"...Bruised But Not Broken..."
Its been a while since I wrote anything here, I guess like everyone else I have those periods of time where I don't feel like writting that much, my 5 or so years here at livejournal are proof of that. I was reading volacious_gus post about looking back and seeing how much we change in so little time, and how every dramatic event in our lives either breaks us or make us stronger and I couldn't agree more, so I went ahead and did the same and started looking back at all these years of livejournal posts and boy...I've been through some shit alright, but here I am, bruised? sure, but certainly not broken.
I went to visit my ex recently at the cemetery...I've been doing that monthly ( with a period of 4 months I couldn't bring myself to do it ) and well, it was certainly an interesting visit. I dropped my dad off @ the office and told him I was gonna visit kuma's grave, so I picked up a dozen roses along the way and drove there. Surprise, his mom was there. It was early in the morning, so I should've known I was gonna run into someone of his family ( I usually go in the afternoons, and I see fresh flowers already there every month, so I always assumed it was his family )
I approached the grave but stood close by, as I was not really sure how she'd react...to my surprise she signals me after a couple of minutes to come over and I do. We greet each other, she makes a comment about how beautiful my roses were and how those were the only flowers kuma ever liked ( which is quite true, as everything else was crap or corny in his eyes ) I simply smiled back. It was a completely ackward momment for me...I mean we hated each other during my relationship with her son, and there we were, playing nice. She gets up to make some room for my roses, and starts talking about how the places nearby don't sell roses and how she has to settle for flowers her son never liked, and how she doesn't have the time to go to the city to buy some before going to work. All this time I'm silent, or just nodding and smiling back. So we sit down and stay quiet for a while, both of us submerged in our own thoughts.
She breaks the silence with a: "what a beautiful morning" comment, to which I reply: "It is, it really is" and she said goodbye a couple of minutes later. And indeed it was a perfectly beautiful morning, clear sky, and a total silence where all you could hear was a lovely breeze. I've never been the kind of person to cry a lot...I like to keep feelings to myself most of the time, and crying is too much of an obvious sign of pain ( I've only experienced the so called "tears of happiness" once in my life, so crying = sign of pain most of the time ) But everytime I go to visit him, I end up crying for some unknown reason...it's like I stare at the picture on his tombstone and I start crying out of the blue.
In other news. I've decided to dedicate full time to my our family company and stop my education for now. The main reason is just being fed up with school, I mean I've been there since 99, did 6 semesters of computer engineering, then switched majors to telecommunications engineering and did 5 semesters of it and I guess somewhere along the way I just lost the desire or motivation to dedicate myself to college life. So I'm taking a break from it, a semester or two, who knows. I want to go back knowing that I'm gonna give it my all to finish the degree, not doing a half assed job and wasting my time and my parent's money. Maybe I'll regret it later on, or maybe it'll be the best decission I've taken in the past few years, only time will tell. For now, school no more. Just work and my hobbies.
Speaking of hobbies, I picked up World of Warcraft again and I'm loving it. The expansion brought a lot of fun things to it, and I'm very into it since it came out. I love my mage and I've been getting some sick gear out of karazhan ( 10-men entry level raid dungeon ) and gruul's lair ( the first 25-men raid on the burning crusade ). I've been doing arena's also with a 5vs5 team, but we don't do many matches a week since most of us 5 are more PvE ( player vs. enviroment for those clueless ) oriented. But PvP ( player vs. player ) can be quite fun sometimes after a long progression night in any given boss we haven't kill.
I decided to let my hair grow and while treating my hair to get there I went ahead and got a new haircut as seen below:
Of course, my family was shocked by the change but they quickly got used to it and all my friends loved it. Which at the end doesn't really matter, cause I wanted the change for myself...not for what other people might say. I'm not a fan of popularity contests.
Funny. How the venom you spit at any given time in life comes back and bites you on the ass. I always made fun of Leonardo ( my ex-ex bf ) because he always has a production ( popular term amongst the gays down here, to denote someone who spends too much time on his personal image before going out ) going on. I mean he can't leave his house without a 2 hour beauty session, from clothing to hair products to makeup. And here I am, not as extreme, but going to my barber's place to treat my hair once a week, and using a couple of products to maintain it during the rest of the week. It takes 5 to 10 mins at home to give it the form I desire, but still, it's something I never did before yet always criticized about leo. Karma's a bitch. I've always said it.
I just reached 8000 km's on my new car in only 3 months. Which could've been in more months but my dad loves to use my car everytime I give him the chance. He's in love with it, and he refuses to use his own car when mine is outside and I'm not gonna go out that particular day or time. I find it quite funny. I sent it to its first service/maintanance yesterday and got it back today. I <3 my car.
