(no subject)
Chapter Two.
Quinn woke up with a groan, her whole body aching as she tried to sit up. With a thud, the right side of her body hit the hard ground and her hand flung to clutch at her shoulder, but the expected additional pain never showed. At first, the sight of her healed wound stopped her from realizing where she was, or that she had no clothes on. For a blinding, terrifying moment, she expected to see Rachel, bleeding and at what seemed like second of dying, being carried away by the paramedics. But she was alone, naked, laying on the same spot on the ground. She panicked for a second, thinking perhaps she was still there, perhaps no one had worried about her and they had thought her dead, leaving her worthless body and worrying about saving Rachel.
She pushed the plaguing dark thoughts away, only to be left with utter astonishment and panic. What happened? What had she done? Looking around, she saw the river in the distance and stood up on shaky legs, both from her muscular pain and the cold. It wasn’t snowing yet, but the ground was wet from the morning dew and Quinn saw her bare feet covered in mud, as well as her hands and most of her legs. The cold water made her body feel covered by tiny needles and she didn’t even last a minute in it, but it was enough to clean herself.
She couldn’t remember how she ended up in the woods… she didn’t even remember waking up the day before. In the distance, Quinn saw something red and walked as fast as her shaking body allowed her. Her coat lay there shadowed by a tree, and she bent down, steadying herself on the log to pick it up, wrapping herself inside it and buttoning it up with trembling fingers. She walked around to try and find more of her clothes, but to no avail. Had she had an accident and lost part of her memory? She didn’t know what kind of accident she could have suffered in the middle of the woods. She sure hadn’t been attacked again, and the tiny road almost a mile away didn’t have space for two cars to drive, much less crash fatally. Maybe she’d been… assaulted? Her body did hurt, but there seemed to be no actual damage. Even… her wound seemed months healed, instead of weeks. Her heartbeat hadn’t slowed the slightest since she’d woken up, and she had to sit on the dead pieces of wood they’d used as benches just a month ago. She had to go home. There were no signs of anybody else in there. She remembered there was some house or cabin a couple of miles away, just at the end of the road. A farm where a man named Mr. Linton lived, he had sheep and chickens and she remembered people bought fresh eggs from him. It would take her a couple of hours to get there on her
condition, but perhaps she could borrow some shoes and money to take the bus.
&&&
Rachel got home in the afternoon, still shaking from the cold and exhaustion and fear, to a dark and empty house. Her fathers were still at work and she was both relieved and terrified by that notion. Since she had woken up, naked in the middle of the woods, everything seemed surreal. She felt she had woken up from a strange dream into another dimension. She had no idea where she was, there was no path, no road to indicate where she stood until she found the river. She’d launched herself in it to wash away the mud that covered her body and stayed under water for as long as she could. She regretted it as soon as the cold air hit her cold, wet, naked body, oddly enough feeling more exposed now that she was clean. But then, oh surprise! She saw her shirt lying on the ground a few feet away and walked as fast as she could to get it, tripping from her trembling muscles and steadying herself against a tree before almost falling to the ground. She walked in an almost straight line through the trees and found most of her clothes, even her shoes.
Now at home, Rachel still didn’t remember anything from the day before, her entire body hurt and her heartbeat and trembling hands were impossible to soothe. Gripping the railing tightly with both hands, she slowly made her way upstairs and walked to her bathroom, opening the tab before taking off her clothes. As a ritual for the past month, she regarded herself in front of the mirror before gasping and clutching at the sink. Her wound, previously pinkish and flat, was healed to almost the color of her skin, the dents from her attacker’s teeth sticking out, no more red but almost white, lighter than her skin tone. What had happened to her? There was just no way than in two days her scar had healed completely. Yet, here she stood… lowering herself slowly, Rachel sighed as her muscles relaxed under the warm water and her heartbeat slowed steadily.
By the time her fathers got home, Rachel’s body was soothed and her hands could hold her mug of tea steady.
“Hi, Honey.” Her Daddy greeted. “Did you have fun at Kurt’s?”
