Thursday; In the beginning there was...
Gosh, where do I start? Eugenia recommended I start a journal to deal with my problems. Well, not really problems exactly.
Well, Okay, problems. I have no idea what possessed me to admit to not only my husband, *sigh* EX-husband, why can't I get used to that?, but all of Pittsburgh (Well, the "all" of Pittsburgh that listens to WENN) in the middle of "The Hands of Time", of all shows, that I can't remarry him because I am married to someone else. The crushed look on his face was nearly my undoing. (Though there is some part of me that relished that look. It was the same look on MY face when his tramp of an ex-wife threw their marriage license in my face. Karma's a bitch isn't it, Pumpkin!)
Okay, so I have issues about Pavla. I'm sure at some point I'll get into that whole mess.
My other problem. Scotty. I married Scott because, well, I was drunk. He caught me at a rather vulnerable moment and we ended up at a Justice of the Peace. Ironically, that's very similar to how I ended up married to Jeffrey. As for my feelings for Scott. That's complicated. I hated him the moment I met him, but when Pavla came to the station and ripped my heart out, Scott was there to pick me up. He became someone I could talk to, and a shoulder I could cry on and beat on when needed. I do care about him and maybe I do love him.
One of these days I am going to have to choose between Scott and Jeffrey. That's not going to be an easy decision. And this is not the "beginning" entry I started to make, but well, its the beginning of my dealing with the two children in my life and which of the two I'm going to choose. (Though, really, I'd rather just keep them both. They both make me ...happy. Oh God, what am I going to do? )
Well, Okay, problems. I have no idea what possessed me to admit to not only my husband, *sigh* EX-husband, why can't I get used to that?, but all of Pittsburgh (Well, the "all" of Pittsburgh that listens to WENN) in the middle of "The Hands of Time", of all shows, that I can't remarry him because I am married to someone else. The crushed look on his face was nearly my undoing. (Though there is some part of me that relished that look. It was the same look on MY face when his tramp of an ex-wife threw their marriage license in my face. Karma's a bitch isn't it, Pumpkin!)
Okay, so I have issues about Pavla. I'm sure at some point I'll get into that whole mess.
My other problem. Scotty. I married Scott because, well, I was drunk. He caught me at a rather vulnerable moment and we ended up at a Justice of the Peace. Ironically, that's very similar to how I ended up married to Jeffrey. As for my feelings for Scott. That's complicated. I hated him the moment I met him, but when Pavla came to the station and ripped my heart out, Scott was there to pick me up. He became someone I could talk to, and a shoulder I could cry on and beat on when needed. I do care about him and maybe I do love him.
One of these days I am going to have to choose between Scott and Jeffrey. That's not going to be an easy decision. And this is not the "beginning" entry I started to make, but well, its the beginning of my dealing with the two children in my life and which of the two I'm going to choose. (Though, really, I'd rather just keep them both. They both make me ...happy. Oh God, what am I going to do? )