I've been watching my usual tv series, american idol is awesome this year, a lot of talented girls. Go LaKisha! she's my girl this season. I just have a thing for power-voice black divas. She's amazing.
I have another story, but I'm gonna split that into another post. This one is long enough.
-x-o-x- m
I went to visit my ex recently at the cemetery...I've been doing that monthly ( with a period of 4 months I couldn't bring myself to do it ) and well, it was certainly an interesting visit. I dropped my dad off @ the office and told him I was gonna visit kuma's grave, so I picked up a dozen roses along the way and drove there. Surprise, his mom was there. It was early in the morning, so I should've known I was gonna run into someone of his family ( I usually go in the afternoons, and I see fresh flowers already there every month, so I always assumed it was his family )
I approached the grave but stood close by, as I was not really sure how she'd react...to my surprise she signals me after a couple of minutes to come over and I do. We greet each other, she makes a comment about how beautiful my roses were and how those were the only flowers kuma ever liked ( which is quite true, as everything else was crap or corny in his eyes ) I simply smiled back. It was a completely ackward momment for me...I mean we hated each other during my relationship with her son, and there we were, playing nice. She gets up to make some room for my roses, and starts talking about how the places nearby don't sell roses and how she has to settle for flowers her son never liked, and how she doesn't have the time to go to the city to buy some before going to work. All this time I'm silent, or just nodding and smiling back. So we sit down and stay quiet for a while, both of us submerged in our own thoughts.
She breaks the silence with a: "what a beautiful morning" comment, to which I reply: "It is, it really is" and she said goodbye a couple of minutes later. And indeed it was a perfectly beautiful morning, clear sky, and a total silence where all you could hear was a lovely breeze. I've never been the kind of person to cry a lot...I like to keep feelings to myself most of the time, and crying is too much of an obvious sign of pain ( I've only experienced the so called "tears of happiness" once in my life, so crying = sign of pain most of the time ) But everytime I go to visit him, I end up crying for some unknown reason...it's like I stare at the picture on his tombstone and I start crying out of the blue.
In other news. I've decided to dedicate full time to my our family company and stop my education for now. The main reason is just being fed up with school, I mean I've been there since 99, did 6 semesters of computer engineering, then switched majors to telecommunications engineering and did 5 semesters of it and I guess somewhere along the way I just lost the desire or motivation to dedicate myself to college life. So I'm taking a break from it, a semester or two, who knows. I want to go back knowing that I'm gonna give it my all to finish the degree, not doing a half assed job and wasting my time and my parent's money. Maybe I'll regret it later on, or maybe it'll be the best decission I've taken in the past few years, only time will tell. For now, school no more. Just work and my hobbies.
Speaking of hobbies, I picked up World of Warcraft again and I'm loving it. The expansion brought a lot of fun things to it, and I'm very into it since it came out. I love my mage and I've been getting some sick gear out of karazhan ( 10-men entry level raid dungeon ) and gruul's lair ( the first 25-men raid on the burning crusade ). I've been doing arena's also with a 5vs5 team, but we don't do many matches a week since most of us 5 are more PvE ( player vs. enviroment for those clueless ) oriented. But PvP ( player vs. player ) can be quite fun sometimes after a long progression night in any given boss we haven't kill.
I decided to let my hair grow and while treating my hair to get there I went ahead and got a new haircut as seen below:
Of course, my family was shocked by the change but they quickly got used to it and all my friends loved it. Which at the end doesn't really matter, cause I wanted the change for myself...not for what other people might say. I'm not a fan of popularity contests.
Funny. How the venom you spit at any given time in life comes back and bites you on the ass. I always made fun of Leonardo ( my ex-ex bf ) because he always has a production ( popular term amongst the gays down here, to denote someone who spends too much time on his personal image before going out ) going on. I mean he can't leave his house without a 2 hour beauty session, from clothing to hair products to makeup. And here I am, not as extreme, but going to my barber's place to treat my hair once a week, and using a couple of products to maintain it during the rest of the week. It takes 5 to 10 mins at home to give it the form I desire, but still, it's something I never did before yet always criticized about leo. Karma's a bitch. I've always said it.
I just reached 8000 km's on my new car in only 3 months. Which could've been in more months but my dad loves to use my car everytime I give him the chance. He's in love with it, and he refuses to use his own car when mine is outside and I'm not gonna go out that particular day or time. I find it quite funny. I sent it to its first service/maintanance yesterday and got it back today. I <3 my car.
I've been watching my usual tv series, american idol is awesome this year, a lot of talented girls. Go LaKisha! she's my girl this season. I just have a thing for power-voice black divas. She's amazing.
I have another story, but I'm gonna split that into another post. This one is long enough.
-x-o-x- m