Rachel closed her eyes and sighed in relief. They didn’t have a clue; they weren’t worried about her at all.
“A blast.” She smiled before sipping her tea.
“Are you feeling alright?” Rachel’s Dad, Hiram, stood close to her and touched her forehead. She leaned away slightly.
“Yes Dad. I just have a small headache.” She stood up. “I’m actually quite tired, so if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go to bed early.”
She had reached the stairs when her father Leroy peered at her from the kitchen’s doorframe.
“What about food?”
“Kurt’s been taking an on-line Italian food course, so I’m stuffed until tomorrow.” She lied.
“That’s wonderful! Do tell him to cook for us here sometime. Lord knows we only know how to burn the kitchen.”
“I’ll tell him. Good night, Daddy.”
“Goodnight, Baby Girl!” He sing-songed from the kitchen.
Rachel didn’t sleep much that night, terrified of waking up in the woods the next morning, without memory of the past day. She knew she sleep-walked as a child, but seriously?
Twelve blocks away, curled up completely under a blanket on her bed, Quinn had similar thoughts and fears running through her mind. Was she going insane?
&&&
It took until the last night of Winter Break before Quinn could go to sleep without fear for the next morning. Daytime fear still haunted her, though. She couldn’t just let it go, couldn’t shake the fear that maybe… Quinn knew she was sad, unhealthily sad. She’d never been a particularly happy girl, but it got worse after Beth. Her mother had asked her a thousand times, and every time, she lied. Every time, her mother accepted it, because it was all they knew. Quinn didn’t hold it against her. So she said she was fine; said it to her mother, to people at school… to herself. But she knew it was all a lie. An outrageous one. Often, she’d spend her day looking blankly through her bedroom window for hours, her mind numb. She had dark thoughts, sad thoughts; she felt lonely, unlovable, but she had never been afraid. Deep down, even if she never cared to admit it, Quinn was depressed. She was sad, and sometimes scared, but never afraid. She’d lost a whole day in her life! What if… what if her mind had screwed up completely? What if she had some kind illness? Multiple personality? A tumor? She daren’t tell her mother about it. Quinn’s grandmother had committed suicide and her mother took Prozac. She would want to send Quinn to a psychiatrist, or to a hospital… Quinn couldn’t, wouldn’t tell anyone. She’d deal with it herself, alone, like she had done with everything else her entire life.
&&&
Rachel went to bed fully prepared for school the next day. Her Winter Break had been productive and relaxing, for the most part. She’d spent her time with Kurt and Mercedes, sometimes with Blaine tagging along. She’d exercised on the elliptical every morning, did vocal exercises every afternoon, uploaded My Space videos every three days, and tried baking several vegan recipes, succeeding almost every time. And between those things, Rachel took it upon herself as a duty to do some research on what had happened that day, two weeks ago. Mostly came out futile. As far as she could remember, decipher and judge from her personality, she hadn’t done drugs or drank enough alcohol to swallow an entire day, and she hadn’t suffered any trauma… that she remembered. It was too late for trauma being because of the attack on the camping trip, and she still had nightmares over that, anyway. Rachel took a method from one of her favorites, non-musical movies, and had kept a diary of her day to day life. So far, there wasn’t a minute of these past few weeks she’d forgotten.
The first week of school rushed in front of her eyes, what with turning in papers, club meetings and long discussions about Glee Club with Mr. Schuester. He’d taken it a little easier with her after the attack, she assumed he felt partially guilty for taking them there, and she couldn’t deny she would feel the same way. So he’d been more open to her suggestions, and sometimes she felt he was the same man he’d been when he’d first taken over the club. Rachel wasn’t sure what had changed in his life to make him more selfish and more of a lousy teacher than he already was, perhaps the end of his marriage or middle-age crisis, but whatever the reason, she was glad at least some of his old personality was back. So she had to admit that now that she got along better with everyone, Glee was starting to become more comfortable and had taken even a little bit more of her time.
