I feel like I'm 12 again. I might need help
CharlieFox says:
I realized last night that I should not have moved here when I did
CharlieFox says:
I should have waited until Brenton was here
Farron says:
well, the idea was that he would be there next month, right?
CharlieFox says:
well, that's part of the problem
Farron says:
and you wouldn't have had your appartment
CharlieFox says:
the original idea was that he would be here last fall
CharlieFox says:
and then it was last christmas
CharlieFox says:
and then it was march
CharlieFox says:
and now it's sometime between april and july
CharlieFox says:
probably closer to july
Farron says:
yeah, I see what you are saying
CharlieFox says:
if I had just known from the beginning, I wouldn't have applied for school here until later
CharlieFox says:
it could have worked out perfectly
CharlieFox says:
yes, I would be living in a different apartment here
Farron says:
well, it has worked out almost perfectly
CharlieFox says:
but this apartment may not be worth all that I've gone through
Farron says:
the weather was great on the move out
CharlieFox says:
except that I am losing myself
CharlieFox says:
I am not me anymore
Farron says:
all I can say is that you are still refreshing to talk to which lets me know that you haven't totally lost yourself, you are you, just a solitare you... just think, this will be the last period of time in your life where you will actually be alone
CharlieFox says:
but I am all alone
CharlieFox says:
and that is not me
CharlieFox says:
I used to be a busy person, with lots of friends and family
CharlieFox says:
I was productive
CharlieFox says:
I worked hard
CharlieFox says:
I enjoyed my freetime and my time alone
CharlieFox says:
I am none of those things here
CharlieFox says:
I am a pathetic version of my former self
CharlieFox says:
and since I've been here, I am at my best when I am talking to you and other friends
CharlieFox says:
because that is the closest I can get to my former self
CharlieFox says:
and because I miss everyone so much that I am really engaged
CharlieFox says:
I really try
CharlieFox says:
but everything else is just pathetic
CharlieFox says:
and this is all making me resent brenton
CharlieFox says:
and that is why I should not have moved here so soon
Farron says:
I'm sorry things haven't gone according to plan but please don't let those thoughts get deep down inside of you. Brenton will be there soon, you will be coming back here even sooner.
CharlieFox says:
I'm just affraid the damage is done
Farron says:
no, don't let it
CharlieFox says:
and that I will never be able to fix the problems that I have created
Farron says:
you will be restored, and things will be better
CharlieFox says:
things will have to be better
CharlieFox says:
if they get worse, I'm coming hom
CharlieFox says:
e
CharlieFox says:
for good
Farron says:
when?
CharlieFox says:
if things get worse
CharlieFox says:
I'm hoping it doesn't come to that
Farron says:
good, don't let it come to that, stick it out
CharlieFox says:
I'm trying
CharlieFox says:
but I am sinking
Farron says:
well go find a floatie
Farron says:
what makes you feel better
Farron says:
do that, a lot, like more than you are now
CharlieFox says:
I don't know what makes me feel better
CharlieFox says:
nothing really makes me feel better
Farron says:
talking to friends -
CharlieFox says:
it's always just a quick fix
Farron says:
that does, you said so earlier
Farron says:
well, quick fix it for awhile until you make more friends there
CharlieFox says:
quick, meaning it goes away quickly too
CharlieFox says:
it hardly gets me from day to day
Farron says:
I'm sorry Laura. I think it's time to start seeing a couselor or get on some mild anti-depressants for awhile.
CharlieFox says:
yeah
CharlieFox says:
maybe
CharlieFox says:
it just makes me mad because I did this to myself
Farron says:
I've got to go before my dad gets home, I've been avoiding him like the plague
CharlieFox says:
oh
CharlieFox says:
I'm sorry
CharlieFox says:
well, get to wrok
CharlieFox says:
work
Farron says:
no, I'm sorry
CharlieFox says:
you've helped
Farron says:
I want to have to right words to say to you
CharlieFox says:
and really, there are no right words
CharlieFox says:
I need to get over my mistake
CharlieFox says:
and do what I can
Farron says:
there are, I just need some time to gather them
CharlieFox says:
Farron says:
that's good too
CharlieFox says:
well, get back to me later
Farron says:
I will after work
CharlieFox says:
CharlieFox says:
ok
CharlieFox says:
thanks
I realized last night that I should not have moved here when I did
CharlieFox says:
I should have waited until Brenton was here
Farron says:
well, the idea was that he would be there next month, right?
