Time to update
My only concern is how to organize all this. lol
Yule/Christmas
The community had their Yule on December 10th, so this is old news, but it was really beautiful.
My dad's whole side of the family got together on Christmas for our semi-annual get together. (We also get together to celebrate all the family birthdays on July 4th)
I ended up having a few drinks. *lol* Ok, I had a glass of wine, 6 (?) Coronas, a shot of Parrot Bay and 2 (?) shots of Crown. I think thats more then a few. Im just glad I didnt feel it in the morning.
Apparently, drinking helps me at dominos, but not at trivial pursuit. *lol* But I digress.
I got some cool stuff too. I got:
~ A new purse
~ lip balms (I am such a whore for lip balms. I currently have 10 in my purse (Mind you, thats just my purse. Think about my car, the bathroom, my computer desk . . . ). I know, its an addiction)
~ matching bag for my luggage
~ sheets
~ cash
~ g.c. to Home Deopt so I can paint my new room
~ etc. (secret santa, would have been mother-in-law, etc)
Work:
I was scheduled 2-5/6-11 last night, but we ended up staying til 12:30! Fucking sucked. We were doing a magazine (a floormove, getting the store ready for sale, beginning today. uber suckage there, but I digress) and I did 3 fucking tables!!!! Most people barely finished their 1. I rock! (and I hate being so good at shit like that, because it means, when its time to change everything back, who are they going to call? Yup, me. *gag*)
I need to find another job because I cant work retail year-round. Working retail makes me a materialistic bitch, lemme tell ya! All day, I see all this cool stuff, and I want it. But I dont REALLY want it. Its just advertising. Its bullshit. And I have to re-realize that all the time.
I dont want to be like the brainless drones who stay with the latest trends. I want out of the rat race. I want to walk the road less traveled, and for the most part, I think I do good. I dont have a car payment, I have all my school stuff paid for without loans. But then I also have 2 grand in credit card debt and the hugest urge to buy that razr phone. Its really sick.
Retail sucks. People spending their money makes me sick. Either they have some rich ass husband who foots their bills, or they are barely squeesing by and still buy $10 lotion. Either way, its discusting. I have to get back into non-profit/reseach/something else. At least then you feel like your helping people, and not contributing to the American Nightmare*.
* - The American Dream is owning a while two-story house, two brand new cars in the driveway, a beautiful husband/wife, 2.5 kids and a dog. What people dont realize is that is also the American Nightmare. You have 2 mortgages on the house, which is falling apart anyway. The two brand new cars are being leased, so theres $600 a month going down the drain. You and your beautiful husband/wife dont have any sex life anymore because your relationship is so fucked up. He/She screwing the milk man/babysitter, and on the off chance the two of you try to have sex, he/she has a STD. Your 2.5 kids are taking drugs/cutting/has a eating disorder/pregnant. And your Labrador is so imbred it has go to the vet all the time to be treated for its problems.
I sometimes hate how much pride I take in my work. I can be a perfectionist at times. Im not going to do something just to get it done. I will do everything as bast as I can. SO, when I put tables together or whatever, I take my time, but when Im done, its awesome. But that means I get asked to do it again.
And let me say that just because Im good at something doesnt mean I like it. SO I end up doing things I hate because I take pride in my work. *gag* I hate this work ethic.
School:
Im thinking about taking a semester off again. I need some time. Im tired of all the demands on me. And I know that part of being an adult is learning how to deal with it all, but adults get vacations too. And I need a vacation. I need some time to read a novel (which I havent done for fun in a long time) and knit (which, I tried to work on while I was stressed, and ended up fucking it up. Now, I dont know how to fix it. If I have to start again, I will be pissed (fyi: Im working on a HP ravenclaw scarf. Its supposed to be like 5 feet long, and Im about 18 inches into it))
Part of me feels the need to stick to the plan, and stick with school. Part of me knows it wont be a good semester, and realizes Id rather be behind in my timeline and happy then on time and hate life.
But, like a lot of things about me, I can talk the talk, but I have a hard time with walking the walk. I have to turn in a letter to the scholarship office to get permission to take a break. Thats the next step. I just have to move my foot.
Personal
My personal life (ie: everything that doesnt fit into either work or school) is so complicated right now, Im not sure I have the will to write it all down.
I also dont think the people who are involved with my personal drama would appreciate me airing it all here, so sorry. I will be dishing no dirt today.
