Today... I'll write a song about Monday
I realized something so extremely important that I wish that God have given me this so long ago. I want to be mad a Him but I'm pretty sure He's been trying to tell me for a long time, but still, I want to shake my fist and then get smited because I deserve it.
I'M NOT READY OR IN NEED OF A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!
The worst part about it is that I learned that lesson by taking someone elses feelings with me. I put this here because a lot, a lot of my friends are very self-esteem oriented by who their dating and how often they date or just having someone to share loneliness with. EMO... so EMO. I'm the guiltiest. I feel so ashamed to even reconsile with this person but we did.... and I feel even more ashamed... and so so confused. Why would God bring this person in my life and not expect me to act on it? Then it dawned... its not up to me to choose how to act, I acted the way I wanted when it definetly wasn't going to be His plan for me. By the time I realized it, I was to deep and learned my lesson by hurting someone else.
All I see is this sheet of guilt and the expression on their face... I.... just pray...
PLEASE DON'T RESPOND WITH YOUR "ADVICE", I KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE, AND I'M TRYING MY BEST.
The very word
instant and rehearsed
These fresh burns
laid up in the most
uncomfortable seed in her eyes
Cradled in fine
linen and confined
Brought up inside
introvert it died
lost in the realness that is this, cheap daily life