtle hint. Your reviews always mean a lot... weirdly. I have no idea why *sighs*

I'm actually pretty eager to get the next part out because I kinda feel it's much better than this one... and the third one, the one I'm writing now, well... that one is just beyond weird. HEH, anyway.

Thaaankkk youuu!

[charming_syrai]

Oh, and, NO - to answer your question. Shelby didn't know about Logan or Bobby or Jubilee being mutants. It was sort of carefully protected secret (I actually kinda see it as John's solid decision to keep the kid away from X-Men and their point of views) and as Bobby's kids are WAY younger than Shelby I always kinda thought it would justify her not knowing. And well--

of course, even if she did know Bobby and Jub were mutants, or if their kids showed their true potential, it wouldn't matter - she wouldn't necessarily piece it together (despite the fact she's smart, she's still a kid), because there could be other mutants in the world with the same abilities that she KNOWS iceman has. She just doesn't know who iceman IS, ya noe?

It all makes sense in my head, but when I type it, I never seem to make my point clear. Cruel.