All I can say is Im sorry. I really am.
Yule/Christmas
The community had their Yule on December 10th, so this is old news, but it was really beautiful.
My dad's whole side of the family got together on Christmas for our semi-annual get together. (We also get together to celebrate all the family birthdays on July 4th)
I ended up having a few drinks. *lol* Ok, I had a glass of wine, 6 (?) Coronas, a shot of Parrot Bay and 2 (?) shots of Crown. I think thats more then a few. Im just glad I didnt feel it in the morning.
Apparently, drinking helps me at dominos, but not at trivial pursuit. *lol* But I digress.
I got some cool stuff too. I got:
~ A new purse
~ lip balms (I am such a whore for lip balms. I currently have 10 in my purse (Mind you, thats just my purse. Think about my car, the bathroom, my computer desk . . . ). I know, its an addiction)
~ matching bag for my luggage
~ sheets
~ cash
~ g.c. to Home Deopt so I can paint my new room
~ etc. (secret santa, would have been mother-in-law, etc)
Work:
I was scheduled 2-5/6-11 last night, but we ended up staying til 12:30! Fucking sucked. We were doing a magazine (a floormove, getting the store ready for sale, beginning today. uber suckage there, but I digress) and I did 3 fucking tables!!!! Most people barely finished their 1. I rock! (and I hate being so good at shit like that, because it means, when its time to change everything back, who are they going to call? Yup, me. *gag*)
I need to find another job because I cant work retail year-round. Working retail makes me a materialistic bitch, lemme tell ya! All day, I see all this cool stuff, and I want it. But I dont REALLY want it. Its just advertising. Its bullshit. And I have to re-realize that all the time.
I dont want to be like the brainless drones who stay with the latest trends. I want out of the rat race. I want to walk the road less traveled, and for the most part, I think I do good. I dont have a car payment, I have all my school stuff paid for without loans. But then I also have 2 grand in credit card debt and the hugest urge to buy that razr phone. Its really sick.
Retail sucks. People spending their money makes me sick. Either they have some rich ass husband who foots their bills, or they are barely squeesing by and still buy $10 lotion. Either way, its discusting. I have to get back into non-profit/reseach/something else. At least then you feel like your helping people, and not contributing to the American Nightmare*.
* - The American Dream is owning a while two-story house, two brand new cars in the driveway, a beautiful husband/wife, 2.5 kids and a dog. What people dont realize is that is also the American Nightmare. You have 2 mortgages on the house, which is falling apart anyway. The two brand new cars are being leased, so theres $600 a month going down the drain. You and your beautiful husband/wife dont have any sex life anymore because your relationship is so fucked up. He/She screwing the milk man/babysitter, and on the off chance the two of you try to have sex, he/she has a STD. Your 2.5 kids are taking drugs/cutting/has a eating disorder/pregnant. And your Labrador is so imbred it has go to the vet all the time to be treated for its problems.
I sometimes hate how much pride I take in my work. I can be a perfectionist at times. Im not going to do something just to get it done. I will do everything as bast as I can. SO, when I put tables together or whatever, I take my time, but when Im done, its awesome. But that means I get asked to do it again.
And let me say that just because Im good at something doesnt mean I like it. SO I end up doing things I hate because I take pride in my work. *gag* I hate this work ethic.
School:
Im thinking about taking a semester off again. I need some time. Im tired of all the demands on me. And I know that part of being an adult is learning how to deal with it all, but adults get vacations too. And I need a vacation. I need some time to read a novel (which I havent done for fun in a long time) and knit (which, I tried to work on while I was stressed, and ended up fucking it up. Now, I dont know how to fix it. If I have to start again, I will be pissed (fyi: Im working on a HP ravenclaw scarf. Its supposed to be like 5 feet long, and Im about 18 inches into it))
Part of me feels the need to stick to the plan, and stick with school. Part of me knows it wont be a good semester, and realizes Id rather be behind in my timeline and happy then on time and hate life.
But, like a lot of things about me, I can talk the talk, but I have a hard time with walking the walk. I have to turn in a letter to the scholarship office to get permission to take a break. Thats the next step. I just have to move my foot.
Personal
My personal life (ie: everything that doesnt fit into either work or school) is so complicated right now, Im not sure I have the will to write it all down.
I also dont think the people who are involved with my personal drama would appreciate me airing it all here, so sorry. I will be dishing no dirt today.
All I can say is Im sorry. I really am.