That’s why, when the fourth week started, Rachel didn’t give much thought to her morning and afternoon headaches, or her more-than-usual exhaustion. She chalked it up to the being back school madness and starting ballet again, and wrote down on her diary about needing to take some vitamins.
&&&
Quinn didn’t give a single thought to her fever when she woke up on Tuesday morning; it wasn’t like Coach Sylvester would care. She did her usual morning routine, got into her winter Cheerios uniform and packed an extra bag of clothes, because there was no way she was staying on a skirt after practice. Getting out of the house to open the garage door to get her car, something stopped her mid-step. There was just something in the air, the way it felt against her skin and cleared her head, that made her want to walk. She didn’t care if it was a ridiculous amount to walk, more so with the weather, she just couldn’t help herself. Her feet took her forward, the houses and shops and parks became blurry as her body took her where she just knew she had to be. There was something, far away, that tugged her forward by the shoulders; something that felt promising and blissful, and there was nothing that Quinn wanted more than to feel like that. In the back of her head, she knew there was something odd about it, something eerily familiar, but she couldn’t stop herself from walking miles and miles without feeling tired, feeling happier as she approached whatever it was that was waiting ahead. The Sun was high in the sky as she walked, then lower, setting. Quinn smiled, in spite of not knowing where she was and having no control over her body, when she realized it was about to get dark. It didn’t register that she’d been walking all day, that she’d missed school, Cheerios and Glee, because the Moon was coming, and there was nothing more important or better than that.
She began running as that thought set, grinning when trees filled her vision, laughing as she began running through them. Her backpack hit the ground, and next were her sneakers. Quinn’s heart began pounding faster as she realized, in a panic that lasted less than a second, that something was going on. She was taking her clothes and running through the woods, and she couldn’t stop her body, couldn’t get a hold of it. But after that fleeting second, laughter bubbled inside her chest, the Moon bathing the sky and washing over her face as she fell to the ground. She heard a distant scream, chilling her bones for less than a second as it reminded her of something, now hidden in the back of her mind. Her body shook and she arched up, a scream filling the air and running through her entire body before turning into a growl, and then everything went black.
&&&
Rachel walked the halls aimlessly on Thursday morning. She had missed two days of school, again with no memory of an entire day. Well, almost. She remembered waking up in the morning with high temperature and forgoing the elliptical, taking a shower instead. She remembered changing and getting out of the house, then everything became blurry. There were streets and shops and houses and she was almost sure she ran. Then she remembered being a heap on the floor… someone was screaming inside her mind, or maybe it was her. Then she woke up in the woods, naked, with no idea how she got there. Again. One time was disturbing enough, but to happen twice? That was no coincidence. Was she dying? Was something happening with her brain? Rachel couldn’t shake those thoughts away, everything around her was a mass of color and sound as she walked to Glee and sat down in the back row, resting her head on her hands and rubbing her temples with her thumbs. That’s why she didn’t hear Brittany ask Quinn why she missed two days of school. Or perhaps it was Mercedes, who entered the Choir room in that same moment and hollowed.
“Berry!”
Rachel jumped in her chair and clutched at the material of her sweater in her chest.
“Lord, Mercedes, must you be so loud?”
“Must you use that language?” She mocked as she drooped down on a chair next to her own. “Where were you on Tuesday?” She said next, in a conspiratorial whisper, like they were sharing a dirty secret.
Rachel paled.
“I was… at my house. I didn’t -didn’t feel very well.”
“Girl, please. One of your dads call me to see if you were with me because it was late and you hadn’t called, so I told them you fell asleep and to just let you crash at mine’s. You’ll thank me for that later, after you tell me where you were.” Mercedes grinned, ignoring Mr. Schuester in the front, calling for everyone to be silent.
Rachel listened to her containing a groan, thinking why it never occurred to her that her dads weren’t worried when she didn’t get home for a whole day. Excuses eluded her, so she stayed silent, clutching her head and hoping Mercedes would let it go.
“Please tell me you weren’t at Puck’s. I know for a fact you didn’t see Finn, ‘cause my boy Kurt told me you didn’t stop by.”
Of course she wouldn’t.
