(no subject)
i was reading an entry i dont remember writing and i saw that this is what i wished for...
"Something I need but I don't really want is: someone to make my memories dissapear"
"One thing I have that I wish I didn't is: memories"
so i guess i got my wish but i dont know what i wanted to forget so bad because all the things zac tells me about seem so wonderful... i wish i could remember them. i feel so empty not being able to remember simple things like what i did the day before... or where i want to live when i get older or how many kids i want to have or songs that you play for me and especially the ones that have meanings... the thing i miss the most is not being able to remember what the meanings were... not knowing all the inside jokes that we had... im afraid they wont ever come back... i dont know what made me pass out and forget but whatever it was i hope i can make it go away cause i feel so empty right now... i feel like there no reason for anything or maybe there is a reason for not being able to remember 16 hours of my life, maybe im not supposed to remember. maybe there is something in my past i wanted to forget, but now that i dont know what it is, i feel like i want to remember it more than anything. i dont care how bad it is... I WANT MY DAMN MEMORIES BACK.
"Something I need but I don't really want is: someone to make my memories dissapear"
"One thing I have that I wish I didn't is: memories"
so i guess i got my wish but i dont know what i wanted to forget so bad because all the things zac tells me about seem so wonderful... i wish i could remember them. i feel so empty not being able to remember simple things like what i did the day before... or where i want to live when i get older or how many kids i want to have or songs that you play for me and especially the ones that have meanings... the thing i miss the most is not being able to remember what the meanings were... not knowing all the inside jokes that we had... im afraid they wont ever come back... i dont know what made me pass out and forget but whatever it was i hope i can make it go away cause i feel so empty right now... i feel like there no reason for anything or maybe there is a reason for not being able to remember 16 hours of my life, maybe im not supposed to remember. maybe there is something in my past i wanted to forget, but now that i dont know what it is, i feel like i want to remember it more than anything. i dont care how bad it is... I WANT MY DAMN MEMORIES BACK.