Twosday: Boys or Girls
[Locked from Helena]
Honestly? I have wanted kids. Like, for my whole life I really have. But just in this kind of abstract way, I guess. Sometime way far in the future, when things weren't fucked up for me anymore, and I had a decent job and someone who really loved me and then, yeah, a family. So I could give someone a childhood I didn't get to have, you know? Or I just wanted to prove my mom wrong. It's really not that hard to have a kid, so hard you had to leave them in a fucking bathroom at McDonalds.
But I guess that's all just wishful thinking.
To answer the question, I wouldn't care if it would be a boy or a girl. Just mine, you know? Something that's mine.
Fuck.
But I guess the truth is, no one's going to want to have a family with me. I don't even know if it'll be possible, the way things are going right now. Plus there's something I hadn't thought of before that's come up. If I really am sick like people have been telling me lately, what if... I had a kid and they were like that too? Like me...
I dunno if I could take that. The world's fucked up enough on its own without me being responsible for bringing someone here already damaged. What kind of chance would they really have? I wouldn't want anyone to live like I have. I really really really don't.
Honestly? I have wanted kids. Like, for my whole life I really have. But just in this kind of abstract way, I guess. Sometime way far in the future, when things weren't fucked up for me anymore, and I had a decent job and someone who really loved me and then, yeah, a family. So I could give someone a childhood I didn't get to have, you know? Or I just wanted to prove my mom wrong. It's really not that hard to have a kid, so hard you had to leave them in a fucking bathroom at McDonalds.
But I guess that's all just wishful thinking.
To answer the question, I wouldn't care if it would be a boy or a girl. Just mine, you know? Something that's mine.
Fuck.
But I guess the truth is, no one's going to want to have a family with me. I don't even know if it'll be possible, the way things are going right now. Plus there's something I hadn't thought of before that's come up. If I really am sick like people have been telling me lately, what if... I had a kid and they were like that too? Like me...
I dunno if I could take that. The world's fucked up enough on its own without me being responsible for bringing someone here already damaged. What kind of chance would they really have? I wouldn't want anyone to live like I have. I really really really don't.