CharlieFox says:
well, that's part of the problem
Farron says:
and you wouldn't have had your appartment
CharlieFox says:
the original idea was that he would be here last fall
CharlieFox says:
and then it was last christmas
CharlieFox says:
and then it was march
CharlieFox says:
and now it's sometime between april and july
CharlieFox says:
probably closer to july
Farron says:
yeah, I see what you are saying
CharlieFox says:
if I had just known from the beginning, I wouldn't have applied for school here until later
CharlieFox says:
it could have worked out perfectly
CharlieFox says:
yes, I would be living in a different apartment here
Farron says:
well, it has worked out almost perfectly
CharlieFox says:
but this apartment may not be worth all that I've gone through
Farron says:
the weather was great on the move out
CharlieFox says:
except that I am losing myself
CharlieFox says:
I am not me anymore
Farron says:
all I can say is that you are still refreshing to talk to which lets me know that you haven't totally lost yourself, you are you, just a solitare you... just think, this will be the last period of time in your life where you will actually be alone
CharlieFox says:
but I am all alone
CharlieFox says:
and that is not me
CharlieFox says:
I used to be a busy person, with lots of friends and family
CharlieFox says:
I was productive
CharlieFox says:
I worked hard
CharlieFox says:
I enjoyed my freetime and my time alone
CharlieFox says:
I am none of those things here
CharlieFox says:
I am a pathetic version of my former self
CharlieFox says:
and since I've been here, I am at my best when I am talking to you and other friends
CharlieFox says:
because that is the closest I can get to my former self
CharlieFox says:
and because I miss everyone so much that I am really engaged
CharlieFox says:
I really try
CharlieFox says:
but everything else is just pathetic
CharlieFox says:
and this is all making me resent brenton
CharlieFox says:
and that is why I should not have moved here so soon
Farron says:
I'm sorry things haven't gone according to plan but please don't let those thoughts get deep down inside of you. Brenton will be there soon, you will be coming back here even sooner.
CharlieFox says:
I'm just affraid the damage is done
Farron says:
no, don't let it
CharlieFox says:
and that I will never be able to fix the problems that I have created
Farron says:
you will be restored, and things will be better
CharlieFox says:
things will have to be better
CharlieFox says:
if they get worse, I'm coming hom
CharlieFox says:
e
CharlieFox says:
for good
Farron says:
when?
CharlieFox says:
if things get worse
CharlieFox says:
I'm hoping it doesn't come to that
Farron says:
good, don't let it come to that, stick it out
CharlieFox says:
I'm trying
CharlieFox says:
but I am sinking
Farron says:
well go find a floatie
Farron says:
what makes you feel better
Farron says:
do that, a lot, like more than you are now
CharlieFox says:
I don't know what makes me feel better
CharlieFox says:
nothing really makes me feel better
Farron says:
talking to friends -
CharlieFox says:
it's always just a quick fix
Farron says:
that does, you said so earlier
Farron says:
well, quick fix it for awhile until you make more friends there
CharlieFox says:
quick, meaning it goes away quickly too
CharlieFox says:
it hardly gets me from day to day
Farron says:
I'm sorry Laura. I think it's time to start seeing a couselor or get on some mild anti-depressants for awhile.
CharlieFox says:
yeah
CharlieFox says:
maybe
CharlieFox says:
it just makes me mad because I did this to myself
Farron says:
I've got to go before my dad gets home, I've been avoiding him like the plague
CharlieFox says:
oh
CharlieFox says:
I'm sorry
CharlieFox says:
well, get to wrok
CharlieFox says:
work
Farron says:
no, I'm sorry
CharlieFox says:
you've helped
Farron says:
I want to have to right words to say to you
CharlieFox says:
and really, there are no right words
CharlieFox says:
I need to get over my mistake
CharlieFox says:
and do what I can
Farron says:
there are, I just need some time to gather them
CharlieFox says:
Farron says:
that's good too
CharlieFox says:
well, get back to me later
Farron says:
I will after work
CharlieFox says:
CharlieFox says:
ok
CharlieFox says:
thanks