(no subject)
This is what it felt like last time it was over - when it was all going away with it - sliding through my fingers - because everything is connected. And it isn't the loss that makes you want to give up - but its the lost potential. The loss of the joy. The loss of the future shared experiences of fun feeling like there will never be any more of that - that's what kills you. Eats your soul. Makes you not care enough to get out of bed. And the stupid thing is that it's all so stupid. It wouldn't be that hard to fix it if we just wen't all so stubborn, if we wern't all just so damaged...
it's the hopelessness that crashes you when all you want is someone to come find you and hug you and tell you that we'll find some way to make it work somehow.
When you can't ask any more, but you want it so badly just to have the love back. When the hole where it used to be feels like it's eating away at your heart and you know your some kind of stupid dramatic person but you just can't care because all you want is to be held and told that it will work out some how.
Somehow. For everyone. Somehow. Just to be held while you cry. When history is repeating again and you hate yourself and you can't do a damn thing to stop it and you either want to die or be held and told that it will work out because where you are right now you just can't do it for yourself. Not right now, but if you could just get better you could - you could do it all - if you could just get better. But you need so much to get better and it's too much too much for people to give. And you know that and you just want to ask anyway. Please please just hold me. Tell me it's going to be ok. Tell me they'll fix my heart, tell me I'm not going to die, tell me this won't be my last chance to have a party with my friends tell me you still love me. Lie to me. Lie to me and tell me you love me and you'll find a way to make it work and maybe I"ll have the strength to pull through it. Maybe I"ll get better and it will all be work it. Please, just lie to me.
it's the hopelessness that crashes you when all you want is someone to come find you and hug you and tell you that we'll find some way to make it work somehow.
When you can't ask any more, but you want it so badly just to have the love back. When the hole where it used to be feels like it's eating away at your heart and you know your some kind of stupid dramatic person but you just can't care because all you want is to be held and told that it will work out some how.
Somehow. For everyone. Somehow. Just to be held while you cry. When history is repeating again and you hate yourself and you can't do a damn thing to stop it and you either want to die or be held and told that it will work out because where you are right now you just can't do it for yourself. Not right now, but if you could just get better you could - you could do it all - if you could just get better. But you need so much to get better and it's too much too much for people to give. And you know that and you just want to ask anyway. Please please just hold me. Tell me it's going to be ok. Tell me they'll fix my heart, tell me I'm not going to die, tell me this won't be my last chance to have a party with my friends tell me you still love me. Lie to me. Lie to me and tell me you love me and you'll find a way to make it work and maybe I"ll have the strength to pull through it. Maybe I"ll get better and it will all be work it. Please, just lie to me.