After a moment of silence filled with Mr. Schuester speaking to himself, she prodded again.
“I’m only asking out of concern for you, ‘kay? I wouldn’t want to be under Zizes’ fists. Just ask Santana.”
“I went to a friends’ house, Mercedes.” Rachel whispered, trying to keep the irritation from seeping in. She was so tired.
“A friend? What other friends do you have apart from us gleeks? No offence.”
“From ballet… a friend from my ballet class. I really didn’t feel good, Mercedes, so I fell asleep on her house and then slept all Wednesday at home.”
“So I’m supposed to buy my own excuse? Na-uh, if you wanna lie, at least -“
“Oh my God, please stop talking!” Rachel snapped.
Everyone turned around to look at them in disbelief, appalled at Rachel’s unusual harshness. Finn was gaping at them and Santana had a deep smirk on her face.
“Oh, I -I’m so sorry, Mercedes. I’m sorry.” Rachel gushed, almost clutching at her arm. Mercedes was just as flabbergasted as everyone else. “I’m just… not feeling very well.”
Using Mercedes’ arm for support, Rachel got up and swung her bag pack over her shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” She said again. “I’m going to go home, Mr. Schuester. I hope you can continue the meeting without me. I realize it’s completely unprofessional for me to go, but I really don’t feel well.”
“It’s okay, Rachel. Go home and rest.” Mr. Schue smiled and rested a hand on her shoulder as she walked by past him. “I’m sure we can survive one meeting without you.”
If it weren’t for his warm tone and the comforting touch of his hand, Rachel would have taken that comment the wrong way, but she just walked slowly out of the room.
“Yeah, I’m gonna go, too.” Quinn said softly, lifting her head from Sam’s shoulder and squeezing his hand after grabbing her backpack. “I’m not feeling well either.”
“You take some rest too, Quinn.” The teacher frowned. “Maybe there’s a virus going on.”
Rachel felt a hand on her shoulder was she walked down the hallway.
“Hey Rachel.” Quinn said softly beside her.
“What are you doing here, Quinn? Did I forget something?”
“No, I’m just… I have a little cold, so I’m going home too. Wouldn’t be able to sing anyway.” She shrugged. Rachel merely nodded. “Do you need a ride?”
“I was going to take the bus…” She trailed off, seeing Quinn bite her lip out of the corner of her eye. “Don’t bother if you’re not feeling too well.”
“No, I don’t mind.” Quinn shook her head. Ugh, eager much? “It’s just a cold.”
Quinn fought the urge to speak the whole ride. Rachel just sat in the passenger seat, leaning her head against it with her eyes closed, a tired expression on her face. She had bags under her eyes and her hands were clasped in her lap. Quinn thought she seemed to keep them from trembling. In reality, Rachel wasn’t a far cry from how she looked right now. For a moment, Quinn had the ridiculous urge to say “Hey Rach… woke up naked in the woods these days?” But she bit her lips between her teeth; it was just a coincidence they were sick at the same time. She pulled over at the front of the brunette’s house and looked at her. Rachel had fallen asleep, and Quinn just… stared at her for a moment, not really realizing what she was doing. She shook her head when her stomach started fluttering and rested a hand on her shoulder.
“Rachel? Wake up, you’re home.” The brunette’s eyebrows furrowed and she blinked her eyes open. Quinn smiled softly at her. “You’re home.”
Rachel nodded sleepily and Quinn reached to grab her bag from the back seat with her free hand.
“Here. Get some rest.”
“Thank you for bringing me home, Quinn.” Rachel smiled tiredly, resting her hand atop of the pale one on her shoulder. “You get some rest too, okay?”
Quinn nodded as Rachel got out of her car and closed the door, whispering “okay” to the brunette’s retreating back.
When she got home, she only slipped off her shoes before climbing in bed under the covers, tears immediately running down her cheeks. She didn’t know if she cried because, in her own troubled way, she was burying her feelings deep inside a countless time again, or if it was just the usual for these past days. Because Quinn was sure now, without a doubt, that she was losing her mind.