(Untitled)

[deopressoliber]

It's the end of the world in your reality and everyone is being sent to shelters, rockets, whatever. You're only allowed to bring ten items, excluding clothes, so what do you decide to bring to pass the time while the bombs are dropping, wind is blowing, aliens are blowing things up, and zombies are biting?I'd be on the front lines. M14, XM177,

Comments

[chikkiboo]

"What would you do if the world was ending?"
"Ten thousand guns and some bomber planes!"

Christ goddamn, soldgineers. Stop the end of the world with one pistol and a clever remark, I dare you.

[deopressoliber]

Ever wonder why Uncle Kim's missile crashed last month? I adjusted the targeting computers. Well, the targeting computer operators' heads.

[chikkiboo]

Wait, what? I was in '63 at the time, I must have missed something. (Please tell me this means we have supervillains in '09 now. Please. The gadgetry options are so much wider here and James refuses to use modern technology in anything he makes me because it might cause a "temporal paradox" or some sort of boo-hoo sciencey bullshit.)

[deopressoliber]

We have the best supervillains. Kim Il-Sung's son Jong-Il is perfect -- completely ineffectual, yet just crazy enough to cause WW3. And Putin, boss of Russia, is trying to bring back the bad ol' days with the Bear patrols.

[chikkiboo]

But do any of them have laser death machines? All these political things are kind of boring, usually. No real sense of imagination anymore, just a lot of "LOOK AT ME, I AM COMMUNIST AND HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON." Good for you, please call me when you have a plot to blow up the moon or something, you know?

[deopressoliber]

Nah, only we have laser death machines. God bless the U.S.A., and all that. Though a good plurality consider Bush the Second a supervillain . . .

[chikkiboo]

I would have taken a job on him if he had a secret underground lair. He should have a secret underground lair. He could build it in Texas and pretend it was an oil rig or something.

[deopressoliber]

Nah, it'd totally be an undersea lair under Shell's Bullwinkle rig in the Gulf.

Kim would totally blow up the moon if he could. Sadly, Clinton only sold the Commies the guidance systems to reach Los Angeles. North Korea's a good two generations from a moon fortress.

[chikkiboo]

But if it's underwater he can't have genetically-modified longhorn cows controlled by the mind beam he used on the American public to get you to vote for him, patrolling the grounds to gore any unauthorized visitors. The undersea lair could be protected by Cheney, though, eh? I am so asking around in the bar tonight just in case.

See, that's why Korea's not interesting, they pretend to be big and don't actually go through with it. It would be mean for me to pick on them! Like having Mike Tyson beat up the little kid in the playground who pretends he's tough.

[deopressoliber]

Touché. The genetically-modified longhorns could be on the rig, though, and pissed. "Water, water everywhere" &c.