(no subject)
i've had a lot of time to think this break. i spent a week housesitting, where i had nothing more to do, usually, than feed and walk a beautiful chocolate lab named abby and watch too much tv. people visited, which was nice, but i still spent large portions of time alone in an unfamiliar place. this is kind of how i felt when i first started college, although this time i was spatially alone in addition to emotionally. you know you should be enjoying yourself, either partying at college or abusing the privileges of a large, empty house while housesitting, but sometimes the distance from people you care about catches you off guard.
new years i had to return to bethesda at 10pm and watch the ball drop alone (the dog wasnt even in the room for this). last year was the first year i did anything besides hang out with my family on new years. this year i felt both younger, for my lack of sociability on one of the most party-friendly holidays of the year, and older (perhaps more mature? not sure.), for my solitude. i did very "adult" things that evening, like going grocery shopping in zak, during which i realized that while i was upset to not be with friends, i truly enjoy being alone and doing mundane things. maybe thats odd, enojying and resenting being alone, but i wouldnt expect anything less from someone as strangely type-a and laidback as myself.
once again i am babysitting overnight all weekend while my friends leave for college.
new years i had to return to bethesda at 10pm and watch the ball drop alone (the dog wasnt even in the room for this). last year was the first year i did anything besides hang out with my family on new years. this year i felt both younger, for my lack of sociability on one of the most party-friendly holidays of the year, and older (perhaps more mature? not sure.), for my solitude. i did very "adult" things that evening, like going grocery shopping in zak, during which i realized that while i was upset to not be with friends, i truly enjoy being alone and doing mundane things. maybe thats odd, enojying and resenting being alone, but i wouldnt expect anything less from someone as strangely type-a and laidback as myself.
once again i am babysitting overnight all weekend while my friends leave for college.