(no subject)
It's amazing. it takes till your ready to kill your self do you reallize why you hert so bad and that you were blaming the wrong people. I blamed draven because i thought he was the cause of why i hurt but he was the fule. We seperated and i thought what have i done to make him so mad. i began to hate myself in every way. ,aybe it was my anger maybe it was the way i look .. i did put on 50 lbs. and a mouth of no explination i still wonder and i come up with a spandid list of how many different ways i could have hurt him and how i never wanted too... never ment to... but i did.... dose that make me as bad as arial.., or Sarah? they hurt him so bad and almost hat them for it... wow i hate my self for ever hurting him.... his words echo in my mind when i do and near the end i realize.... my be if i stoped existoing could i stop hurting him... maybe.... after seeing the hurt in his eyes tonight.... i should't exist.... maybe that is why he is like this... it's all my fault...