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[charlybird]

I'm not Emily, so you don't read this.

Still. I know you don't believe in forgiveness. But I do. Now.

It's over and I'm sorry. I wish you were too.

I miss you giving me a hard time. No one does that any more. I'm jealous of who ever your best friend is now, and I find myself wondering if they do things like force you to go to the doctor when you're sick and eat.

Everyone around me know shows their love for me so honest and obviously. I miss the sarcasm and the thrill of wondering if my real feelings will make you angry or you'll hate my ideas. It's nice to have people love me, but I miss my special, complicated relationship with you.

I've gone complacent. Lost my fight.

and I miss moch fighting with you.

I find it curious that I'm so easy to replace, but you changed my life.

Anyways, I'm sorry for the way it went down. I think maybe I'm not the only crazy one in this. Now Sarah Emily will be my matron of honor and her husband will be the best man and nothing gothic, or crazy, or really all that embarrassing or fun will actually go down.

So I'm back where I started before I met you. Only not at all.

I forgive you and I'm sorry.